Wednesday's Headlines & Surprises

  • New pig squealing at the public trough: Barbara Diamond at the Coastline Pilot reports that Laura Parisi--the elected Laguna Beach city treasurer--recently received a 12 percent raise for her public accounting job. Not including government benefits, Parisi’s annual salary is now $69,000 for just 25 hours-a-week of work. But Parisi isn’t happy. According to Diamond, Parisi suggests that she’ll work another 15 hours a week if the taxpayers give her additional $100,000-a-year. “I am money in,” she explained without a hint of ego. “The council is money out.” Parisi is up for relection next year. Which bean counter is going to challenge this loon? And may I help write your campaign attack ads?
  • Quick, check for rotting teeth: Who could be surprised that an admission’s clerk at Cal State Fullerton would be arrested for taking bribes from foreigners seeking enrollment favors? According to Seema Mehta at the LA Times, campus police investigating application irregularities allegedly discovered that Cathleen Louise Smith of Placentia had been secretly assisting foreigners—Arabs, specifically--who paid her thousands of dollars. Smith told the paper that “she considered the money gifts” and pointed out that she is “a widow with three children.” That’s not what makes the story fascinating though. Smith, who has worked at the college since 1981, was also arrested for possession of methamphetamines. She’s 54-friggin-years-old. Isn’t it time that she graduate to prescription addictions like other women her age?
  • Homeland Security Officer Boner Threat Level: Red The sports loving part of our nation is focused on Barry Bond’s homerun hitting streak, but here in Orange County jurors have one of their own: sympathizing with cops arrested for crimes. You may recall the recent case of David Park, the Irvine officer who turned off the GPS on his patrol unit, left his jurisdiction, followed a stripper to a dark section of Laguna Canyon road and somehow left his sperm on her sweater. The mostly-older male jury accepted Park’s golly-gee-she-was-the-one-who-was-horny tale. Yesterday, another OC jury let Eddie Romualdo Miranda off on the most serious charges that he used his Homeland Security powers to molest a Vietnamese woman seeking citizenship. Miranda, an immigration officer, testified that his wife hadn’t been showing him, uh, tenderness for years and so he had been horny. Yes, he said in his deep cigarette voice with a heavy Spanish accent: he was always “flirtatious” with females who were, uh, fortunate enough to have him as their case worker. He’s toiled on their behalf, he noted several times on the witness stand. Because of the Michael Lamb white supremacist-death penalty decision, I was forced to skedaddle to another courtroom before Miranda, 60, explained what part of his agency’s official manual required that he kiss, fondle and seek a blow job from a woman’s awaiting INS approval. Defense attorney Jack Early claimed the women who testified against Miranda had all desired the petite officer sexually. Guess what? Jurors must have agreed. They let him off on the felony charge. I’m sure they felt better slapping Miranda simply with misdemeanor assault.
  • Shut Up and Salute, Dude: This summer Vietnam War veteran Jack Cameron Frost tried to get disability benefits assistance from Congressman Dana Rohrabacher (R-Skipped Vietnam War Combat Duty) and now faces a felony charge: strong-arm robbery, according to reporter Michael Alexander. What did Cameron allegedly rob? His own case file. What weapon did he allegedly used? Well, he’s a big fellow and that frightened the congressman’s staffers. What caused the ruckus? The 60-year-old Huntington Beach resident believes the staffers share the congressman’s happy hour work habits. He told Alexander, "They were arrogant, uncooperative, showed little respect, and were not really concerned about my issues." Kathleen Hollingsworth--Rohrabacher’s district director--told police she felt intimidated by Frost. It really pisses me off when injured veterans make demands on Rohrabacher (pictured above). Don’t they understand he’s busy protecting our troops in Iraq?
  • And finally, for W: Starting at 5:30 tonight at the Old Towne Orange Circle, Code Pink activists plan to protest the war in Iraq. Also, there will a 4 p.m. "Silent Vigil for All War Victims" at the southwest corner of Moulton Parkway and Lake Forest Drive in Laguna Hills.

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