OC High School Principal Guilty of Weenie Whacking

The Orange County district attorney's office reports this afternoon that former El Modena High School principal Brent Bailey has been convicted of masturbating in a Fullerton public park.

Bailey, 56, must have forgotten that weenie whacking in public is considered lewd.

After Bailey changed his plea to guilty today, Superior Court Judge Douglas Hatchimonji sentenced him to three years' informal probation, ordered him to stay away from Brea Dam Trails park and is forcing him to attend the Sex Offenders Solutions program. He won't, however, register as a sex offender. Public masturbation is a misdemeanor.

Police say that on the afternoon of Dec. 27, 2006, Bailey stood on a trail in the crowded park and began touching himself when he saw another man approach. Bailey then removed his penis from his pants and masturbated, according to Senior Deputy District Attorney Rebecca Olivieri. The man, an undercover cop, asked Bailey if he wanted to go to the parking lot with him. No telling what Bailey hoped for during his Christmas break, but he ended up cited and released.

Police officers throughout Orange County have historically conduct undercover operations at public parks. Shopping mall restrooms also seem to attract public masturbation spectacles. You'd be amazed at how many horny men the cops nab.

Our apologies to Oscar Mayer.