Top 10 Songs About Stuffing Your Piehole

Categories: Lists , Top Five

Jena Ardell

Thank (or blame) the FCC for becoming more lax, but musicians don't sing about food as often as they used to in the 80s and 90s. Pop artists replaced cherry pie with cherry chapstick and haven't looked back.

While euphemisms about food may no longer be necessary, even rarer are innocent songs about food. But we digest digress...

We all know Arlo Guthrie's "Alice's Restaurant" is the Thanksgiving song, but your Thanksgiving 2015 playlist should also include these kitschy songs about stuffing your piehole.

10. "I like Food" - Descendents

Chant this during your next dinner date.

I like food, food tastes good!
I like food, food tastes good!
Juicy burgers, greasy fries,
Turkey legs and raw fish eyes
Teenage girls, with ketchup too!

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Six Reasons We Will Always Love Boyz II Men

You don't have to beg. We'll forever forgive you.
We never realized the first time Motownphilly played on our car stereo that Boyz II Men would become one of our all-time favorite things to come out of the 90's. But they are. And in an era where people are listening to auto-tuned overload or watching Miley shoot lasers out of her tits on stage, Boyz II Men continue to keep it real without gimmicks and/or a hologram.

What started as a four man group (Nathan Morris, Wanya Morris, Michael McCary, and Shawn Stockman) may have dwindled down to three but regardless of the man count, we genuinely feel that the impact they have had on R&B is absolutely timeless. Armed with their newest album "Collide" as extra ammo and an upcoming date at the House of Blues in Anaheim on September 10th, Boyz II Men is also sending a powerful message to all of the young bucks out there and that message is: great music equals longevity.

As super huge fans of the guys who make up Boyz II Men, we wanted to show our love by listing our six reasons (As in the 76ers. Get it?) as to why they have remained in our heart of hearts and why we think people from young to old will always love them.

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Five 2005 Pop Tunes We'll Never Escape From

Don't cha wish you never had to hear this song again?
Now that we are halfway through January 2015 (time is already flying huh?) we can't help but to look back and notice that a lot of things seem so far away. One thing in particular that stands out to us is the music. Especially from let's say, 2005. You may find yourself questioning the clothes you used to rock, the hairstyle you specifically asked for at the barber, but mostly, the music you thought was the absolute shit. You can go ahead and deny that you cranked these tracks up but we know better because trust us, we did too. And yes, years later we aren't proud of it either. With this list we're going to delve into some of the hits that we all were bumping a mere ten years ago. Do these songs stand the test of time? If you're anything like us then you are cringing just imagining where you were in 2005 when you loved a few of them so much.

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Top Five Comics to Watch Out For in 2015

Categories: Comedy, Top Five

There's no shortage of ways to be a comedian these days. But no amount of viral video fame, funny status updates or Twitter wit compares to the unforgiving art of stand-up. Becoming a comedian doesn't happen overnight so with our picks for the "Top Five Comics to Watch Out For," we tend to pump up people who have the passion and the push to get out there a do as many shows as they can in order to fulfill their dream. We know that there are plenty of people who do just that and we admire them for it alas, we could only choose five. So here's who we think you should be on the lookout for in 2015

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The Best Gay Rap Songs

Murs- Animal Style
Scrolling through our past Weekly listicles, we noticed that there is a topic that we haven't touched. Gay rap. Hip-hop is riddled with many topics, many different voices, and in case you didn't realize, some of these rhymers lacing tracks with sick flows are openly gay. So with that, we're stepping into that very arena with our breakdown of the Top 5 Five Gay Rap Songs.

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The Best Local EDM Shows in October

Courtesy of Insomniac
Escape From Wonderland 2013 

Next to New Year's Eve, Halloween is probably the second biggest party night of the year. But with the copious amount of party goers come the amateurs who aren't really there for the music and are just looking to rage the night away. Sure there are plenty of epic Halloween EDM shows this year (we'll get to that list later), but we suggest saving some of your dancing budget for some of these top five electronic dance music shows that should also be on your radar. From trance fans to the biggest bass music massive, we've got you covered this month all the way up to All Hallows Eve.

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The Five Douchiest Sports Injuries According to Jay Mohr

Christopher Victorio
Let the big men do the celebrating.
Jay Mohr rips it up on the stand-up stage and on the big and small screen but really, by now you already knew that so we won't go on and on. Hopefully by now you also know that Mohr is the man when it comes to sports, hence why his show "Jay Mohr Sports" on Fox Sports Radio has been such a huge hit. Since he has an upcoming show at the Irvine Improv this weekend (October 3rd through 5th), we decided to collide his worlds by hitting him up for his picks on the "Top Five Douchiest Sports Injuries." We knew that Jay would have no problem highlighting the humor of the arrogant souls in this list so grab your tickets to his show (seriously, what are you waiting for?) and check out what our buddy Jay had to say.

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The Best Hip-Hop Stripper Anthems

The allure of an exotic dancer can be irresistible, and nothing screams, "I want to make it last forever...or just for the night" like penning a song dedicated to the craft of poppin' that thang. Whether you make it rain with dollars or make it hail with quarters (cheap bastards), the sultry shaking of a dancer's hips can be the gateway to the champagne room for some and for others, an ode to the art. Like with this list we compiled for you. Grab your champagne for the campaign and get a little bounce in that bootie with our picks for the Best Hip-Hop Stripper Anthems.

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The Deconstruction of Comedian Grant Cotter

I legit wiggled out of the straight jacket.
Around the halls of the Weekly, we love us some Grant Cotter. We've watched this OC native go from the stand-up stage, to MTV, and now, to winning himself some time on one of the most stacked comedy tours that we've ever seen, the Oddball Comedy and Curiosity Festival. Proud? Hell yeah. Do we still want to pick on him though? Totally. So while we wait for the big event this weekend that includes Louis C.K., Sarah Silverman, Chris Hardwick, Aziz Ansari, Jeff Ross, and Marc Maron among others, we tapped him to pick on his act. Or better yet, pick apart his act. It's not an easy feat to critique material that you have written yourself but, we knew that Grant would be up for the challenge and nail it to the wall.

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Five Songs You Shouldn't Play at Your Wedding. (Or Should You?) According to Jen Murphy

Because really, what's wrong a little blood on your garter belt?
Comedian Jen Murphy knows a thing or two about marriage. Wait. No she doesn't. She does however know something about marrying hilarious bits to the stand-up stage and truth be told, it seems like a union that will never end in divorce. Being that she's a favorite of the Weekly (as well as one of our "Five Comics to Watch Out For in 2014") and has a headlining gig at the Irvine Improv this Sunday July 27th, we decided to meld these two worlds and see if she could come up with something that was completely out of her realm. Musical marriage material. With her non-knowing knowledge about wedding planning but her knowledge of "funny" being spot-on, we got Jen to give us her picks for "Five Songs You Shouldn't Play at Your Wedding. Or Should You?"

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