MTV says it puts Newport High males "in the hole"

Matt Coker, our beloved ex-colleague who is now editor at the Sacramento News & Review, couldn't hide his contempt for MTV's world-(in)famous Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County. I'd swear his right eye would uncontrollably twitch at the mention of it.

The last season of MTV's Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County really sucked. I'd rather freebase crack than watch those petty, talentless-on-the-verge-of-incarceration juveniles. Did the show have to feature people who grunt, smirk or whine at every situation?

Now, the producers have moved the show slightly north to Newport Harbor High. As a crime reporter, I know this means one thing: increased business.

Newport Beach is where Gregory Scott Haidl (nincompoop son of a nincompoop now-ex-Orange County assistant sheriff) and two pals video taped themselves gang raping a 16-year-old girl they'd gotten drunk and high in July 2002. After the girl passed out, they repeatedly shoved an apple-juice can, Snapple bottle, lit cigarette and a pool stick into her lower orifices—laughing, high-fiving, dancing as they filmed. They prized the 21-minute trophy, showing it to buddies before losing it. Someone gave the video to police.

Thanks to Daddy Haidl's large fortune (used government car sales; pal of Sheriff Michael S. Carona), the three defendants fought prosecutors for more than three years. The girl had raped them, they claimed.

Don't laugh. CBS' 48 Hours bought their bull. And then tried to sell it to the nation. Sadly, they've never apologized for their incompetence.

Thanks to prosecutor Chuck Middleton, a jury eventually convicted the trio. In hopes of a soft punishment like probation, the rapists finally wept and admitted their nasty crimes. It didn't work. They live in prison now. Read a flashback here.

That's one ugly backdrop to the new season.

MTV's commercial for the upcoming series is here.