Ladies, I've got a secret for you: Men don't like Valentine's Day
I mean, we just got over the pressure of the holidays and now we're expected to come up with more gifts to show our love and appreciation. And do we ever get it right? Of course not. We're guys and we suck.
But we know if we play our cards right, tonight's almost a slam dunk in the bedroom. With this on our minds, we're acting all soft and cute with our roses, cards, teddy bears and chocolates, but what we're really thinking about is getting naked with you. (To be fair, we're also thinking about how to get you naked on the other 355 days of the year, but tonight, the odds of that happening are much higher and we like when the odds are in our favor.)
So while you're thinking about how he went to Jared or how every kiss begins with Kay, plain and simple, we're thinking about fucking you. Just so you can't say I didn't warn you, here's the soundtrack to what's going through our minds as you gorge yourself on chocolates and white wine spritzers. More »