Should Waka Flocka Flame Really Be Our Next President?

Categories: LOL, Rap, politics

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"I'm dead ass running for president in 2016."
The Internet has been on fire with news that rapper Waka Flocka Flame wants to run for president. He actually said it back in 2012 on Twitter and even when we caught his official statement on April 20th (aka 420) that included, "The first thing that I'll do when I get in office is legalize marijuana," well, we still had a hard time believing it was true. Upon hearing from Rolling Stone (a reputable source, no?) that Waka's decision to launch a presidential campaign is in fact reality, we started thinking and questioning, how stoned was he when he thought this up? Is this "campaign" making a mockery out of the race for presidency? Will 'Murica take this satire in stride? How hard is it for a celebrity to get 5,000 signatures anyway?



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Twitter Talked Mad Shit On You, Coachella...Again

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Father John Misty
Like it or not, on-line chatter can't stop won't stop and when there's a big (ish) event, whether it be on TV or live in our hood, social media is having their uncensored say. When it came to Coachella 2015 however, we noticed on the 2nd weekend, the topical tweets slowed down substantially. We can only chalk that up to having a severe case of "we never really cared about it anyway but wanted to hit a trending topic just in case" syndrome. We totally comprende.

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The Best Comedy Central Roast of Justin Bieber Tweets

Categories: LOL, Twitter, comedy

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A suited and booted Justin Bieber literally dropped in and took his seat while Kevin Hart took to the stage as "host master" for the Comedy Central Roast of Justin Bieber. We for one couldn't wait for that little shit to get pulled apart. (Bieber, not Kevin.) Hart dug in quickly on Justin being a hermaphrodite, failing as a gangster, bringing up his (many) mistakes, and even let JB's manager Scooter Braun have it for being a pedo. Justin took his beating like a champ and the beating didn't end there as Jeff Ross, Ludacris, Hannibal Burress, Natasha Leggero, Pete Davison, Martha Stewart, Chris D'Elia, Snoop Dogg, Shaq, and surprise guest Ron Burgundy all took their turns slamming him with jokes that would make your mama cry. Like, a lot.

See also: Why Isn't Iron Sheik Roasting Justin Bieber's Tiny Balls on Comedy Central?

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The Funniest Grammy Award 2015 Tweets

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ROBYN BECK/AFP/Getty Images
Toro! Toro!
Another year of "questionable" music was met by another year of the Grammy Awards. Hosted once again by LL "lip my lips" Cool J, the 2015 Grammy Awards was riddled with an overflow of performances including Kanye complete with auto-tune, Matador Madonna, Ariana Grande and her faux-ny tail, a PSA (Seriously??) shoved in before a song by Katy Perry, bellhop Pharrell Williams, Adam Levine and Gwen Stefani doing a duet as well as Jesse J and Tom Jones, Lady Gaga and Tony Bennett, Annie Lennox and Hozier, Sam Smith with Mary J Blidge, John Legend and Common--it's like, we got it Grammy's. People can sing together.

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The Funniest Super Bowl XLIX Halftime Tweets

Categories: LOL, Twitter

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David Phillips/AP Photo
One of these things are not like the other.
Brought to you by Pepsi, this year's halftime performance at Super Bowl XLIX with Katy Perry was entertaining but all of the excitement was hardly on a stage in Arizona. A lot of it was on Twitter. Coming out wearing a flame adorned costume and riding on the back of a mechanical lion, Katy sang (and lip synced) some hits to an overly excited crowd. (FYI: Much like sex, we're pretty sure most of those people were faking it or were paid to be there.) She then brought out Lenny Kravitz to duet on "I Kissed a Girl" and as a surprise guest (that we all heard about last week), Missy Elliot graced the stage and pretty much stole the show while Katy played an awkward "hype man." Yuck.

There were also several wardrobe changes (sorry guys, no malfunctions) which lead to tons of pics of Katy side by side with a bag of flaming hot Cheetos, wrestler Bam Bam Bigelow, and Guy Fieri. And to be fair, a lot of people did enjoy the halftime performance (mostly ages 16 and under) but you us by now. And we don't care about highlighting those people. We love a good ol' fashion shit talking session so here are our picks for the best Super Bowl XLIX Halftime Tweets.

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The Best Comedy Shows of 2014

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There was no shortage of great standup in 2014. Whether it was a solo act or a jam packed stage filled with talent, there were indeed some standout shows. We were lucky enough to attend some of these notable demonstrations of pure comedic genius this year and thought we'd do you a solid by highlighting a few so when they come around in 2015, you'll be on your a-game. Here's our list of the "10 Best Comedy Shows of 2014."

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Funniest Tweets From the American Music Awards 2014

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Kevin Winter/Getty Images
Ummm...adult Depends much?
Pitbull took the reins with hosting duties for the 2014 American Music Awards and not to be rude (Haha, J/K), he did a better job with his performance with Ne-Yo. There were however plenty of acts to watch this year thankfully. Well, kinda. There was Iggy Azalea giving possibly one of the worst appearances we've seen her do since she fell off the stage at the VMA's, Lorde's spastic, uhhh, "dancing," a mediocre solo performance from Ariana Grande, Lil Wayne and Christina Milian SUCKING, Taylor Swift attempting to dance on stage (as well as off), Fergie (the fuck?), a performance slated as "a very personal song" by Selena Gomez, and J-Lo (who looked like she was wearing a diaper) trying to stay relevant by performing with Iggy Azalea (Enough of Iggy already. Eminem, you got this?). And just a side note here but, was everyone lip-syncing this year? OK, not you Jessie J but everyone else, WTF?

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Ralphie May Tells Me the Truth About My Love Life. And It's Brutal.

Categories: LOL, Q&As, comedy

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Mike Carano
I'm just trying to help you bitch!
I've gotten pretty close to Ralphie May over the years. I've probably interviewed him half a dozen times for the Weekly alone. I'm also pretty good friends with his wife Lahna Turner at this point (if you remember my last article about finding slobs on Match.com). If you know Ralphie's comedy, then you know he doesn't sugar coat shit. My latest conversation with him started by accident, but once May started dropping bombs on me about my love life, I just knew I had to record it and use it. The convo and the advice.


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Why Ariana Grande is Terrifying

Categories: LOL

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Instagram
By: Ben Tuthill

I feel the same way about pop star Ariana Grande as I do about kittens. Like a kitten, she is small, manic, and often has furry ears. Like a kitten, everyone in the world loves her. And, like a kitten, she fills me with deep, untenable terror.

Halloween's coming up (so is her show at the Hollywood Bowl this Friday) and the ubiquity of Grande-inspired costumes should hit an all-time high this year. This is not a reason to grin. It's a reason to lock your doors.

News reports have done nothing to quiet my petrifying fear of demon-plagued potential serial killer Ariana Grande. If she turns out to be a sociopath who takes over the world and destroys us, don't act like I didn't warn you in a completely reasoned way.

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Comedian Lahna Turner Unlocks Dirty Online Dating Secrets

Categories: LOL, Q&As, comedy

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You don't care what a guy looks like, you just need him to make you laugh.

Having a conversation with a comic can be a dream come true if you happen to be a fan. Or a total fan boy (or girl). When you talk to comedians for a living, well, one could say that is a wet dream come true. Since I happen to be lucky enough to do that for a living, I figured I'd hit a few of them up to give me some advice. Of the dating nature. See, comics are writers so they no doubt understand how it is to have deadlines (well, show dates for them) as well as having the "gift" of being in your own head all of the time. (Which can quite honestly lead to a few negative effects on life's views.) Add those two together and some people (me) could have a hard time juggling a relationship as well. I know it's kind of crazy (and hilariously ironic) to ask comics for love advice but fuck it, I'm going there. And yes, I realize that their guidance might be sick and might not be the best but hey, I know who I'm dealing with. As do they.

Lahna Turner has become one of my closest friends over the years and since we've dished incredible amounts of dirt to each other with zero judgment attached, I knew when it came time to try out online dating and fill in the profile that goes along with it, she'd be perfect to help me convey honesty.

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