Totally Stokked

Beautiful Orange County high school student athlete gets inappropriate attention from voyeuristic losers all over the Internet.

Beautiful Orange County high school student athlete's father is understandably upset about it.

Beautiful Orange County high school student athlete's father makes his living defending Irvine cops who ejaculate on women during traffic stops.

Where to start?

Al Stokke's daughter, Allison, 18, is an extraordinary athlete, to say the least. She won a California state championship her freshman year, has broken four national pole-vaulting records and recently earned an athletic scholarship to UC Berkeley.

Despite her athletic accomplishments, it's her stunning good looks that have fueled a viral explosion of photos and fan pages on the Internet as of late, and like any good father, Stokke is a little concerned about it: "We're keeping a watchful eye," he said in an interview with The Orange County Register. "We have to be smart and deal with it the best we can. It's not something that you can just make go away."

That's reasonable. Here's another Stokke quote for your consideration: "Do you place a pole between your legs and go up and down?" Oh, my. His daughter's a pole-vaulter, isn't she?

He asked the above of a stripper named Lucy during the trial of Irvine police officer David Alex Park, who pulled her over in the early-morning hours, and, well, ejaculated on her.

You can't say Stokke's not good at what he does. Park was acquitted, despite the DNA evidence.

Stokke also served as defense attorney in the infamous Haidl Three gang rape case, in which an unconscious 16-year-old girl was gang raped and prodded with foreign objects of varying size and shape. In that case, our R. Scott Moxley reported that Stokke argued, "There's [no pain] that is felt because she was unconscious."

A man who has repeatedly tried to shift the blame of sexual assault onto the victims has a daughter who is now being perved over by millions of guys on the Internet.

The universe is a funny place sometimes, isn't it?