TV is Stupid

"More bars in more places. That's what people have come to expect from Cingular."

Bullshit. That's what my parents have come to expect from ME. Shame on Cingular for appealing to alcoholics. Sorry, but I just hate commercials these days. If it's not ambiguous word usage, it's terrifying paranoia-inducing rhetoric.

"Midas. Who's counting on your brakes?"

Those Midas commercials are priceless. A kid crosses the street in front of a woman at a stop sign. Suddenly, he turns around - he's dropped his salamander. The woman has started to roll forward, but she stops on a dime when the kid runs back in front of her high-priced sedan to recover his reptile. Sorry, amphibian. Then we segue to a Midas garage and a gentleman tells us that we can't trust our brakes to just anybody.

Message - go to Midas or you'll kill children. And their salamanders. Won't somebody think of the salamanders?

And don't even get me started on bad grammar. Golden West College, I'm talking to YOU. "Oceans of opportunity is available at Golden West College," a curly-haired girl tells us in the commercial opening. Really? Oceans is available? I only hope GWC offers a fantastic Ebonics program.

Television doesn't make people stupid - stupid television makes people stupid. Er, stupider.