Peter Callahan, longtime attorney for the Catholic Diocese of Orange.

Today, the Orange County Register plays catchup to the Los Angeles Times and interviews Scott Hicks, who claims Bishop Tod D. Brown abused him decades ago. Again, no mention of the fact that the Weekly broke this story six months ago.

But we're straying from our point. In the Register piece, Callahan was asked to comment about Brown. Not only does Callahan label Hicks' allegation as an "attack," but he then offers this gem:

"Bishop Brown is a good and decent man and he has led the way among many bishops across the country in trying to resolve the pain of victims who have been harmed in any way by any things or persons associated with the Church," [Callahan] continued.

Hey, Petey: dunno how much silver His Excellency is paying you to spout such crapola, but I wouldn't classify as "good and decent" somebody who creates one set of rules for themselves and another for everyone else. And that's just the most recent example to cite: here's some hella older ones.

• California's Police State: Imagine you are a suspect and the police take your entire statement out of context by secretly recording only snippets that seem to incriminate you in a crime. Can’t happen? Think again. California police officers have won the right to selectively tape you. It’s the Rush Limbaugh method of police work and by any fair measure it’s disgraceful. Today, Register opinion writer Steven Greenhut slams Orange County state representative Todd Spitzer (R-Brea) for his attempts to thwart any police reform legislation including SB511 which would force cops to record entire interrogations in violent felony cases. Greenhut isn’t disturbed by debating the merits of the police reform proposals. He’s pissed that Spitzer, a “second-rate demagogue,” is attempting to defeat numerous law enforcement reform measures with a cheap argument: police don’t want reforms and anyone who does is pro criminal. In “Disagree with Spitzer and You Love Criminals,” Greenhut writes:

  Spitzer's speech earlier this month on the floor of the Assembly was a stem-winder. There's demagoguery, a fierce attack on a straw man and the setting up of false choices. It includes invective and taunting. It is pompous, deceptive and totally for show, given that no one is persuaded to change their mind by such banter. Spitzer's talk reflects an unthinking trust in government power and a stunning lack of concern about common government abuses, excesses and mistakes. Spitzer acts mainly as the spokesman for an interest group (the law-enforcement unions) rather than as a defender of the Constitution or the people.

  It’s not a secret that Spitzer, a former reserve cop termed out of Sacramento soon, dreams of eventually becoming the local district attorney if he can keep on the good side of GOP kingmaker Michael J. Schroeder and the powerful local union that represents deputies and prosecution investigators.

  Read the column here.



• Tustin Inspired Space Travel? The Los Angeles Times finds 51-year-old Young K. Bae, a “maverick one-man rocket research institution in Tustin.” Bae tells reporter Peter Pae that he’s working on the “photonic laser thruster.” Sounds like something from the Jetsons, but Bae--a UC Berkeley atomic and nuclear physics graduate--thinks he can overcome “the physical barriers of current rocket science technology.” The dream is to harness laser power enough to power future space ships. A joke you say? Perhaps, but U.S. Government officials at NASA have been so impressed with Bae’s work that they recently award him $230,000 to continue his research. As a sign of the possibilities, he’s hoping to soon prove a laser beam can lift an object the size and weight of a CD.


• More on the Bishop Brown Mess: Reporter Rachanee Srisavasdi travelled to Fresno to interview Scott Hicks, the man who claims Bishop Tod Brown repeatedly molested him decades ago. The alleged sexual abuse has scarred Hicks, a solid citizen, good husband and father who even today needs escape from his childhood memories. He stares at the flowers in his yard, cuddles with his dogs, sculpts pottery, reads poetry, draws and plays guitar, according to Srisavasdi. “These things help you escape,” Hicks tells her. “They make everything go away and, for a while, I can feel good.” Hicks believes that the abuse started one day when he attended a Bakersfield confessional with Brown, admitted that he’d been aroused by his father’s Playboy and quickly found himself the object of the future bishop’s sexual perversions. The Hicks story--revealed five months ago by OC Weekly’s Gustavo Arellano--has created a public relations nightmare for Brown. In an attempt to win public relations points in the seemingly never-ending sex abuse scandals, the Bishop had guaranteed that all allegations of abuse would be released publicly. The church released many documents, but one remained--as Arellano proved--buried: Brown’s relationship with Hicks. Peter Callahan, a snotty, hired legal gun for the Diocese of Orange, notes that it’s the bishop’s word versus Hicks, and the bishop says the man-boy sex charge is “untrue.” I guess that is supposed to be comforting. Still, the church won’t release documents and, bless his heart, Hicks passed an independent polygraph examination about his tale. Srisavasdi, a Reg courthouse reporter, “balanced” her story by throwing in some quotes by professors who question regained memories while in therapy.


• SF Braggart on TCA: Former Weekly contributor Alex Brant-Zawadzki--now in a San Francisco for law school--wants attention for his contributions in the fight against the TCA's plans for a new toll road in South County. In his Saturday blog posting, ABZ says last week's bombshell California Coastal Commission report should have cited his old OCW work which reached the same conclusion: the proposed road is a potential disaster on several fronts despite TCA lies otherwise. To read him gloat, go here. You can tell he's going to be one annoying lawyer someday. Just don't let this Newport Beach boy play with refrigerator magnets.

• The Final Solution: Alicia Robinson at the Daily Pilot takes over court duty in the Benito Acosta trial and finds ACLU lawyers continuing to press their point that Acosta’s arrest for speaking at a Costa Mesa city council meeting was “political.” At a 2006 public meeting, Mayor Allan Mansoor allowed members of the Minutemen Project to stand to show support for a controversial cops-immigration plan backed by Mansoor. But when it was Acosta’s turn to speak, Mansoor--an honorary member of the Minutemen group--turned the public microphone off before the allotted three minute speaking period had lapsed, demanded that pro-Acosta folks remain seated, took a break in the meeting and had a gaggle of cops drag Acosta from the hearing. When Acosta reached back to the podium for his speech officers pounced, according to video. Three police officers want the Newport Beach jury to believe that Acosta, a little fellow, scared them and, given this is OC where an on-duty officer can ejaculate on a female motorist and get away with it, jurors will probably buy it. Robinson says Officer Dan Guth testified that the expulsion and arrest was necessary “because of the situation inside the council that was being created by [Acosta] and what he was saying and his actions.” [My emphasis.] But there wasn’t any violence until the cops used force to help Mansoor. Acosta had merely asked his allies to stand just as Jim Gilchrest with the Minutemen had been allowed to do. He didn't call for violence. The person who should be on trial is Mansoor, a shameless hack who built his political career on antagonizing the least powerful in Costa Mesa.
• It Worked for the Chinese? The Department of Homeland Security claims it will complete 70 miles of new border fencing this month despite earlier predictions otherwise, writes Richard Marosi at the Times. DHS Secretary Michael Chertoff went to Arizona yesterday to celebrate the wall and the Secure Border Initiative with Boeing Co. engineers like Welby Redwine (didn’t make the name up, honest.) Redwine gives Marosi the money quote: “This is going to be a rude awakening for the crowds [of poor immigrants] that come in the fall.” Yeah, I’m sure the Mexicans don’t know where the US is putting the fence.
• Sifting Through Toll Road Lies: On Friday, the California Coastal Commission released a scathing reporting rejecting a long list of silly claims in support of a new toll road by Orange County’s Transportation Corridor Agencies (TCA). The TCA (a tool of local real estate developers) wants to build a 16-mile road at a cost of $875 million (a preposterous lie; triple the number for a glimpse of reality) through San Onofre State Beach, one of the last undeveloped coastal regions in Southern California. Predictably, the Orange County Register and Times lazily present the issue as either save-the-environment or reduce-traffic-congestion. Reality check: the new road has nothing to do with reducing existing traffic. OC building industry interests desperately need the road built to sell tens of thousands of new homes they have planned for South County. What will tens of thousands of new homes do? It sure won't reduce traffic.
• California Cryobank: Looking for a fascinating read this weekend? See "The God of Sperm: In an industry veiled in secrecy, a powerful L.A. sperm peddler shapes the nation’s rules on disease, genetics — and accidental incest" by Steven Kotler at our mighty sister paper, LA Weekly.

Motherfucker. I am so disappointed. I thought this was the last time this piece of shit show was going to air but unfortunately next week is the finale episode of Newport Harbor, not this week. This allows just one last chance for these complete fucking wastes of space to invade our lives with their meaningless jargon and Barbie clichés.

So the episode opens with Sasha and Chrissy (BFF!) pondering the meaning of life, it was the blond leading the blond as they discussed the great unknown – whether Chrissy and Clay would stay together after graduation.

How come they never said that Clay was a junior? WTF. I’ve been watching this god-forsaken show for weeks now and this is the first I’ve heard of it. Anyway, the whole cast is abuzz with graduation talk.

Allie wants to know if she will be able to go to Europe, where we last left things she was arguing about how unfair her life is because her parents don’t think she is mature enough to go off to Europe without parental supervision. They were right. But regardless, Allie and her friend that doesn’t matter to the story line were left to discuss a change in strategy.

“Try to be mature about it,” The friend that doesn’t matter to the story line said. “It’s like my dad always says, ‘You always get more’ wait. ‘You catch more flies with’ um.”
“What does your dad always say?” Allie asks.
“Whatever,” FTDMTTSL said.
“You catch more bees with honey than you do with vinegar?” another girl who equally doesn’t matter says.
“Well that’s what I plan on doing!” Allie says.

Three years ago, Orange County's most famous anarchist pleaded no contest to several felonies relating to his alleged attempt to blow up La Habra's Moose Lodge in 2002. On Wednesday, the California Supreme Court overturned Matthew Gordon "Rampage" Lamont's conviction, arguing that police violated Lamont's civil rights when they searched his car on April 20 of that year.

If April 20 sounds like a familiar anniversary, it is, although not in a good way. That night at the Moose Lodge, members of an Orange County chapter of the white supremacist group Aryan Nations were rumored to be celebrating Adolf Hitler's birthday. The planned birthday party never happened. Instead, just blocks away, Long Beach police detectives pulled Lamont and a friend over as they drove up and down the street, seemingly lost or unsure of whether to proceed with their alleged plan to blow up the building.

Inside the vehicle police found a plastic jug full of gasoline, sponges soaked with flammable liquid and embeded with candles, several cigarette lighters, rubber gloves, a bandana, and "anarchist materials and "articles on Nazi gatherings." In its ruling yesterday, the Supreme Court found that because "there was no reasonable suspicion that justified the vehicle stop" all evidence used against Lamont "should have been suppressed."

Lamont had already had several run-ins with the law, most notably on May Day 2001, when he and more than 100 other anarchists, many of whom lived in a communal house in Long Beach, descended on the city's downtown area looking for a fight with the cops. Police herded the demonstrators into a corner and blasted them with rubber bullets. Lamont and his cohorts were all charged with misdemeanor charges of failure to disperse.

The last time the Weekly spoke with Lamont, he was in jail awaiting trial for the Moose Lodge incident. He refused to say why he was driving near the lodge, but claimed the police had been spying on him for weeks. (Police reports reveal that Long Beach cops indeed had been following Lamont and other anarchists ever since they picked up internet chatter among activists planning either to protest the Aryan Nations event or do something more sinister.

Since Lamont received a three-year prison sentence three years ago, the fact that the California Supreme Court has now overturned his conviction probably comes too late to see him released from prison early.

No word yet on his current wherabouts, but if his last public comments are any indication, Rampage will continue to live up to his nickname. "The bottom line is this country has to change," he said in an interview at the Orange County jail, where he converted to Islam and slept in a private cell thanks to death threats from white inmates. "Time is running out for America," Rampage predicted. "We're a whole new generation. Me, I'm prepared to go to prison. I'm prepared to die. I'm only 21 years old. I have plenty of life to throw away."

Apparently building a six lane, 16 mile long toll road right down the middle of an environmentally protected state park would break some hippy-dippy law from way back in the 70s, according to the eco-nazis at the California Coastal Commission via the Los Angeles Times.

The commission released a 236-page analysis that surprisingly contradicts a previous report by the toll-road builders, the Transportation Corridor Agencies. The coastal commission seems to think the road would lead to "widespread violations of state environmental laws designed to protect endangered species, natural resources and recreational opportunities," while the TCA's scientists concluded the road would actually bolster the park by creating a freeway from which to shower the environment with candy colored rainbow syrup, thereby making it better.

It makes one wonder how two teams of scientists could look at the same data and come up with two wildly divergent views. Let's see, the coastal commission is a government-created agency that is charged with preserving the natural beauty of California's hundreds of miles of coast. TCA is a private interest-created entity charged with expanding suburban development into otherwise remote areas and fill the lands with the splendor of more McMansions and Home Depots.

Not sure whether this latests development will lead to more delays. The $53 million per mile road has already had it's construction pushed back from an originally rosy start date of this summer to an increasingly wilty indefinite future date. Currently TCA hopes to begin in 2011.

Photo: LAT

Links to come--am boarding a plane to El Paso...

While OC Weekly cover boy Monsignor John Urell is in Canada to presumably get his rocks back in order, the Jeff Andrade matter trudges on. The latest twist: Urell’s lawyer is busy fighting a subpoena filed against the two of them filed by Newport Beach attorney John Manly.

In a letter dated Sept. 25, Urell personal attorney Peter Hennessey tries to plead innocence and ignorance as to why he should be deposed. “I am not aware of any legitimate basis supporting your trial subpoena of a non-party witness’s attorney,” Hennessey wrote to Manly. “I was not a witness to any of the events involved in the underlying litigation.” As for Urell, Hennessey repeats what he has told the world—“unavailable for medical reasons.”

Manly, on his part, noted Hennessey’s inconsistent public chronology of Urell’s breakdown with the truth in his response. “Your statements are the only explanation as to why Msgr. Urell has gone to Southdown [Gustavo’s note: the Canadian psychological facility where Urell sought treatment for “acute anxiety”] in contempt of court,” Manly wrote. “As such, you are a witness in the case.”

But Manly doesn’t end there. He alludes to a previous post of mine in stating that “the OC Weekly’s description of your story which involved ‘cheese grits’ was most apt.

“On a personal note,” Manly concludes, “I fully expect this type of third-rate transparently bogus cover story from the Catholic hierarchy and those who have made a living defending pedophiles. I am shocked that your firm would permit itself to be involved in this perversion of the civil discovery process.”

The pool of 100 questions unveiled today to be used on naturalization tests starting in October 2008 doesn't look all that different from the 96 questions they're replacing. At least not $6.5 million different, the reported sum spent on the revamp.

Some hard questions were simplified – applicants had to name both of their state senators and all three branches or government on the old test and just one of each on the new – while some of the more random fact type questions have merely been replaced by equally arbitrary ones. "Who said, 'Give me liberty or give me death?'" and "Who wrote the Star-Spangled Banner?" are out, "When is the last day to file your income tax forms?" and "Name one of the writers of the Federalist papers" are in. And lest we forget: "What major event happened on September 11, 2001, in the United States?"

The two metropolitan areas with the largest number of newly naturalized citizens were not included in a four month pilot program fine-tuning the new questions; 65,813 people naturalized in the Los Angeles-Long Beach-Orange County area and 132,326 in greater New York City in 2006, according to Department of Homeland Security figures. Of the ten pilot regions, Miami and Denver had the most naturalizing citizens for 2006, ranking third and 26th respectively.

Some critics of the new questions perceive a shift toward conceptual rather than factual answers that adds an additional burden on poor immigrants with limited education or English fluency on top of a recent fee increase. In July, naturalization application fees were raised to $675 from $405. But maybe those critics didn't look at all the questions. If anything, I'd say the test looks easier and pass rates in the pilot group rose to 94% versus 84% with the old questions. See both the old and new questions here and judge for yourself. Whether the test actually measures anything useful is another story.

It's always tedious to hear health-freaks go on and on about the benefits of this or that special shake. But now there's a drink that gets right to the point, putting you to sleep all by itself.

(I thought such a thing already existed, and was called "whiskey." The things you learn in this job...)

So behold "dreamerz," billed as an "All Natural Sleep Beverage" and a "Dietary Supplement." The product's officially trademarked tagline is "Good Night, Better Day!", and the flavor, of course, is "chocolate s'nores." The allegedly active ingredients are "Lactium" (a registered trademark of some kind of milk protein), Stevia leaf, and Melatonin. Also, it's sweetened with "crystallized cane juice" rather than high-fructose corn syrup, which seems like a good thing.

Just in case you're stupid, the package also bears the following warning:

"Caution: May cause drowsiness."

Free crap photo behind the cut...

This weekend, get your butts to the Edwards University theater to check out GREAT WORLD OF SOUND.

I had the chance to see this earlier in the year at the L.A. Film Fest. Pardon the self-plagiarism, but what I said at the time bears repeating:

The success of Borat: Long-Ass "Funny" Subtitle I Get Really Tired Of Seeing Written Out In Full By Other Critics really seems to be inspiring people to do their own hybrid-reality movies -- as mentioned, I saw one like it the other day, and now this, a movie about “music producers” who hold auditions for their record label that are a total scam. Though most of the film is scripted, the bulk of the auditions are real -- ads were placed, bands were heard, and the two lead actors tried to hustle them and get them to sign. Afterwards, told what was up, the musicians pretty much got it and agreed to be in the movie anyway. What’s striking is that they could just as easily all be character actors, since they hit the same acting tone as the actual cast.

The movie opens with hopeless nerd Martin (Pat Healy) getting a job interview for what seems to be a radio job, but turns out to be music production -- sort of. The idea is to audition new talent, and sign them, but not just the good ones. See, part of the pitch is that while the company, “Great World of Sound,” pays certain studio costs, etc., the artist has to pay a percentage themselves, upfront. And it soon becomes clear that everything beyond that is a con, all to get the checks, which are to be made out to “GWS,” the company acronym but also the president’s initials.

Healy teams up with a black guy named Clarence (Kene Holliday), which allows them to play good cop/bad cop with black singers (Clarence pitching them the idea that his white boss doesn’t get their music, but he does, etc.). The actors mostly improvised their pitches, and come up with some great lines, like “When Jesus walked on water, the first thing he did was get out of the boat!” Holliday, it turns out, was both the voice of Roadblock in the G.I. Joe cartoon, and Matlock’s sidekick Tyler. I wouldn’t have guessed, but his performance here is one of the year’s best. Healy’s role is less flashy, but he’s no slouch -- deadpan delivery of dialogue like “I’m not gonna drink because I just brushed my teeth” is his forte.

With David Gordon Green’s name attached, you might expect a Southern flavor, and you get it...the action mostly takes place around Charlotte, NC, and there’s an overwhelming sense of rural economic desperation as a backdrop. And it doesn’t subside. This may be a comedy, but there’s no guarantee of a happy ending.

At one point, Martin says to a would-be critic, “I’m self-deprecating. All you gotta do is watch.” That applies to the movie as well. Before it’s done, it goes to surprisingly dark places -- nothing violent or anything, just really questionable moral choices that don’t get answered in a tidy fashion.

But beyond all that, it’s really freakin’ funny. So go see it.

OMFG. Britney f'n Spears graced our fair county, dropping in on a fashion show at Sutra Lounge in Costa Mesa last night.

Check out the TMZ video here.

• Heil, err, Mansoor! Let’s see . . . Costa Mesa Mayor Allan Mansoor let people with the Minutemen Project stand during a 2006 city council meeting to show their support for his police-immigration plan. Later, at the same public meeting, other people lead by Benito Acosta attempted to stand in the audience to show their opposition. Though he didn’t rule the first demonstration out of order, Mansoor declared, “I will not allow it,” regarding the second. That seems pretty fair. And so what that Mansoor turned off the public microphone when Acosta spoke. It pisses me off that Acosta thinks he’s entitled to address the council for the same three minutes allotted to everyone else. Brianna Bailey at the Daily Pilot reports this morning that Mansoor took the witness stand on Thursday as our government attempts to teach Acosta a lesson about who is boss. He’s on trial for two counts of disrupting a public meeting. Mansoor, a sheriff’s deputy when he’s not playing mayor, claimed Acosta was physically removed from the council chambers by a gang of police officers because he feared the tiny fellow’s words might incite an “assault” on City Hall. “I was looking at the volatility of the situation and trying to keep order in the council chambers,” Mansoor told jurors. Hold on for a second. Let me grab my copy of the Constitution. Oh, yes. Here it is. The 28th Amendment: "Citizens expressing opinions against the government should expect their public-speaking right to be abridged in the name of order." If convicted by a Newport Beach jury, Acosta faces as much as six months in jail.
• Times OC neglect: Yesterday, we prayed it wasn’t an accident that the Times put Orange County-related articles in its online Orange County news section. Today, we learned our prayers went unanswered. Three of the top four stories on the OC page involve Los Angeles jail overcrowding, the Phil Spector murder case and Compton Creek in LA County. There was another online OC story (by reporter Tony Barboza), but the Times wizards oddly didn’t put it in the OC news section.
• Perfect Timing: Now that the summer beach crowds are gone, the Daily Pilot has launched a “four-part series on Newport Beach lifeguards and the unique challenges they face in the name of public safety.” Reporter Kelly Strodl found veteran lifesaver Josh Van Egmond, who says he’s witnessed some nasty water injuries when people walking along the beach were nabbed by powerful waves and dragged over rocks out to sea. People—especially those from the Inland Empire—just don't appreciate the strength of the Pacific. Anyhow, Van Egmond offered up this advice to body surfers: “Always keep your hands in front of you,” otherwise you’ll end up like a “human scorpion” spinning upside-down in the water. Oh, the memories . . .
• The Face of Crouch in HD! Broadcasting and Cable magazine reports that Orange County-based Trinity Broadcasting Network has converted about 90 percent of its 34 stations to digital. Trinity’s Paul Crouch Jr. compares the five-year project to eating an elephant. “How do you eat an elephant?" he asked. "One bite at a time. We're almost done." I’m quite excited about this because I want to see high-definition images of Jan Crouch. No, really. According to the story, God’s TV network plans to begin HD broadcasting early next year.
• We're From the Government, and We're Here to Help: It's taken FIVE public meetings, but the Orange County Board of Supervisors is poised to change the name of one of its departments. Depending on a majority of the supes, Harbors, Beaches and Parks (HBP) will become simply OC Parks on Tueday. The change is part of "a strategic plan" for the county officials who actually hired outside consultants Moore Iacofano Goltsman Inc. for the deal. Bureaucrats claim the new name "will support more efficient and effective operation of the county's regional park system." Staff boldly claim the name move hasn't and won't cost taxpayers a penny. Of course, at a minimum, the change will require thousands of boxes of new letterhead and signs. What's that noise? Must be cheers from local print shops.

We here at the OC Weekly have been accused of many things over the years: libel, slander (whenever one of us appear on radio), lies, Commie-sympathizing, Reconquista cheerleading, selling ours souls to New Times, and—most memorably—"Satan instrument,"what Congressman Robert K. Dornan called the Weekly's R. Scott Moxley on television. But in my five years at your favorite fish wrap, I don’t recall any writer being accused of plagiarism until this morning.

Cue a long, rambling phone message in my voice box from some guy whom we’ll spare identification for his sake. The man claimed that I stole his idea for writing a column about hole-in-the-wall restaurants. Scratch that—the man claims I stole his idea of calling such places “holes-in-the-wall.” Yes: this man claims he invented the term while writing for something called Fullerton Magazine way back when. He ended the message by ominously warning me that I’ll “have to live with myself” for my Jayson Blair act.

Where to begin…how about with the etymology of the term? Fullerton was just a Spanish land grant back them, buddy. As for my column: the man who popularized reviewing hole-in-the-wall restaurants was Pulitzer Prize-winning Jonathan Gold, who's been writing his "Counter Intelligence" column for nearly two decades. I will admit this, though: the name for my "This Hole-in-the-Wall Life" was inspired by another title, but not anything you ever wrote, Fullerton Magazine hack. It's a play on the stirring Kitchen Sink drama This Sporting Life. Last time I checked, Doctor Who didn't have a problem with the title--why should you?

Heal the Bay's annual summer report card for California beaches is in and 96 of the 104 monitored spots throughout the county earned "A's". The non-profit environmental group surveyed data from local health agencies from Memorial Day through Labor Day and averaged the results to come up with a grade for summer 2007.

The West End at Baby Beach in Dana Point, Huntington State Beach at Magnolia Street, and North Beach at Doheny racked up solid "D's" while Poche Beach in San Clemente got the only "F" in the county.

The grades only consider bacteria levels – including from fecal waste - so trash strewn and chemically toxic beaches can still get a pass. Happy swimming.

• Rodman Fouled? Did an unidentified woman who claims Dennis Rodman assaulted her on Sept. 16 punch the ex-NBA star in his chest, demand to see his genitals and give Rodman her telephone number before complaining to police? Yes, according to Darren Prince, Rodman’s manager. He tells Brianna Bailey at the Daily Pilot, “Why would she give him her phone number if he sexually assaulted her? Dennis is really upset.” The woman told sheriff’s deputies that Rodman slapped her ass at Hennessey’s Tavern in Dana Point. The blow allegedly left a “major mark.” Sheriff’s spokesman Jim Amormino says detectives haven’t been able to locate Rodman, who owns homes in Miami and Newport Beach, for an interview. Perhaps he’s hiding on his 50-foot yacht, Sexual Chocolate, which has often been spotted in Newport Harbor.
• High School Mystery: Why did officials paint over a historic, 1972 mural at Los Amigos High School in Fountain Valley? Principal Connie Van Luit tells Cindy Carcamo at the Reg that the students demanded its removal because it was old and ugly. But students are telling a different story, one that casts their principal as a fibber. They say the mural was in fine shape and that Van Luit ordered it painted over before asking for student input. Leston Trueblood, who graduated from the school in 1972, sees a crime. “To me, it’s an act of vandalism.” Students say that without the mural, the school looks like “a prison.”
• Times Finds OC: Call it a tease. Call it a miracle. Call it anything you want. After an embarrassing stint of neglect, the Times finally put Orange County-related articles in its online Orange County news section. Congratulations! We’re crossing our fingers and hoping it wasn’t an accident.
• Game On! Eric Carpenter at the Register writes today about the “growing debate over whether randomly testing public-school student for drugs is an effective deterrent against substance abuse” in the Orange Unified School District. According to Carpenter, the district is one of five local school agencies considering a new program that would allow parents to volunteer their children for drug screening at school. In one plan, a busted student would receive counseling not punishment. The issue has fueled debate over the effectiveness of such testing. Indeed, one expert told Carpenter that he fears some students will view testing as a game and seek to use drugs and alcohol without detection.
• He Leaped to His Death on the I-5: Phillip John Vespia pulled a car over on the 55 freeway ramp and leaped 40 feet onto the southbound I-5 on Sunday morning. The 44-year-old left no note before his body was repeatedly struck by traffic. The suicide blocked traffic for at least three hours. Reporters Greg Hardesty and Ryan Hammill discovered that Vespia, a divorced mechanic and father of an 11-year-old daughter, lived a troubled life that included an addiction to painkillers and a prison stint for manslaughter. Yet, Vespia was liked by his friends, who said they’ll remember him for always stopping to help stranded motorists. Very sad.
• Something to Do Tonight: The Bowers Museum of Cultural Art in Santa Ana is hosting an "Introduction to Japanese Sake" at 7 tonight. Meher McArthur, specialist in the art and culture of East Asia, will explore the history of sake, how and where it is made, drinking etiquette, and its importance in Japanese culture. Learn the difference between regular and premium, unfiltered and unpasteurized, as well as the best ways to drink sake — hot or cold. Space is limited. Prepayment is required. Call (714) 567-3679 for reservations. 2002 N. Main St., Santa Ana, (714) 567-3600; www.bowers.org.

Click the photo for pictures from an OC paranormal investigation.

Upon meeting Dan Mewhinney, you would never guess that the fit, brunette, blue-eyed man with the gap-toothed smile has powers beyond your wildest imagination. He believes he possesses the ability to speak to spirits and demons from beyond the grave.

"People have no idea what it is like," Dan says of his gift. "It is very hard to find support. People think you're crazy."

Indeed they do. When Dan was just 14, his parents sought to have him medicated to control the voices he says he's experienced since infancy.

Dan claims to have been born under a "veil," or, with a portion of the embryonic sac surrounding his head. This, he says, allows him to be extra sensitive to the world around him and may possibly be the source of his powers.

He recalls hearing the voices for as long as he can remember. It was only when he began insisting that his imaginary friends were real that his parents thought he was mentally ill. They took him to a therapist and eventually sought serious mental help at which point he was put on Lithium to stop the voices and visions. Dan claims it was only when he recorded the voices and played them to his doctor that people began taking him seriously. Thusly, he stopped taking the medication and began perfecting his skills.

Dan is clairaudient, meaning he can hear voices and sounds that others around him cannot hear. He believes these are the voices of spirits that have not yet crossed to the other side.

Lucky for these spirits, Dan can help them cross via the portal located in his torso. The spirits are guided through by the angels that accompany him on his every move.

"I am a walking portal," Dan says. "There is a portal in my midsection that I use to cross people into the light. With the help of my guardian angels of course."

I ran to my office window this morning to check for locusts swarming into Orange County, but saw only clear skies.

I closed my eyes and rubbed them, thinking they were playing tricks.

I even asked colleague Rich Kane if we'd landed in another universe.

In today's paper, the OC Register published photographs of numerous self-styled "naughty" clothes, including one on the front page: the top half of a woman wearing--are you sitting, Betty Lou?--only a bra!

Isn't anything sacred anymore?

Another Reg picture, taken from behind a female model, reveals the woman's asscheeks in a manner that might have gotten a rise out of long-dead Register founder and right-wing prude R.C. Hoiles.

So what?

Well, for years Reg management has raised its collective nose in superiority over the Weekly on the racy factor. Indeed, they've strenuously attempted to claim (especially when they've been trounced on a news story) this paper's journalism isn't trustworthy because T&A graces our pages.

But here's the nasty problem the Reg faces: advertisers would rather reach a young, alive media market--like the one dominated by the Weekly. From what we're told, the average Reg reader gums his food and was born sometime between the Paleolithic and Neolithic eras.

How to attract younger readers?

Under the guise of reporting about an underwear show by Agent Provocateur at South Coast Plaza, the daily paper carried a whopping 10 "racy"--again, their word--photos of underwear models.

We're not necessarily bitching that the Reg boys are shameless hypocrites. Indeed, we welcome the paper's more titillating art. Welcome to this century! Besides, it will make it easier to stomach Dillow's ugly mug.

On Sept. 17, the anti-war ladies from Code Pink visited the D.C. office of Rep. Dana Rohrabacher (R-Skipped Vietnam Combat Duty) to present him with a certificate inducting the congressman into their "Hall of Shame." The back of the pink piece of paper detailed an exit strategy for the war for politicians like Rohrabacher, who the activists believe could use some direction.

From the Code Pink website:

Congressman Rohrabacher has earned induction into the Hall of Shame for:

His blind support of the occupation of Iraq;
His complete disregard of the Constitution;
His repeated attacks on anyone who disagrees with him;
His unflagging support of TORTURE.

Behind the cut: A YouTube clip uploaded just yesterday featuring the visit to Rohrabacher's office, and some "lowlight" Rohrabacher quotes Code Pink has collected.

• The Fourth Reich: Way before there was “Don’t Taser me, dude!” there was Benito Acosta, arrested by Costa Mesa police after he allegedly spoke too long during a January 2006 city council meeting. Acosta opposed training local police as INS agents, a pet project of Mayor Allan Mansoor. A right-wing sheriff’s deputy when he’s not playing a right-wing city official, Mansoor turned off the public microphone, and police used physical violence to drag Acosta, a tiny fellow, from the hearing. Anyhow, the city is prosecuting Acosta for violating a new W-era law: opposing the government in public. Of course, I’m kidding. The government found something else to use against him: violating "propriety of conduct" while addressing government officials and disorderly conduct at a public meeting—both misdemeanors. The Daily Pilot reports that jury selection begins today in Harbor Court.
• Another Quagmire: In case you missed it, Jonathan Lansner—the dean of OC business journalism—slammed Federal Reserve officials, or “knuckleheads,” for not understanding the depth of the real-estate crisis. “It was clear as winter weather in mid-summer,” Lansner wrote. “What took these folks so long to see this coming?” Meanwhile, the Register columnist dug into the local numbers and found that August had “the slowest-selling five business days” since 1995. He’s calling the mess a “quagmire.” How many quagmires can we have during the Bush administration?
• More Mayhem in Caronaland: Just days after the sheriff planned to end an Orange County jail-system lockdown, deputies reinstituted the restrictions to curb another round of gang violence, according to Kimberly Edds, who seems to write about a fourth of the Register each day. Edds says that 3,000 inmates are stuck in their cells after a Sunday gang brawl in—of all places—the Theo Lacy Jail chapel. Two men were injured. Until deputies say otherwise, the inmates can’t go outside, shower, or use classes, the dayroom or the chapel.
• Continually Lost in OC: Besides an Orange County homes-sales report, the folks at the Times placed these subjects this morning on their online Orange County news section: LA inmate recants story about LAPD link to murder, construction of an LA Unified building, a New Zealand fugitive wanted by LA officials, an LA City Council debate, an LA Unified magnet school, LA sheriff’s probe and renovations at a San Diego naval facility. If you don’t have any OC news, why have an OC news section?
• Help ID This Retard: The Laguna Beach police are looking for someone who allegedly attacked an innocent 39-year-old man after being tossed from a local business on Sept. 8. The Coastline Pilot says that the bloody victim suffered a broken jaw and was left in the street unconscious. Thankfully, video surveillance cameras at the White House Bar/Restaurant captured images of the suspect (pictured) who is believed to be a white man, 6 feet tall, 230 pounds with a South African accent. If you can help identify him, please call Laguna P.D. at (949) 497-0371.
• Where Does Dana Stand? Congressman Dana Rohrabacher (R-Skipped Vietnam Combat Duty) yelled and screamed when President Bill Clinton’s administration didn’t quickly fork over government documents for congressional inspection when the GOP controlled the House. But will Dana remain consistent and back the Democrats who have requested documents from Blackwater Inc., the federally subsidized Republican-owned company that has a lucrative $600 million contract in Iraq? Given his partisan nature, probably not. Peter Spiegel with the LA Times reports today that W’s State Department has ordered the company “not to disclose information about its Iraq operations without approval” from the president. Representative Henry A. Waxman, a Democrat from LA, says Congress has the right to investigate not only alleged Blackwater abuses, but also Iraqi-government corruption. The private company is tied to two former Rohrabacher congressional aides.
• OC’s Gone Red? While the famed baseball franchise a few miles up the road continues to sink, the “Angels Are Winning Inc.,” according to a column by Ross Newhan in the Times on Tuesday. Newhan credits executive Bill Stoneman and manager Mike Scioscia, a former LA Dodger player, for reversing a decades-old losing mindset that had dominated the franchise. Now, the club consistently wins and a “red tide” has swept “into and over Orange County.” Will it last, or will the team move to St. Louis?

Since my last book-lover-y post, I've read a dozen books. I think. I lose track.

Mostly, I've stuck to my chick-lit-loving roots, but I have strayed here and there. (Don't judge, lest you be sent the bad self-help tomes stacking up in Le Receptionist's office.)

My mom used to marvel at how quickly I read books, yet she always found a way to feed that particular beast. Instead of a mall rat, I was a library rat. And if I finished the stack I brought home weekly before the next trip, I would borrow from my mom's stash. As I grew older, I would put aside books I thought my mom would enjoy.

After the break, you'll find 100 words or less on the titles I've most recently pilfered, in somewhat-random order — and whether Mom should check them out. . .

After something like 3 years, the much anticipated Sex And The City movie finally started filming last week in Manhattan. Here's what we know so far:

1. Charlotte is preggers.
2. Jennifer Hudson has been cast as Carrie's assistant.
3. Samantha is rockin' some serious shoulder pads (pictured).
4. In another scene, Carrie pairs a green floral emsemble with a huge pyramid-studded belt. Ick! that is sooo 1999! (also pictured)

Don't get too excited though, we wont see the fabulous foursome in theaters until mid-2008. Maybe by then that nasty belt will be considered retro.

A slew of in limine motions filed this past week by former Mater Dei High School boys' basketball coach/admitted statutory rapist Jeff Andrade and his former employers, the Catholic Diocese of Orange. Andrade's lawyers moved that any potential jury not hear "in any manner, either directly or indirectly, any reference to documentation, witness testimony and/or opinions that refer to any allegation that [Andrade] was criminally prosecuted or not criminally prosecuted as a result of his sexual relationship with the [15-year-old] plaintiff." The lawyers claim the fact that Andrade wasn't criminally prosecuted is "irrelevant" to the case. Never mind that Andrade originally lied to authorities and received $100,000 for it.

Diocesan lawyers, on the other hand, don't want the public to know about many more things:

Gordon Dillow is best known as the barely readable OC Register columnist and professional boot-licker who's never seen an officer-involved shooting or excessive use of taser on an unarmed suspect he didn't like. But did you know Dillow isn't just a tool of law enforcement--he's also a stooge of the international commie conspiracy to pollute our precious bodily fluids with fluoridation?

That's right, America: Gordon Dillow may seem like a patriotic citizen but when it comes to oral hygiene he's a pinko pure and simple. On Sept. 23, Dillow opined that the Metropolitan Water District's plan to increase the level of fluoride to the county's water supply is a "safe" plan "especially now that 'commies' are out of the picture." Dillow dismissed decades of well-researched reporting that proves that adding fluoride to the water doesn't prevent tooth decay but instead turns innocent civilians into mindless robots.

One of the most important scholarly exposes about fluoridation and the international communist conspiracy comes from the brilliant 1964 Stanley Kubrick movie Dr. Strangelove, which depicted the heroic U.S. Air Force General Jack D. Ripper's efforts to prevent the Russkies from polluting our water with fluoride by starting a nuclear holocaust. ""You know when fluoridation first began? "Nineteen forty-six! How does that coincide with your post-war Commie conspiracy?" Ripper says in the film. "A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That's the way your hard core Commie works."

Dillow evidently finds something funny about Ripper's insights and feels fit in his typically feckless fashion to quote a bunch of so-called "dentists" to argue that fluoridation is a good idea. Dillow quotes a certain Dr. Paul Reggio, an alleged mouth scientist who insists he isn't a "communist or a subversive," as saying that water fluoridation is "extremely beneficial" to oral hygiene.

But isn't that exactly what a communist agent posing as a dentist would say? I'm not a commie, I'm just a dentist. Oh sure! And who better than commie dentists to perpetrate the intellectual and ideological superstructure of the vast pinko plot to pollute our water and betray our precious bodily fluids?

Answer me that, Dillow! Stalinist stool pigeon!

Fortunately for red-blooded Americans, there's a substitute for water-borne fluoride that also happens to be a cure for reading too much Gordon Dillow. It comes from Col. Ripper's own cookbook: grain alcohol and rainwater. Bottoms up!

As lawyers debate whether John Urell--the former point man for the Catholic Diocese of Orange in its sex-abuse fiasco--should return from Canada after failing to finish a deposition, a intrepid Canadian reporter decided to drop in on the monsignor. Mark Bonokoski of the Toronto Sun visited the Southdown Institute and asked if he could speak with Urell.

Click here to find the results!

• Dorm death: Former Newport Beach resident Allan Oakley Hunter III died Saturday morning after jumping from the dorms at NYU, where he was a freshman. His friends, who called him "Trey" and thought he was a genius, recently put together a facebook group dedicated to his memory called "Allan Oakley Hunter III Was and Always Will Be the Smartest Homo Sapiens." So far, 68 memories are posted. (Note: Must be logged in to see.)
• Did the Feds get it wrong? The FBI says that crime is up a smidgeon in Long Beach. But local stats released earlier in the year say otherwise.
• Living vicariously in... Last week, the LAT launched a new participatory journalism video feature starring reporter William Lobdell, in which the guy tries someone else's life on for size weekly. The feature kicked off in Huntington Beach, where Lobdell played lifeguard, jumping off the pier and standing around topless. Today, the Daily Pilot's Sue Thoensen has a video up, documenting her attempts at ballroom dancing. So...who's next? And will former Daily Breeze columnist Corey Levitan claim they've all copied him?
• Foiled for now: Disney's first lawsuit against a cheap housing project in the Anaheim Resort District was dismissed, reports the Times, and the hearings in the second suit are delayed till next June.
• Tonight: Full moon drumming at the Goddess Temple of Orange County. Details here.

• Worm Attack in Dana Point? TMZ reports that Orange County police are investigating former Los Angeles Laker/Chicago Bull Dennis Rodman for allegedly committing a “crime” inside the Hennessy's Tavern near PCH in Dana Point. The celebrity website says Rodman was accused of slapping a female customer's ass so hard it left a “major mark.”

  
  No word on what part of his anatomy did the slapping.

  Jim Amormino, sheriff's spokesman, said dicks in his department's “sex crimes unit” are on the case. Amormino declined to release the woman's name although she was described as a “bar hopper” in one account and a “reveler” in another.



• Maytag Man Visits: Mitt Romney came to Orange County on Sunday and, as Erika Chavez reports in the OC Register, took “a wide-ranging array of questions on everything from Iran to gang violence to constitutional law.” Veteran political reporter and nice guy Martin Wisckol, a Chavez colleague, even got an exclusive interview after the Chapman University event. Question for Wisckol. Are you embarrassed that members of the audience asked tougher questions? We could have checked Romney’s website for the "answers" that you obtained. Via Wisckol, here’s some candid moments from the candidate (pictured): “I value legal immigration. I want to end illegal immigration” and “It's important for us to be able to repel al-Qaida.” Not an impressive day at the office, pal.


• Textbook Scams: State Assemblyman Jose Solorio (D-Santa Ana) has been working with police unions to maintain national security level secrecy for police officers in California, but somehow has found the right side of the issue on school text books. Yep, the fellow who wants to shield cops from public accountability has authored AB 1548, or the College Textbook Transparency Act. Oh, the irony. According to Larry Gordon at the Times, the measure would require that “publishers print on or in new texts a summary of differences between the current and previous editions and provide faculty, upon request, a printed or online list of wholesale prices and edition changes.” College textbook publishers are notoriously slimy, charging outrageous prices to students. Schwarzenegger has until Oct. 12 to act on the bill.


• Pet the Rich Kitty: Roll Call recently named the wealthiest members of the U.S. Congress and declared Loretta Sanchez (D-Garden Grove) No. 59 with $5.68 million. Dwarfing Sanchez and everyone else in Congress is California Democrat Jane Harman. She’s got $216.11 million in net worth thanks to a $44 million bump in her bank account during the last year. Senator Dianne Feinstein (D-CA) is ranked seventh with $50.5 million in assets. John Campbell, Irvine's car salesman turned congressman, weighed in with $13.5 million. Rep. Gary Miller has $10.4 million largely from (questionable?) land dealings. Dana Rohrabacher (R-Skipped Vietnam Combat Duty) didn't make the list. He borrows money from lobbyists like convict Jack Abramoff when he needs funds.


• Rest Your Voice Boxes & Tune Your Bullhorns: October 11 is supposed to be the big California Coastal Commission hearing regarding the proposed Foothill South Toll Road through San Onofre State Beach. Real estate developers want to build tens of thousands of new McMansions and need a new major thoroughfare to get buyers there. Public relations operatives for the builders are claiming the road is good public policy because it will reduce traffic. Okay, you can stop laughing now. Go to the Crowne Plaza Los Angeles Harbor Hotel at 601 S. Palos Verdes Street in San Pedro. Contact Robin Everett at robin.everett@sierraclub.org if you’d like to catch a free ride.


• Let the Icebergs Melt! Larry Mantle, host of AirTalk on 89.3 FM, talks today to entertaining political scientist Bjorn Lomborg about his new book, Cool It: The Skeptical Environmentalist's Guide to Global Warming. Lomborg, a conservative, made Bill Maher’s HBO show and was a hoot. The global warming threat is a bad joke, according to Lomborg.

• Doctor No: The public hospital crisis has placed nearly two dozen private hospitals in Los Angeles and Orange counties “in dire financial straits and in danger of bankruptcy or closure,” according to a depressing report in today’s Times. Reporters Daniel Costello and Susannah Rosenblatt found that the local healthcare system is so overburdened that “even a few other hospitals close or reduce costly critical-care services, it could mean longer ambulance rides to hospitals, additional delays in emergency rooms and less access to care, especially for poor and uninsured people.” Industry analysts tell the Times that Integrated Healthcare Holdings Inc., which operates four OC hospitals and has defaulted on its debt “could go bankrupt in the near future.” Don’t worry. Mitt Romney says “market forces” will insure and supply adequate care to everyone.
• Give me some pho: A few days after the Weekly’s piece on the same subject, Martin Wisckol at the Register reports on the emergence of Little Saigon as a “major political force” thanks get-out-the-vote efforts by state Assemblyman Van Tran. In a special election to the board of supes this year, Vietnamese voters, who represent just six percent of OC voters, accounted for 45 percent of the absentee ballots in the race. Anyhow, Wisckol goes on to claim that Tran, an extremely partisan Republican, has created a bipartisan coalition. Okay. We’ll see. But he also added this tidbit: “Party membership can seem superfluous among Vietnamese Americans.” Really? Is that why Republican presidential candidates, including the retard now in the White House, flock to Little Saigon every four years? I’ve attended each rally and observed the locals angrily chanting down Democrats as communists. In fact, I've witnessed them throw punches and spit on people who aren't Republicans.
• Best Newspaper Photo of the Weekend: Bob Chamberlin at the Los Angeles Times nabbed an incredible photograph of the rainbow draped over downtown LA following the rainstorm. It was even more beautiful than the SC victory at the coliseum. And I love the opening paragraph of the accompanying story by Scott Gold, and Rong-Gong Lin II and Francisco Vara-Orta: “An out-of-season storm lashed Southern California with thunderous squalls Saturday and wreaked havoc across the region, trapping cars in mud, sending so much polluted water to the coast that officials warned people not to go into the ocean, and contributing, officials suspect, to traffic accidents that killed at least five people.” What caused the mess? According to the National Weather Service, a mere half inch of rain. Stop laughing, East coasters.
• Answer the Question: A day after the Times broke the latest Norman Hsu scandal story, the Register weighed in without advancing the story an inch. Reporter Cindy Carcamo regurgitated her competitor’s article even to the point of relying on William Bollard, the plaintiff’s attorney. (See Saturday’s Headlines & Surprises in Navel Gazing.) Both newspapers are suggesting that Hsu may have violated a federal law by encouraging potential investors in his operations to contribute to his favorite candidates. The conservative media is all over the story because Hsu was chums with Hillary Clinton and other liberals. But the questions stands: As long as there are no kickbacks, since when did it become illegal to encourage people to contribute to campaigns?
• DeVore Coup? You’ve heard of redistricting shenanigans? Well, here’s a new one: Without any publicity, Orange County’s Irvine area now may have two representatives in the state assembly! Yep, the voters elected Chuck DeVore (pictured). But, according to the Republican Party of Orange County, "Diana DeVore" is the “State Assemblywoman.” At least, that’s how the party listed her occupation on its recent campaign disclosure forms. I’m OK with this as long as the couple isn’t double dipping on the nice state salary and perks. But can Scott Baugh's party committee at least spell her name right? Isn't her name Diane?

Howdy, y'all!

I write to you today from El Paso, Texas, where I've been acting in my friend Zach Passero's movie WICKED LAKE, playing a character named "Half-Idiot." Considering my distinguished stature as a writer and critic, it may or may not surprise you that my character is a compulsively onanistic redneck who makes things pretty uncomfortable for our four female protagonists. I've actually been an actor longer than anything else...but then, so have most of us. Kids playing with their toys are acting, whether they realize it or not.

We've been shooting a lot of interiors in El Paso, and are about to move to Ruidoso, New Mexico, to shoot the actual lake and various exteriors. Among our cast are cult fave Tim Thomerson (TRANCERS, DOLLMAN), Will Keenan (TROMEO AND JULIET, TERROR FIRMER), and my good buddy Justin Stone (MOTEL, GLIMPSE).

We've come a long way since I played the homeless hero "Super-Transient" in Zach's USC student short (I rolled around in dirt and syrup to look authentically scuzzy) -- back then, Chris Sivertson, now a producer, played my best bud, Justin Stone played both a damsel in distress and a killer robot, and cult director Lucky McKee (MAY) was an evil chicken. Now, we're really doing it. Lucky's directing the behind-the-scenes doc, which I expect will be as amazing as the film itself.

Check us out