matt Oliver/OC Weekly

"Since no one is here, more cranberry vodkas for us!"

See also:
*Dr Dre, Snoop Dogg and Tupac's Hologram
*Top Ten Awkward Coachella Dance Move GIFs
*Coachella: Five Signs You're An Aging Hipster
*Radiohead at Coachella: No Alarms and No Surprises

You'd think all the free swag at the invite-only Coachella parties would inspire people to rage harder, but no. Even with free booze, free food, handouts of every persuasion (watches, T-shirts, towels, sunglasses, etc) from high-end companies such as Lacoste, Armani Exchange and Adidas, there were still some pretty empty parties. Maybe it was the chillier-than-usual weather, or the fact that people were saving their energy for weekend 2. That said, it did not stop these people from partying hard by themselves. Here is our Coachella edition of people raging alone at parties.
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According to Rolling Stone, Limp Bizkit singer Fred Durst is developing an autobiographical sitcom called Douchebag, news that prompted dozens of show-biz bloggers to declare it the most accurate sitcom title ever.

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The US Postal Service, desperate to stop 15 years of bleeding caused by email and private competitors, announced that it will soon feature living people on stamps (the post office has long had a policy of placing only the dead on postage).

Of interest to this column, the USPS will consider featuring musicians on postage and even allow the public to vote on who gets to appear.

We fully expect established acts like Bob Dylan and Stevie Wonder to make the final cut. We think that's a shame. Today we suggest ten performers that are way more fitting to occupy the upper-right corner of all the collection notices and 2-for-1 car wash coupons we get just about every day. More >>

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You know the rules. An insult has been hurled, feelings have been bruised, and now a challenge has been issued - a fistfight will be going down after school on the playground, between the jungle gym and the swings.

The participants are the pop bands Hanson and the Kings of Leon, famous for each being comprised of three brothers (plus one cousin, in the case of the Kings).

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On Saturday, while you're sleeping in or making a run to Trader Joe's for vegan pizza, there'll be more important things going on in the world. Yeah, it's Kim Kardashian's wedding! We know you could probably care less, but these multimillion-dollar Hollywood weddings only happen once every...month?

Since this wedding will be televised in a two-day E! event, we're sure some big musical heavyweights will be performing (or at least some well-known DJ will be mounted on a huge platform) at the $29-million estate in Montecito which is where the wedding is being held. And since we already have some inclination of what the wedding playlist might include, we definitely know what songs will NOT be making the cut:

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What was once (and still could be, who the hell knows)

​ There some people who are blinded by love, then there others who are addicted to it--sadly Marc Anthony and Jennifer Lopez are each of these things, respectively.

Some were surprised when the pair announced their separation less than a week ago, mostly because the two were seen on just about every channel promoting their various endeavors from American Idol, to Gucci ads, and new dance tracks, all helmed by J.Lo. However, they both are working on a new reality show called Q'Viva!, an American Idol-like show with a Latino spin, of course, and have vowed to continue to proceed with through their separation. Awkward!

So as we bid-adios to one of our favorite power couples (we wouldn't put it past them to pull this off as a publicity stunt, perhaps reconcile during their show launch), we sincerely ask Marc Anthony, how could you have missed the signs? (Yes, we are thinking this is all Lopez' doing considering her track record).

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This morning, Prince announced that he's performing the next three shows of his Welcome 2 America Live: 21 Nite Stand tour, all at the House of Blues Sunset (albeit at different spots within the venue). Tickets went on sale at Ticketmaster.com and LiveNation.com. The Music Hall show will be at 8 p.m., the Jazz Café at the Porch Restaurant show at 11 p.m. and a private charity event in the Foundation Room at 1 a.m. The tickets are gone (who wouldn't want to see Prince at such an intimate venue?), but at least one group of people are unhappy about it.

Grateful Dead tribute band Cubensis was dumped in favor of Prince tonight; they were booked with a Bob Dylan tribute for a "Dylan's 70th Birthday Party" event. Unfortunately, they were told just last night of the schedule change.

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​Limp Bizkit announced that their first record in eight years, Gold Cobra, will be released on June 28 (coinciding with a tour of Europe, where they inexplicably maintain a fan base).

Here in the US, it's a different story, with Fred Durst and company derided for the last decade as everything from "honky metal" and "trailer core" to "amplified defecation."

Whatever abusive label has been applied to Limp Bizkit, one thing is certain--records like Three Dollar Bill, Y'all$ and Significant Other are regarded by millions of 20something men as the most embarrassing selections in their dusty collection of Clinton-era CDs.

We decided to locate the band's remaining stateside fans and find out why they plan to buy Gold Cobra. Of those not currently incarcerated for methamphetamine distribution, indecent exposure, or vehicular homicide, five reluctantly agreed to speak with us.

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Country music star, TV movie mainstay and lifelong beard farmer Kenny Rogers announced that he's releasing his memoirs this fall. Having scored an advanced copy of "The Gambler" singer's book, we present ten of its most shocking revelations.

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We know what you're experiencing right now. The thrill of getting on the road to Indio is too much to stomach (perhaps its made you barf already). You've strategically panned out your setlist, who to see, and how to get there the fastest. But somewhere through the mountains of people, under the unforgiving sun, or running from Caifanes, at the outdoor stage, to trying to catch a glimpse of Robyn at the Mojave stage, you're going to fuck up. You're going to do be that girl/guy that will be the subject of total ridicule for the reminder of the festival, and probably until someone replaces your dumb antics at the following Coachella. So before you get in the car with your flips flops and sunscreen here's your complete guide that will help you from being a complete asshole. More >>