Conservative Bush pal calls for launch of WW4 with Iran bombing

Categories: Moxley

Invest Your SonsDan Chmielewski at first noted this editorial in yesterday's Wall Street Journal:

The Case for Bombing Iran
I hope and pray that President Bush will do it.
By Norman Podhoretz

According to Podhoretz, President George W. Bush is "a man who knows evil when he sees it." In this case, the evil is Iran, says Podoretz. He argues that the two current wars in Iraq and Afghanistan must be extended to Iran ASAP.

"It now remains to be seen whether this president, battered more mercilessly and with less justification than any other in living memory, and weakened politically by the enemies of his policy in the Middle East in general and Iraq in particular, will find it possible to take the only action that can stop Iran from following through on its evil intentions both toward us and toward Israel," writes Podhoretz. "As an American and as a Jew, I pray with all my heart that he will."

Such a battle should have a name, he said: "I call this new war World War IV."

Podhoretz thinks WW3 was the Cold War. A former Reagan Administration official, he has pushed for aggressive U.S. military actions around the world for four decades.

Kids, what do you think of reinstituting the military draft?

Down and Out in Huntington Beach

Categories: Main

HB Elmer, Sans KnifeHuntington Beach police have a major break in the duck-stabbing incident first reported yesterday. "Lucky," so named by workers at the Wetlands and Wildlife Care Center, was first seen with a knife stuck in her back last Thursday, and captured Sunday. Although no arrests have been made, police say a 14-year-old boy is the prime suspect.

Upon reading this story I immediately knew the culprit was an adolescent male. Let's be honest here, the crime fits the profile, doesn't it? Who else but a 14-year-old boy would do something so profoundly stupid? There really is no lowlier creature than the 14-year-old boy, scientifically categorized as the Masterbatorius freshmanus.

Consider for a moment the plight of the 14-year-old boy: no money, no job, no car, no prospects, and has only a handful of friends, at best, of equal or lesser stature with which to commiserate. His stratospheric level of sexual frustration is eclipsed only by his adolescent unattractiveness. His social status is nil. Even the other freshman girls don't want him as they are after his older, more physically robust, employed, and mobile senior competitors. The 14-year-old boy is at the absolute bottom of the American social hierarchy with years to wait before being able to climb it.

I feel bad for the duck, I do, but looking beyond the obvious and frankly disturbing warning-signs of future homicidal behavior, I've got to think that the poor guy was at the end of his freshman rope, hopeless and rejected, broke and nerdy, pimpled and greasy – when he got quacked at – and just decided to stab that god damn duck.

Or maybe he was just hungry. Either way, the kid is at a crossroads. He will either realize that his status will soon improve if he just sticks it out and get's some help, or he will buy a gun and become the Orange County Elmer Fudd – unless of course it's wabbitt season.

OC High School Principal Guilty of Weenie Whacking

The Orange County district attorney's office reports this afternoon that former El Modena High School principal Brent Bailey has been convicted of masturbating in a Fullerton public park.

Bailey, 56, must have forgotten that weenie whacking in public is considered lewd.

After Bailey changed his plea to guilty today, Superior Court Judge Douglas Hatchimonji sentenced him to three years' informal probation, ordered him to stay away from Brea Dam Trails park and is forcing him to attend the Sex Offenders Solutions program. He won't, however, register as a sex offender. Public masturbation is a misdemeanor.

Police say that on the afternoon of Dec. 27, 2006, Bailey stood on a trail in the crowded park and began touching himself when he saw another man approach. Bailey then removed his penis from his pants and masturbated, according to Senior Deputy District Attorney Rebecca Olivieri. The man, an undercover cop, asked Bailey if he wanted to go to the parking lot with him. No telling what Bailey hoped for during his Christmas break, but he ended up cited and released.

Police officers throughout Orange County have historically conduct undercover operations at public parks. Shopping mall restrooms also seem to attract public masturbation spectacles. You'd be amazed at how many horny men the cops nab.

Our apologies to Oscar Mayer.

Thursday's Haul

Categories: News Roundups
  • Adios, chocolate! The Hershey Company's closing its California plant -cutting 575 jobs- and opening shop in Mexico.
  • It's painful to be pretty: Athlete Allison Stokke of Newport Harbor High has her eye on the pole vaulting state championships. But her unwanted online following would rather she play with a different sort of pole.
  • Hate speech or free speech? UC Irvine's chancellor tries to pacify the Jewish community.
  • Tsk Tsk: A 14-year-old boy is a suspect in yesterday's duck-stabbing story.
  • Suckered by PR? Apparently the Daily Pilot thinks it's news when Ace Hardware hands out fire extinguishers.
  • Leaving so soon? The guy who was supposed to become superintendent of the troubled San Juan Capistrano Unified School District in July has changed his mind...after all the crap the last supe stirred up, who can blame him?
Image: LAT

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery

Categories: Main

palms.jpgLike most people over the age of 14, I was pleasantly surprised when Fox canceled "The OC." But I must say, I was downright shocked to discover that desert residents are genuinely excited about the new Palm Springs-based, teeny-bopper television soap opera "Hidden Palms."

The Desert Sun newspaper wrote a little dilly about the new show debuting tonight, and how it is generating a positive buzz around the community - despite it's admittance that Palm Springs is a shit hole.

"'Hidden Palms,' the long-awaited CW series about Palm Springs, has local tourism officials excited about the youth-oriented depiction of its city.

But tonight's season debut calls Palm Springs, 'not exactly the most happening place.'

'It's all retired gays, grays and streets named after dead people,' says a character who is supposed to be junior at the local high school."

Apparently Palm Spring-ians are hoping that the show will do for their tired old city what "The OC" did for Orange County.

Be careful what you wish for Palm Springs. Pretty soon you'll have your own "Real Housewives" show and then you'll be sorry just like we are.

To read the entire article click here.

Hole in my heart (and ex-homepage)

It pains me to visit my old haunt, these days.

Ever since I shipped out to OC, it's occupied a cold place in cyberspace, sitting in suspended animation. But even in its stagnant state, the blog, which I co-authored with Pulitzer winner Bob Sipchen, provided a resource for folks with hardball questions about education. The magnet schools archive (a freebie column by the dynamic Sandra Tsing Loh) and other features were things parents came to look for.

Alas, it looks like they're tearing it down. It's nothing personal, I know. Another day, another fad blog at the LAT. But it still twists my innards as I check back every day, morbidly watching them dismantle my baby.

For weeks, I've fielded questions from people wanting to know why why why School Me had to die. Today, I can finally give a complete answer. Besides my move to the Weekly, my former editor's been named editor-in-chief of Sierra Magazine - the press release went out today.

The Bay Area publication was courting him for months, and rightly so. I can't think of a bigger outdoors-man than Sipchen - who suckered me into a Utah river rafting family vacation a mere month into my School Me stint. (Between the sleeping bags crawling with bugs, peeing in the river and enduring Bob's premature Christmas carols, I'm still not sure how I survived.)

I'll miss ya, Bob. But we both found something cool to do at the end of the day and will wreak havoc from our respective posts.

Uni Cycles

Categories: Main

A question I often get asked is, "How come you have so many right-wing friends?" I don't have that many, but since almost all of them are bloggers and media folk, the ones I do have are quite visible. The short answer is that I decided whether or not to like them long before I knew their voting preferences. The long answer invariably comes back to Cathy Seipp.

Seipp, who recently lost her long battle with lung cancer, was a member of the Los Angeles Press Club, and a frequent organizer of gatherings. She was also a contrarian conservative, who loved to tweak liberal friends in the media, while being solidly plugged into conservative circles of Hollywood and beyond via the likes of David Horowitz and Lionel Chetwynd (who don't get along with each other, though both liked Cathy).

And Cathy, once she finally entered the blogosphere, garnered a particularly unique set of regular commenters, who certainly weren't the usual unified cheering section one expects a political columnist to have. The spectrum ran from the likes of a heartily pro-Bush military blogger in Iraq known only as "Odysseus," to the aggressively left-wing self-proclaimed "anarchist" and film critic David Ehrenstein. Surprisingly, we generally all got along, so much so that after Cathy died, many of the regular commenters set up a new blog where they could continue to post in a similar vein.

And so it was that on Memorial Day weekend, I found myself in Oceanside with fellow Cathy-ites "qdpsteve," San Diego science reporter Bradley J. Fikes, and the American Cinema Foundation's Gary McVey, downing pitchers of Bass ale and pomegranate shots. But that's not the real point of interest here.

No, this has all been a really long build-up to yet another story about LYT eatin' weird crap. Bradley took us to one of his favorite local places, simply called The Fish Joint. It looked like a mediocre hole-in-the-wall run by guys who had the appearance of retired professional surfers. But it was a sushi bar.

I'm a bit of a sushi snob, as regular readers and friends can attest. This place looked verrry dubious. The sushi menu even seemed quite limited. But as at all the best sushi joints, the trick is to find out what isn't on the menu.

Fresh sea urchin (Uni).

How fresh? Damn fresh. So fresh they bring you the eviscerated shell and pour sake on it, at which point the spines twitch and try to defend the empty shell that once contained innards. Slices of blood orange on the side. The meat itself was brinier and milder than your standard uni from a wooden box, but my only complaint is that there wasn't enough of it.

(photo courtesy Bradley J. Fikes)

Live sweet shrimp were also served up ("Your dinner just tried to run away!" said one of the chefs), but unfortunately they were dead by the time they made it to my plate. No matter. Shrimp heads are actually tastier deep-fried, but there's an energy to eating them alive that's unique.

Gary and Steve seemed to enjoy their plain ol' fish and chips. The chips did look pretty good, with seasoned salt and all.

But hey, I guess I should have expected them to make the conservative menu choice, right?

The Fish Joint is located at 524 S. Coast Highway, Oceanside. Open noon-3 p.m., 5-10 p.m. daily.

Free crap that came in the mail

You think these are cupcakes. But in fact, they are "Beasley Poppers," and Paris Hilton likes them.

In the interests of objectivity, since they were sent to me for some reason -- most likely because of my stunning resemblance to Paris Hilton -- I recuse myself from reviewing them, and instead defer to some of my fellow staffers.

Gustavo Arellano [making a shrugging gesture]: "Mm-ph."

Derek Olson: "It's diabetilicious."

Janine Kahn: "Things taste better when they're free."

Vickie Chang: "My chocolate one (with chocolate frosting) was too sweet. (But I still ate it all.) "

Seen on the way to work

Categories: Main

crash_small.jpgYou know you're a heartless journo when you see a guy swerve and crash into the curling rail by the 55 North onramp and you stop...

to take pictures.

Fortunately, a good samaritan stopped and sprinted across the street to help the man out of his car.

He seemed unscathed, though pretty shaken up by the ordeal.

Darn you, 55.

Wednesday's Haul

Categories: News Roundups

Who needs fiction when you have reality?

  • Dinner Escapes: Some Huntington Beach idiot stuck a knife through a Mallard - and the duck lived to tell the tale.

  • Return of the Deported: Four of 23 OC immigrant workers kicked out of the country earlier this year are back - and they want their money from the janitorial firm they used to work for. The four plan to join a lawsuit filed by others in Pennsylvania to demand that Rosenbaum-Cunningham International pay up.

  • More on Azia Kim: Yesterday, we noted that an OC teen managed to fool folks at Stanford into believing she was a student for eight ruddy months. Today, the Times adds that Kim also joined the Army ROTC program at nearby Santa Clara University. The Army's dismissing it as a harmless prank.

  • Nerd Alert: A Nietzsche-quoting kid at Anaheim's Esperanza High perfected the gruesome new SAT.

  • Today in court: Arraignment is set for Jessica Smith, who used to be on the MTV series Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County. She faces DUI charges.

Image: Wetlands and Wildlife Care Center via the OCR