Dem Bones

Categories: Politics

First there was yesterday's Election Day lunch--the GOP-heavy shindig where Weekly editor Will Swaim only got halfway through the hilarious speech I wrote for him because he was shuffling back and forth between pages and so lost my text and thus never got to the payoff, "Thank you, ladies and gentlemen! Don't forget to tip your waitstaff and then have them all deported!" Then there were last night's Dem fiestas in Santa Ana.

I LOVE ELECTION DAY! I do!

I stopped into Proof first; the OC Dem Foundation's Phil Bacerra had said some young Democrats would be hanging out. They weren't, and I was hungry, and I'd heard Tom Umberg's party was close by and would probably have food. Done and done! I was walking over to Main Street in Santa Ana, maybe six blocks or so, when former Assemblyman Ken Maddox (who should just reregister Dem since the GOP treats him like one anyway because he once took money from a police union and doesn't approve of shit in the ocean) called me and said he thought Umberg's party was at the Performing Arts CENTER. That is in Costa Mesa, and I really couldn't have walked there. I asked him to check online real quick and stopped walking while he did. Which is when a cop came by and booped me, like this: "BWOOP!" Basically, he was saying "Move along, hooker!" I am not a hooker! I am on the phone! However, Umberg's party was in the Performing Arts PAVILION, so I kept walking. A block later, a tweaky, tweaky lady yelled at me, "Lisa! Where you going? Where you going?" When I didn't answer, she yelled, "You Mexican piece of shit!" Right on, tweaky lady!

It was kind of hairy.

At the Umberg party--where there was indeed food--I hung out with a couple of lobbyists, who were terrific: their entire job description, after all, is to buy people drinks. The party was packed, too, though Umberg lost by a pretty significant seven point margin to Lou Correa. "Good luck tonight," I told him as I was leaving. "I voted for you!"

"You did?" he asked. He seemed puzzled. Well, of course! I don't understand why Umberg ran sor state Senate after all that mess came out about not really being in Guantanamo prosecuting people in the war on terror but instead at Washington galas with his mistress half the time his wife was out campaigning for him. But he's still a consistently terrific vote in the lege--much better than is Correa. Of course, I didn't say any of that, except for the "Well, of course!" part.

I headed back over to Proof. There were fewer than a dozen people there, but it was intimate and a perfect number for the space--all the kind of people who actually look at the top vote getters for Central Committee races. In each district. For each party. And comment excitedly thereon. Al Stokke showed up, and we had a long talk about Greg Haidl, whom he defended in the second gang rape trial. We disagreed.

Claudia Alvarez lost pretty bad to Jose Solario, and everyone at the party laughed and snickered. I'm not a Jose fan, but Claudia is a pig: A Dem who actually took campaign contributions from Safeway DURING THE GROCERY STRIKE. If you're a Republican who wants to do that, tear it up. Have a good time. But for a Dem to do so is roughly akin to a Rep taking money from an abortion doctor. Speaking of which, I wonder if this site still has Moxley's stories on Edward Allred. Oh, yes. There it is.

As far as the other races: we're thrilled that Angelides beat that little punk Steve Westly (as Commie Mom so evocatively explained, "I hate that little fucking creep!"), sad about Joe Dunn's loss to John Chiang (who's a good guy too, but we LOVE JOE DUNN!), and pretty pleased that the sheriff got his 50 percent plus one. Four more years of gravy train.


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