I'm sure you're all going to SPEED RACER. I probably will at some point too. But I have to say that after watching the first seven minutes online, I'm really less than enthused.

The idea of a Speed Racer movie has always struck me as the sort of thing you'd see in some kind of parody movie about the film industry, something Griffin Mill or the cast of FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION would greenlight, as a commentary on how sad blockbusters have become. Realistically, folks, the cartoon was poorly animated, badly dubbed, and as such mostly insufferable except as a curiosity. Nonetheless, the Wachowski siblings appear to have thrown themselves headlong into the task of making it as strange an experience as possible, and since it looks like every review out there references some kind of colorful candy or breakfast cereal brand, I'll refrain from doing so and say that it looks like a good-sized post-birthday party puke.

But there's another visual feast opening this weekend, and that's my real pick: Tarsem Singh's THE FALL. I know there were problems with his first major movie THE CELL, but I truly believe they were part and parcel of the New Line brass at the time. It didn't seem like coincidence that THE CELL, DARK CITY, and SPAWN all came out within a short window, and all had killer visuals but were hampered with a story that felt the need to explain itself again and again via gratuitous expository dialogue.

Tarsem's newest is more independent, a labor of love shot all over the world over the course of four years. Still looks to have amazing visuals, though. Here, just see for yourself:

Eric Lindroos is a columnist for the Coast Report, the student newspaper of my alma mater, Orange Coast College. He writes the "Weekly Queery," his musings on life as a gay student who doesn't take guff from morons—yep, you know where this is going. Lindroos has received muchos nasty email from homophobic pendejos, but the San Francisco State-bound student has always maintained a positive, reappropriating attitude throughout the semester—even in the face of a restraining order filed to protect him from one crazy.

Lindroos—whom we know because he's a waiter at a restaurant we frequent that shall remain nameless—told the Weekly that the individual has gone to the Coast Report newsroom and demanded to confront Lindroos about his homosexuality. The student was able to get an op-ed piece blasting Lindroos in the paper, one poorly received by the OCC community. Now, Lindroos says the student is threatening to join the Coast Report—just to harass Lindroos. The Coast Report staff has tried to shield Lindroos from his hater, but he doesn't mind the attention—indeed, he welcomes speaking to the moron in order to show him that homosexuality is as normal as air. "This is a learning experience for me," says Lindroos, who hopes to continue his column writing as a career. Be good folks: send the Coast Report kudos for standing by Lindroos by e-mailing them at editor@coastreportonline.com

500 Clown: Frankenstein, 5/9-5/10 @ 8 p.m.
The Chicago-based ensemble, 500 Clown, combines circus arts, improvisation and action-based performance that catapults the performers into extreme physical and emotional risk and makes the audience active participants in the thrilling ride. In short: It sounds awesome.
Orange County Performing Artscenter
600 Town Center Drive Costa Mesa CA 92626
714-556-2787

Flock Of '80s, 5/9 @ 8 p.m.
Bust out your leg warmers and shoulder pads!
Renaissance Dana Point
24701 Del Prado Ave. Dana Point CA 92629
949-661-6003

ARCE LECTURE: DEFENDING THE DEAD, ADAPTATIONS IN BURIAL PRACTICE AT THE END OF THE NEW KINGDOM, 5/10 @ 3:30 p.m.
Dr. Kara Cooney, Research Associate, Getty Institute, and frequent commentator on National Geographic and Discovery Channel discusses the burial process of Ancient Egypt. Price: FREE
Bowers Museum of Cultural Art
2002 N. Main St. Santa Ana CA 92701
714-567-3600

Irvine Animal Care Center Open House, 5/10 @ 10 a.m.
In celebration of Irvine Animal Care's 26th anniversary the event will feature pet-related vendors, a silent auction, pet toy sale, and more.
Irvine Animal Care Center
6405 Oak Cyn. Irvine CA 92618
949-724-7740

Mighty Mama Skate-o-rama, 5/11
The fifth annual Mighty Mama Skate-o-Rama invites chicks of all ages who skate to throw down in a non-competitive, family-friendly environment. Aunts and happily child-frees are welcome, too. Price $10 entry fee; free for spectators.
Laguna Niguel Skateboard Park
27745 Alicia Pkwy. Laguna Niguel CA 92677

As much as I've always loved superheroes, I've always felt there was something just a little off-putting about Marvel head honcho Stan Lee, the person. And it isn't a righteous indignation thing about not giving his collaborators their due credit; Stan has relented on that score in later years, and Jack Kirby's dead now.

No, there's just something about him that feels really cheeseball, from the way he tends to address audiences as "True Believers" and is prone to exclamations like "Excelsior!" Also, it's not hard to run into Stan Lee if you live in L.A., as I did for many years. The guy attends any and everything he's invited to.

That said, many of the characters he created are indeed classic. I'm not sure how much imagination it takes to create a hybrid of spider and man, but will definitely grant that the Incredible Hulk (comic-book version; not so much Ang Lee's movie) is the best modern take on the classic werewolf/Mr. Hyde mythos. And how many Westerners would be familiar with Norse mythology were it not for Lee devoting a comic book to Thor? (As a kid I never could stand all the "thee's" and "thou's", though)

And after spending an hour with Stan Lee yesterday, at a guest lecture at UC Irvine, I have to say that he's actually better in large doses. Equal parts arrogance and self-deprecation, he's like an enthusiastic grandpa who's dying to be asked about his wartime adventures, except that the wars are all ones he made up himself.

Read on...

The first time I spotted heart-shaped sunglasses outside of Lolita was during Moschino's SS 2006 runway show. And for some inexplicable reason, I loved them, as silly as they seemed. The collection consisted of flirty dresses, full skirts, throwback 1950s swimsuits and, yes, heart-shaped sunglasses. In fact, the entire show pretty much reflected what seems to be today's style mantra: completely classic and vintage, with just enough modern detail thrown in for some originality and flare.

But of course, the Moschino sunglasses retailed for about $295, and who wants to spend that much on such a bold accessory? The sunglasses have since popped up in numerous editorial spreads since, and Girl Props has come to the rescue for $9.99, as they usually are the go-to place for fun-but-cheap jewelry and other such accessories. I first happened upon the zebra-striped storefront and their loads of inexpensive trinkets on Prince Street in Manhattan's SoHo. It's a great place to check out for gaudy accessories that will be out of style within a season, like door knockers, Kanye West shutter sunglasses, charm necklaces and more that you don't want to spend lots on.

Cute purveyors FredFlare.com also offers a slightly more cartoonish version, available in pink and red here for $10. My favorites, and your safest best as far as heart-shaped sunglasses go, are available on Fun and Funky's Amazon store for $9.95—and come in crystal purple, crystal blue, crystal pink, white and a glittery red. The wide shape of the hearts are inconspicuous just enough... or, at least, I think so. The style available for purchase on Amazon is probably the closest in similarity to the ones on the Moschino runway and as featured in this editorial with model Georgia Frost (pictured left) that appeared in Tank Magazine (Volume 5, Issue 3).

Be brave! And, if anything, try 'em on for the opinion of a really, really honest friend—just prepare yourself for some second glances when you're walking down the street, good and bad.

Yesterday, I gave a tour of Orange County's endangered Chicano murals to Carol Wells, head of the Center for the Study of Political Graphics, and Timothy Drescher, one of the preeminent mural scholars in the United States. Wells got in contact with me at the Los Angeles Times Festival of Books after reading my op-ed piece in the Times attacking Fullerton City Councilmember Shawn Nelson for mouthing off about the murals on the Lemon Street pedestrian overpass just north of the AMC 20 Theaters complex. Drescher was interested in visiting all the way from Berkeley after Wells told him about the situation.

It was a splendid (though overcast) afternoon, as I took them from Fullerton to Placentia to Anaheim. Drescher proclaimed all the murals wonderful (he was especially taken with the the massive Placentia effort, which had motifs of various Mexican muralists), scoffed at Nelson's assertion that the Fullerton murals promoted gang violence, and basically served as a much more enthusiastic advocate than any of the Chicano art All-Stars in Los Angeles I predicted wouldn't give a shit about helping their brethren in la naranja. Drescher vows to fire off a letter to the Fullerton City Council and lend his considerable weight to help preserve the Lemon Street murals. Que viva la causa, my ass. For those of you who care, Fullerton will hold a public hearing about the murals at the Maple Community Center May 27 at 7pm.

Deep End Of The Pool; The Good Fiction, 9 p.m.
Don't feel blue. Price: $7
THE BLUE CAFÉ
210 N. Promenade Long Beach CA 90802
562-983-7111

The Dollyrots; Mystery Hangup; Vale, 7 p.m.
All ages rockin' out.
OC Tavern
2369 S. El Camino Real San Clemente CA 92672
949-542-8877

Lorene Drive; Secret And Whisper; Jet Lag Gemini; Hope Departed; Arms Like Yours, 7:30 p.m.
Dancing is contagious. Like yawning. $12
Chain Reaction
1652 W. Lincoln Ave. Anaheim CA 92801
714-635-6067

Melvin Seals & The Jerry Garcia Band, 8 p.m.
High four and a half! Price: $18
Coach House
33157 Camino Capistrano San Juan Capistrano CA 92675
949-496-8930

She Wants Revenge; Be Your Own Pet; The Virgins; Switches, 8 p.m.
Visit OCWeekly.com/slideshows to view photos of the event. Price: $25
House of Blues
1530 S. Disneyland Dr. Anaheim CA 92802
714-778-2583

I'm not even going to try mimic Moxley's harlequin prose whenever he bothers with Orange County Register columnist Gordon Dillow, so here's the straight dope: Today, Bootlicker writes about Joe Labarrere of Brea, who visited Fresca's in the city and was offended that the mildest hot sauce was labeled "gringo." Labarrere was so perturbed that he actually lodged a complaint with the Orange County Human Relations Commission. The group—God bless their PC hearts—investigated the matter rather than telling Labarrere to go get a life. As a result, Fresca's in Brea no longer labels its mild salsa as "gringo."

"If we as a society are going to play the ethnic and racial sensitivity game as relentlessly as we do," Dillow harrumphs at the end of his column, "then everyone should get to play—white guys included."

The first problem here, of course, is that Labarrere (who is of French descent—important point to remember in the next sentence) is patronizing Fresca's, a chain only slightly less disgusting than Green Burrito. More importantly, "gringo" shouldn't offend Labarrere at all—now, if it was gabacho, he'd have more of a case.

But, as always, the onus of this idiotic episode falls on the Bootlicker. Oh, Dillow: will you ever not defend the gringo from...what, exactly? I understand you folks are majority-minority in the land of Nixon now, but still: WTF? Hey, gabachos: am I just a clueless Mexican, or is the gringo way of life really almost over?

Believing his girlfriend of five months engaged in affairs with other men, Rodney Lyn Oglesby worked himself into an October 2005 tizzy. It didn’t help that one night after Karen Corbin’s shift at Wal-Mart she refused to return to the couple’s home, a room at the Crest Motel on seedy West Lincoln in Anaheim. Corbin’s act of defiance was understandable. A calm Oglesby had called her at work to say that her gray and white striped, three-month-old kitten had hissed at him and, in retaliation, he’d broken the kitten’s neck.

(Later, the killing would lead to the following priceless exchange in court between a prosecutor and Anaheim police officer Cheryl Lynn Murphy: Prosecutor: Did you find the cat inside the Dumpster? Murphy: Yes. Prosecutor: Can you describe what the cat looked like? Murphy: It looked dead.)

When Corbin arrived home the next morning by bus, Oglesby decided he knew the reason for her absence. She’d stayed away to sleep with another man, he insisted. He also described how he’d shaken her kitten to death and left its corpse to grow cold on the floor before tossing it, and its toys, in the trash.

“He was angry,” Corbin testified. “He was mad. He tore up the room.”

A frightened Corbin went to the motel manager’s office hoping he’d call police. He said no. That’s when 5-foot-6, 181-pound Oglesby showed up, ordered her back to their room and began pulling her by the arm in the parking lot. She sat down on the ground. Oglesby pretended to walk away, spun around and kicked her in her left eye. The blow was so powerful it fractured her face bone and caused severe bleeding. He then dragged her by her hair, tearing out huge clumps, repeatedly punched her face and called her a bitch.

The lunchtime scene prompted several bystanders to call 911. One, a neighbor named Cisco, ran to Corbin’s rescue and said, “That’s enough!” Oglesby responded by accusing Cisco of sleeping with his girlfriend too, cursed more and attempted to flee responding police on a bicycle.

During court proceedings, Oglesby—sent to Alabama prisons twice in the 1990s for committing felonies, including burglary—employed the insanity defense. He has a “a significant and severe organic impairment in his brain,” declared his court-appointed lawyer. But after multiple psychiatric evaluations (at public expense), Judge Gary Paer ruled the 42-year-old competent enough to face charges. Oglesby accepted a plea deal. For multiple acts of stupidity including domestic violence and cruelty to an animal, he’s spending six years in a California prison.

(Every Wednesday at OCWeekly.com, discover the depths of human depravity in Orange County, California.)

-- R. Scott Moxley

The LA City Attorney's office moved quickly to clarify the story that appeared in the print version of the Daily Journal, a legal newspaper, about a schizophrenic man who had been driven 40 miles from College Hospital in Costa Mesa and then mysteriously "dumped" near the Union Rescue Mission on skid row in downtown LA. The story suggested that City Attorney Rocky Delgadillo was investigating the incident as an incident of homeless-patient dumping, but spokesperson Nick Velasquez told the Weekly that the city attorney's office had not yet determined if this was the case.

The man was reportedly dropped off by a van outside of the mission, which provides services to the homeless, after he was discharged from College Hospital in Costa Mesa last week.

Read on...

Out Loud: Slam Poetry, 7 p.m.
Joanne Gordon and her “punk-ass posse” of slam poets use words like jazz notes, creating a cacophony of sound and meaning, and, as Gordon puts it, “squirting adrenalin at the walls.” Price $12-$15
Cal State Long Beach
1250 Bellflower Blvd. Long Beach CA 90840
562-985-5408

Two Idiots Peddling Poetry, 7:30 p.m.
Ben Trigg and Steve Ramirez bring a little poetic culture to Orange County. Price: $2
The Ugly Mug
261 N. Glassell St. Orange CA 92866
714-997-5610

Orange County Poetry Festival, All Day
Sponsored by the Orange County Association of Poetry Hosts and Tebot Bach, go to www.poetix.net for a complete list of all events and schedules.
Golden West College
15744 Golden West St. Huntington Beach CA 92647
714-892-7711

Figuratively Speaking, 8 p.m.
eaturing mixed media art by Marge Chapman.
Sandstone Gallery
384-A North Coast Hwy. Laguna Beach CA 92651
949-497-6775

Karaoke At The Prospector, 8 p.m.
Cheap beer makes everything sound poetic.
The Prospector
2400 E. Seventh St. Long Beach CA 90804
562-438-3839

A couple of days ago, members of the Service Employees International Union (SEUI) Local 1877 who clean offices at Fashion Island and the Irvine Spectrum Center voted overwhelmingly to strike against the two facilities' owner, the mighty Irvine Company. The Orange County Labor Federation is on board with the strike, as is Zeke Hernandez, director of the main Orange County chapter of the League of United Latin American Citizens. On Sunday, Hernandez wrote a letter to Irvine Company overlord Donald Bren asking OC's Howard Hughes "to step forward and support janitors by assuring a vibrant future for their families. I call upon you, as a recognized leader in Orange County, to do the right thing and support these janitors and their families. I urge you to show leadership and do what you can to provide janitors a contract that can be cited as an example of your respect for these same workers that help to make The Irvine Company’s star shine brightly in Orange County."

Excuse us a moment--HAHAHAHAHA. We respect Zeke and fully support the strikers in their battle against Bren, but they stand little chance. SEIU: OC doesn't take kindly to strikers--or have you forgotten the 1936 Citrus War? More importantly, don't bother with Bren. He only speaks when positive coverage is guaranteed. Indeed, any negotiations with Bren will probably go a little bit like the comic after the jump, taken from the latest issue of Simpsons Classics (read the rest of it by buying a copy at Rags in SanTana)

Read on...

For almost a year now, gladiator-style flats and heels have been seen on eeeverrry celebrity taste maker that matters. Thing is, stars like Courtney Cox, Mary-Kate Olsen and Nicole Richie were all sporting the Gladiator wedge style by Balenciaga—while the rest of us normals just gawked on in envy. And even if we had the cash, the wedges sold out at retailers everywhere and were impossible to find.

Nine West has since uh, "adapted" the design to fit into the everyday budget of the everyday gal. The "Heech" is a good alternative for those of you who shied away from the ultra flat Gladiator sandal trend. The shoe features a 4" wedge heel (always easier to walk in than normal heels) and a contrast buckle-detailed design... though I would have preferred if the buckles blended in with the rest of the shoe more.

But for $89 why be picky?

The Nine West "Heech" wedge heel now available in black leather, brown leather, gold reptile and silver reptile at NineWest.com and Zappos.com (for $89, but free shipping!).

With apologies to Orange County Register sports genius Randy Youngman, notes, quotes and observations from yesterday’s sojourn to Sacramento, where I received a Latino Spirit Award (honoring Latinos who have made a positive contribution to California) from the California Latino Legislative Caucus:

*Hosting me for two days was the saintly, ever-hilarious Matt Coker, longtime managing editor of the OC Weekly, currently editor at the Sacramento News and Review. Clockwork Coker remains as troublemaking as every—the latest cover story involved furries. He’s currently very happy because your Anaheim Angels are kicking ass.

*Latino Spirit Award winners included longtime Raiders quarterback Jim Plunkett, legendary playwright Luis Valdez, teacher Jaime Escalante (of Stand and Deliver fame), other worthy businessmen, activists, and movie producers—and me. I was the youngest of the honorees by at least 20 years.

*Why did I receive the award? Blame Hector de la Torre, assemblyman from South Gate. A couple of months ago, we met for breakfast burritos at Athenian Burger #3 in Buena Park, where he interviewed me to see if I was worthy of the award. It wasn’t De La Torre’s decision alone—he nominated me, and the other members of the Latino Legislative Caucus had to approve it. Gracias, cabrones.

*Before we were recognized on the Assembly floor, staffers herded us into a room named after longtime Speaker of the Assembly Willie Brown. Without warning, Chuck Devore burst in. “Did you bring my book?” he said with a grin, referring to China Attacks, his 2001 tome you can find at San Diego State’s bookstore for 24 freakin’ cents.

Read on...

Sci-Fi/Fantasy Book Group, 7 p.m.
Rad-tastic. This week's discussion: Howl’s Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones
Barnes & Noble
7881 Edinger Ave. Huntington Beach CA 92647
714-897-8781

Karaoke, 2 p.m.
If you don't want to attend this by simply reading the venue name, then I feel sorry for you.
Cafeoke Ding Dong Dang
9738 Garden Grove Blvd. # 9 Garden Grove CA 92844
714-636-6237

Ziings After Dark, 10 p.m.
DJs Wu-Sun, D-vious and Trampage spin some Ziingin' tunes
ZIING'S
209 N. Harbor Blvd. Fullerton CA 92832
714-526-5777

562uesdays, 9 p.m.
Yet another awesome name... Price: $5
THE BLUE CAFÉ
210 N. Promenade Long Beach CA 90802
562-983-7111

Skeeter's Open Mic, 10 p.m.
Open mic for open minds
LA CAVE
1695 Irvine Ave. Costa Mesa CA 92627
949-646-7944