The Real Poop on William Lyon

Orange County Register reporter Frank Mickadeit finishes his decade-long series on The Real Housewives of Orange County today, something our own Commie Girl did better a couple weeks back. But what caught our attention in Mickadeit's column was the reference to developer William Lyon, one of the Masters of the Orange County Universe. Lyon is in his autumn years now, and he was also in his autumn years a couple of years back when my friends would clean the offices of Lyon Homes in Irvine. One time, the night before the company's Christmas party, my friends invited me into the building. Grand. A bunch of paintings. A huge executive office. Then they allowed me into Lyons' personal office, which was almost as big as my house. Had its own private restroom with a shower and a toilet. . .where a GIANT TURD floated, unflushed: chunky, pale, the stool of someone who was sick. Now, we're not saying the piece of shit came from the culo of Lyon, but who else would dare defecate on his porcelain throne? Certainly not mere mortals or Mexicans such as ourselves. My friends no longer work as Lyons Homes janitors--they decided to make a living wage as musicians a couple years later. But they did have the good work ethic to flush the feces inside Lyon's toilet so that the General wouldn't find a Monday morning surprise.