Jena Ardell

More »

​Ladies, I've got a secret for you: Men don't like Valentine's Day.

I mean, we just got over the pressure of the holidays and now we're expected to come up with more gifts to show our love and appreciation. And do we ever get it right? Of course not. We're guys and we suck.

But we know if we play our cards right, tonight's almost a slam dunk in the bedroom. With this on our minds, we're acting all soft and cute with our roses, cards, teddy bears and chocolates, but what we're really thinking about is getting naked with you. (To be fair, we're also thinking about how to get you naked on the other 355 days of the year, but tonight, the odds of that happening are much higher and we like when the odds are in our favor.)

So while you're thinking about how he went to Jared or how every kiss begins with Kay, plain and simple, we're thinking about fucking you. Just so you can't say I didn't warn you, here's the soundtrack to what's going through our minds as you gorge yourself on chocolates and white wine spritzers.



More »

There's a billion of Gillionaire!

​There's literally no better way to wake up than to an email from rapper Gillionaire telling you he's got a new song/video. I should know because that's exactly what happened to me his morning.

You see, since I've been writing about Gillionaire, I'd like to think we've grown close. Don't get me wrong -- he doesn't call me when his fish dies nor do I text him to tell him how my mom is dealing with chemotherapy, but still. In my mind, we're friends.

And what do friends do for one another? Two things. First, they tell each other when they post new videos on Youtube. Second, they give each other Valentine's Day love and I'm assuming Gillionaire's email to me this morning was no fluke. He's showing love (in that hip-hop way, yaknowwhatimsayin?) and because I consider every person who reads this blog a friend (sorry I haven't called you on your birthday), I'm now passing along the information so you can have an awesome Valentine's Day.



More »

Hate to break it to you, folks, but this weekend, the Valentine's Day fanfare will already be in full swing: the overpriced dinner for two, the crowded greeting-card aisle at the pharmacy, the cross-eyed stuffed animal/synthetic roses-wrapped-in-cellophane stand on the gas-station parking lot, etc. Valentine's Day is an easy target; it's so trendy to hate love.

More »

​In 1962, Neil Sedaka said everything that needs to be said about ending relationships when he sang, "breaking up is hard to do." It's simple in an "aw shucks" 1960s pop song sort of way, but the tune's direct approach has not meant the end of the break-up song. In fact, we've got some pretty dandy ones the past few years, the kind that make you almost forget that guy/girl/celebrity crush who just won't return your fan mail who ripped out your heart, spit on it and fed it to his/her dog for dinner. Almost.

Here, for your misery and heartache, are five recent songs that say everything about breaking up that you never could.

More »

​
More »

Myspace.com

The Cure

​​Not that you care, but last week, my girlfriend of 11 years and I broke up, which I guess makes me somewhat of an expert on the subject of really good records to listen to if you're feeling the loss of someone today. Like anyone who was with another person for a long enough time, it's nearly inevitable that certain songs, bands or records will remind me of that lost love, so here are five records I most certainly will not be listening to today.

More »

​Ten years ago, Jon Snodgrass was onstage at former Lake Forest venue The Gypsy Lounge. It was a Friday night on Valentine's Day, and his Colorado-based alt-country band Drag the River were performing to a receptive crowd. Then he--like many who have been drinking--had an idea that sounded amazing at the moment and not so amazing the next morning. Snodgrass announced to the audience that his group would play at the bar every Valentine's Day, and true to his word, they have. More »

​Valentine's Day may be a holiday made up to sell candy and diamonds and greeting cards, but it's still nice to spend it with someone you can actually stand to be around for a whole day. In the end, though, Valentine's Day tends to mean one thing: doin' it. And what's wrong with that? To that end, we've decided to include a super-sexy eight-song mixtape for your V-Day rendezvous. Apologies in advance if you are partner-less, but the songs are still great if you're flying solo.
More »