The question of which Nguyen won is about to be answered. Or maybe not.

The Los Angeles Times reports that OC Registrar of Voters Neal Kelley has finished the recount of the February 6 special election, and determined that Janet Nguyen is the winner. Republican Nguyen's margin of victory over Republican Trung Nguyen is said to be seven votes, which brings the proceedings to a neatly symmetrical end, since the losing Nguyen (T.) was seven votes ahead of the winning Nguyen (J.) at the beginning of the recount.

Trung Nguyen, following the example set by his party's leader during the 2000 presidential election recount, is preparing to challenge the recount results in court. Janet Nguyen also seems to draw inspiration from Maximum Leader George W. Bush, as evidenced by this line from the Times story:

Elsewhere in the courts of OC, the long shadow of the Mouse throws a chill over the democratic process. Disney is suing Anaheim to prevent a reconsideration of an affordable housing project. That would the same project that Disney recently worked so hard to kill, the high point of its efforts coming when its attorneys raised the possibility of civil and criminal penalties for Council member Lucille Kring, if she voted on the project.

And finally, events in another OC courtroom show that sometimes shared xenophobia just isn't a strong enough basis to keep a relationship from fracturing. From the Times:

Gustavo reviewed Gilchrist's book when it came out last year. You should read the review ("The book is riddled with typos. It's badly organized and stilted. But its worst sin is that it's boring".) so you too can wonder about the most remarkable allegation in the current court case, which isn't that Gilchrist inappropriately used Minuteman funds for his own needs or that he violated federal laws governing nonprofit groups-- it's that Gilchrist's book generated any royalties worth mentioning.

Ever wonder why some fake fur feels so real?  The Associated Press has one explanation:  "An animal advocacy group says its investigation has turned up coats — some with designer labels, some at higher-end retailers — with fur from man's best friend."

The Humane Society of the United States said it purchased coats from reputable outlets, such as upscale Nordstrom, with designer labels — Andrew Marc, Tommy Hilfiger, for example — and found them trimmed with fur from domestic dogs, even though the fur was advertised as fake.

"It's an industrywide deception," said Kristin Leppert, the head of the Human[e] Society's anti-fur campaign.

The investigation began after the society got a tip from a consumer who bought a coat with trim labeled as faux fur that felt real. Leppert and her team began buying coats from popular retailers and then had the coats tested by mass spectrometry, which measures the mass and sequence of proteins, to determine what species of animal the fur came from.

Of the 25 coats tested, 24 were mislabeled or misadvertised.

Three coats — from Tommy Hilfiger's Web site ShopTommy.com, Nordstrom.com and a coat from Andrew Marc's MARC New York line sold on Bluefly.com — contained fur from domesticated dogs. The others had fur from raccoon dogs — a canine species native to Asia — or, in one case, wolves. The single correctly labeled coat was trimmed with coyote fur, but it was advertised as fake.

Most of the fur came from China.

I suppose I can understand why even the correctly labeled coat trimmed with coyote wasn't advertised as such, given that one of the most common adjectives used to describe a coyote's appearance is "mangy".  Mangy probably isn't very appealing to fashion conscious-- of course, Heroin Chic was popular a few years ago, so maybe there is hope for Mangy Chic.

If you're one of the fashion forward who favor faux fur, you should definitely read the whole story-- though you should probably be warned that the story contains descriptions like "routinely killed by stomping them, or beating them, or skinning them alive".  Unfortunately, that is not a description of what happens to the people making a heap of money mislabeling fur from a heap of dead dogs.

Birds have been dying in suspiciously large numbers near the mouth of the Santa Ana River.  Since February 4, approximately 60 dead and dying birds from the area have been brought to the Wetlands and Wildlife Center, and the bodies of more dead birds have been spotted in the area around the river's mouth.  No cause was immediately apparent, so tests were ordered, and the results are in, reports the Huntington Beach Independent.

The usual suspects were rounded up-- parasites, fungus, cancer, toxic effects of red tide-- and found not guilty.  So what is killing the birds?  According to the Independent, "The latest testing does indicate a toxin, but no more specific information is available."  Not entirely helpful, and not exactly reassuring.  Just one more chapter in that never ending story, What the hell is in OC's water?

It seems a new day is dawning at the Los Angeles Times. No, it's not another thinning of the staff herd-- it's new language. Well… new for the Times, at least.

As is traditional, it's the appearance of a cock that heralds the new day. Kevin Roderick at L.A. Observed explains:

Times language a-changing

Last week a womanizing UCLA professor was described in a quote as a "cocksman." In today's Bob Pool story about Oscar preparations disrupting Hollywood Boulevard (chasing our post from yesterday) a woman jokes about the bent-over workers: "Get a picture of all those butt cracks."

Cocksmen and butts in the Times? Will wonders never cease? Well done, Spring Street scribblers. Pony rides for everyone!

While the well-moneyed, Republican-friendly overlords of Chapman University celebrate the school's new film studios, trouble is a-brewin' at my alma mater. Last Monday, the school held a faculty-led panel discussion on free speech and civility after African-American and Latino students complained about some racially charged incidents that occurred on campus last semester. Among the sticking points, according to the Feb. 5 issue of the Chapman Panther: posters for a dance club grafittied with anti-black slurs, an Oct. 16 opinion column attacking the Right's favorite college bogeyman, the Chicano student group MEChA, and posters with the slogan, "No se Puede," a play on the Chicano rallying cry, "Sí se Puede." These incidents aren't surprising in light of how Chapman kicked off its year.

Notably absent from the Feb. 12 discussion was Panther opinions editor Michael Stack, the author of the Oct. 16 anti-MEChA column (he was working that night). That same day, Stack wrote a scathing column about Chapman professor Paul Apodaca, who's the advisor to Chapman's MEChA chapter and was also on the faculty panel discussion. In it, Stack claimed Apodaca and MEChA sought to have him fired from the Panther and boasted he "felt it was too bad that MECha got their feelings hurt."

On Tuesday, someone stole the entire run of the Panther (est. circulation, 2,000). Yesterday, Chapman Dean of Student Joseph Kertes sent a faculty-wide e-mail alert under the subject "An apparant [sic] act of theft....2000 Panther Newspapers," stating "This act served to deprive the campus community of the right to read the weekly newspaper that students pay for and The Panther newspaper staff work very hard to produce."

There are no suspects at the time, but I sure as hell hope MEChA members weren't involved. But you know what? It wouldn't be the first time. Stay tuned...

The first sentence tells both what you already knew, and in many ways, all you need to know.

In Anaheim, even the tie goes to Disney.

That's the first sentence of Dave McKibben's story in the LA Times on how an attempt to build low-income housing in Anaheim was killed Tuesday.

But what really makes the story worth reading is its account of how Disney manufactured the tie vote by the Anaheim city council.  Some might say Disney's attorneys intimidated Councilwoman Lucille King into recusing herself, thereby setting up the tie vote that killed the affordable housing project.  Some might say Mickey's members of the bar strongarmed her.  I prefer to say they "imagineered" a menacing specter of "civil or criminal penalties", if King performed her duties as a member of the council and voted on the project.

Read the story here.

Ah, Valentine's Day! A day when many reflect on love gone wrong, and the harsh things that are said when love spoils like potato salad left too long in the sun. Charmingly, the Times has a story today on a UC Irvine-centered case of spoiled love, and yes, harsh things were said.

"Irvine is not exactly the center of the world," Kamuf said…

Not a nuclear-winter inducing strike, admittedly, but there's no denying that nasty edge there. So, who is Kamuf and what bit of unrefrigerated mayo-based-salad-of-the-heart inspired her to say that?

The somewhat snotty Kamuf is Peggy Kamuf, "chairwoman of USC's comparative literature department" (ah, USC), and more importantly in this context, "a friend of the Derrida family". The Derrida family is, of course, the currently green parts of the family tree of the late French philosophy idol, Jacques Derrida, who taught part-time at UCI from 1986 to 2003.

It seems that once there was love between Derrida and UCI, and Derrida promised the blushing young school a token of his affection (his papers). But then the old man had second thoughts, and rethought his promised gift. Words were exchanged. Derrida died. Words continued to be exchanged with the Derrida family. Lawyers were retained. Unpleasantness on a [insert your favorite Hollywood divorce here] level loomed. But now passions have cooled, the lawyers (well paid) have been sent home, and a middling sort of "can't we still be friends" compromise appears to have been reached.

"This is what should have happened all along," [Kamuf] said. "One hundred years from now, Derrida will be considered the most important philosopher since [Immanuel] Kant."

OK, apparently not all passions have cooled. Most important since Kant? Really? That's the sort of love-drunk declaration-- especially with that gaseous I'll be right when you are dead assertion-- you might expect from a squealing fan-girl, not a scholar of such lofty status that she can sneer at Irvine from on high.

But since it's a holiday, let's skip the philosophical arguments and instead enjoy a combination of a different sort of drunkeness and philosophy. I give you Monty Python's Philosopher's Song (click link, You Tube won't embed) featuring some of those thinkers Kamuf would tell are nothing but "beery swine" compared to her Derrida.

Over at her Deadline Hollywood Daily column, Nikki Finke charts all the controversies swirling around American Idol contestant Tom Lowe.

Her piece begins:

American Idol 6 would be nothing without its controversy. The latest: 28-year-old ex-British boy-band'er Tom Lowe is the target of not just one but four controversies, which is a rarity even for that Fox show. Allegations include that Lowe is too successful, or too well-connected, to compete fairly on the show. Then there's the fact this runner-up "Britain Choirboy of the Year" posed nude (with all the appropriate places covered) for a trendy British magazine. A college interview presents him as the first "out" gay American Idol contestant. There are headlines how he's had influential helpers -- so influential that the British press alleges one of them may be Simon Cowell himself, and the Boston Herald says the other is the Massachusetts Tourism Board. But there's also another issue: just what, exactly, is American Idol supposed to be? Is it an obvious avenue for finding undiscovered talent (like Kelly Clarkson or Carrie Underwood)? Or is it a shrewd method of banking on a sure thing (like Taylor Hicks, who'd already put out an album pre-Idol). And what about the show's forced notion of "wholesomeness"?

Tom Lowe . . . Tom Lowe . . . why does that name sound familiar? Oh, yeah: Tom Lowe was also the name of the GOP operator who alleged he banged a chick on then-Assemblyman (now Anaheim Mayor) Curt Pringle's desk at the state Capitol, something Lowe detailed in his June 26, 1996, story for us, "I Was a Gigolo for the GOP" (which I'd link you to if only I could).

The same Tom Lowe? Nawwwww . . . the GOP gigolo Tom Lowe was a mezzo-soprano.

In case you missed it, you can find video of Rep. Dana Rohrabacher (R-Surfin') speculating about the effects of dinosaur flatulence here. And no, booze was not involved in the congressman's ramblings. Probing the effects of dinosaur farting is just something Rohrabacher sees as part of his official duties, one of the ways in which he serves the interests of his constituents.

The question about the noxious gas emitted by thunder-lizards was part of the noxious gas Rohrabacher emitted during last week's Congressional hearing on the new IPCC report on global climate change. The report spelt out in unequivocal language the role of human activity in climate change, and its disastrous consequences. But the Surfin' One doesn't believe in the human role in global warming that scientists have so clearly documented. He don't hold with all that science and fancy book-learnin'. Hence, his kindergarten-level question about dinosaur farts.

To be fair, this must be a difficult time of year for the Pride of Huntington Beach. It's movie award season. And Dana Rohrabacher is, after all, more than just an embarrassing congressman, he's also a failed screenwriter. So far, the only producer to show real interest in any of his screenplays was a con man looking for Rohrabacher to help him make connections in D.C. Rohrabacher did his part, but the con man ended up being carted off to prison instead of producing Baja (a tale of men doing manly things in Mexico), crushing one more Hollywood dream. So, with Oscar night hard upon us, and no one showing an interest in such masterpieces as Rohrabacher's The French Doctoresse (which stands out from other WWII dramas, thanks to "its oddly positive depiction of Adolf Hitler"), is it any wonder that Dana Rohrabacher's head is full of nothing but bad gas?

Truthy and hard-hitting as ever, last night Stephen Colbert took on the burning question: is OC Congressional Rep. Loretta Sanchez a whore? You can find his answer (no) here. Look for Last Night's Highlights, and scroll down to California Values Watch: Sanchez.

Those interested in Stephen's answer and his explanation of how the question started burning in the first place-- as well as those who want to know which Hilton sister Sanchez is most like-- better hurry. The video's available at the link today only, and while it might be Comedy Central's Motherload a bit longer, there's a pretty good chance it will soon disappear behind the paywall at iTunes. Why? Because the executives at Comedy Central are whores, and they only love you for your money.

See if this sounds familiar.

The Los Angeles Times reports:

A sheriff's lieutenant filed a lawsuit Tuesday against Orange County Sheriff Michael S. Carona, alleging Carona retaliated against him for supporting a rival in last year's race to be the county's top lawman.

In his 22 years in the department, Jeff Bardzik rose steadily, the lawsuit says, until he announced his support for sheriff's Lt. Bill Hunt's effort to unseat Carona.

As a result, the lawsuit alleges, Bardzik, 53, was transferred to an undesirable post far from his Mission Viejo home at the Fullerton courthouse — a treatment known among deputies as "freeway therapy."

Additionally, Bardzik alleges that Carona reneged on a promise to promote him to captain and later refused to consider him for jobs leading the sheriff's operations in San Clemente or Dana Point.

There's also an allegation of Carona loyalists strong-arming subordinates for campaign cash, which adds a little touch of variety to the lawsuit.

Bardzik says that in May 2005 a superior pressured him to donate $100 to Carona's reelection campaign. He said he reported to Assistant Sheriff Pete Gannon that the pressure was "unseemly."

Shorty afterward, Bardzik alleges, he announced his support for Hunt, and Carona sent a message through an intermediary that Bardzik should resign. In August 2005, Bardzik said, he met with Carona, who told him "the Bill Hunt thing didn't help" and again requested his resignation. "Remember, Lieutenant, you brought this on," Bardzik said Carona told him.

The sheriff's office had no comment on lawsuit.

Bill Hunt, however, did have a comment for the Times. He called Bardzik "a guy of honor and integrity." Hunt added, "He's going to have a tough fight in front of him." Of course, a tough fight is something all too familiar to Hunt.

Garden Grove city councilmember Janet Nguyen is seems the winner of yesterday's special election in the Board of Supervisor's First District. The vote count currently on the Registrar of Voters website gives Nguyen a 52 vote margin of victory over second place finisher Trung Nguyen.

The big story out of yesterday's election seems to be the emerging clout of Vietnamese-Americans as a voting bloc, since neither Nguyen had the official backing of their party.

Is it too much to hope for that a photo will surface showing Trung Nguyen being consoled on his loss by Governor Schwarzenegger, John Wayne, and Abraham Lincoln?

Update: The day draws to a close, and things have gone from close to paper (ballot) thin. Now Trung Nguyen is on top by seven votes. Looks like a recount will be coming up, which means it'll be a while before we know whether a Trung, Schwarzenegger, Wayne, and Lincoln photo would show them all wearing silly hats at a victory party or not (Lincoln excepted, of course).

Since Lou Correa has been elevated to the splendor that is the state Senate, the citizens in the Board of Supervisors' First District need a new Lou, and today is the day to elect one.   The polls will be open until 8pm.  If you have any questions about the how-and-where of voting, you can call the Registrar of Voters office for answers, 714-567-7600.

The weather will be fine, and crowds at the polls shouldn't be a problem.  According to the Reg, the last time there was a special election for the Board of Supes (January 2003, Third District), voter turnout was a meager 12.9%.  So, if you're among the geographically select of the First District, go out and vote.

Nixon may have inspired him to become a Republican, but Arnold Schwarzenegger completely lacks The Pride of Yorba Linda's flair when it comes to taped conversations. Consider, for example, this lecture on history captured by the Oval Office taping system. Nixon explains why the Soviet Union is superior to the U.S., England, France, the Catholic Church, and even the later Roman Empire:

Do you know what happened to the Romans? The last six Roman emperors were fags…. You know what happened to the popes? It's all right that popes were laying the nuns. That's been going for years, centuries, but when the popes, when the Catholic Church went to hell in, I don't know, three or four centuries ago, it was homosexual…. Now, that's what happened to Britain, it happened earlier to France. And let's look at the strong societies. The Russians. Goddamn it, they root them out, they don't let 'em hang around at all. You know what I mean? I don't know what they do with them.

Dope? Do you think the Russians allow dope? Hell no. Not if they can catch it, they send them up. You see, homosexuality, dope, uh, immorality in general: These are the enemies of strong societies. That why the Communists and the left-wingers are pushing it. They're trying to destroy us.

In a new round of tapes from Schwarzenegger's office-- first leaked to the LA Times, but then officially released to the rest of the media on Sunday to deprive the Times of a scoop-- the governor calling the President Pro Tem of the state Senate "a very sick man" and "really weird" is about as extreme as it gets. Very disappointing. Not a hint of Nixonian flair. And judging by press reports, the new tapes even lack that standard feature of the Nixon tape transcripts, [expletive deleted].

Like Nixon, however, Schwarzenegger does engage in a little cultural theory, though with the Cold War over, Schwarzenegger is left to speculate on what's wrong with Mexican immigrants in California. Alas, he didn't say anything that can't be heard in any boozy barroom bullshit season (minus the expletives to be deleted). His ramblings have none of those imaginative leaps that make the Nixon tapes such a delight.

The Times, unsurprisingly, has the longest story of any newspaper on the new tapes. But the Sacramento Bee has the best, and best written, account.

There's been a lot of talk about the governor's universal healthcare plan, but once you get past all the talk you discover… well, that plan may be too strong of a word. The governor's universal healthcare good intention may be more accurate.

Anthony York explains in the Capitol Weekly. (emphasis added)

Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger received international attention when he unveiled his plan for universal health-care coverage. The plan made the front page of the New York Times and the Washington Post, and landed on network evening news. But here at home, he still can't find anyone in the Legislature to introduce his plan.

Schwarzenegger has outlined his proposals, but so far there is nothing in writing. And there may never be. Schwarzenegger spokeswoman Sabrina Lockhart says, as of now, there are no formal plans to introduce the governor's health-care package.

Part of the problem may be finding someone willing to carry a health-care bill for the governor.

"The key thing is not to get caught up in ... how you get there," Schwarzenegger said Wednesday. "The key thing is, we're going to get there."

OK, then. So, at the moment-- and for the foreseeable future-- the governor's plan for universal healthcare, one of the most heavily-marketed features of his new term, exists only in the same way that Santa Claus does in the famous "Yes Virginia, there is a…" editorial. The plan lives in the heart of people of goodwill everywhere, along with "all the wonders [that] are unseen and unseeable in the world."

Although short, Molly's life was writ large. She was as eloquent a speaker and teacher as she was a writer, and her quips will last at least as long as Will Rogers'. She dubbed George W. Bush "Shrub" and Texas Governor Rick Perry "Good Hair."

Molly always said in her official résumé that the two honors she valued the most were (1) when the Minneapolis Police Department named their mascot pig after her (She was covering the police beat at the time.) and (2) when she was banned from speaking on the Texas A&M University campus at least once during her years as co-editor of The Texas Observer (1970-76). However, she said with great sincerity that she would be proudest of all to die sober, and she did.

She worked as a reporter for The New York Times (1976-82) in New York and Albany and later as Rocky Mountain Bureau Chief covering nine mountain states by herself. After working for the staid Times where she was heavily edited, Molly cut loose and became a columnist for the Dallas Times Herald. When the Herald folded, she signed on as a columnist for the Fort Worth Star-Telegram. In 2001, she became syndicated, eventually appearing in 400 newspapers.

She never lost her love for The Texas Observer or her conviction that a free society relies on public-interest journalism. She found that brand of journalism the most fun.

In recent years she shamelessly used her national and international contacts to raise funds for the Observer, which has always survived on a shoestring. More than $400,000 was contributed to the feisty little journal at a roast honoring Molly in Austin October 8.

Molly's enduring message is, "Raise more hell."

From The Texas Observer's memorial pages honoring the great Molly Ivins, who died yesterday at the age of 62.

Yes, kids: our award-winning Rebecca Schoenkopf has left the Weekly for...reasons you'll read later today when our infernal website finally puts up her farewell column. In the meanwhile, read OC Register columnist Frank Mickadeit's take on the matter. And do leave your thoughts/rants/valentines below.

Update: Here's Rebecca's final column.