Ask Willie D: My Best Friend is Trying to Bag My Girlfriend. Help!

Categories: Ask Willie D

[Editor's note: Rap pioneer and Geto Boys member Willie D answers reader questions for our sister paper, Houston Press. Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!]

WILLIE-D-PeterBeste-1219.jpg
Photo courtesy of Peter Beste
MY FRIEND IS SUICIDAL

Dear Willie D:

Since my friend broke up with her boyfriend she has been acting strange, and talking about how messed-up her life is. She is 24 years young, smart and beautiful, yet she is always so depressed. She says things like, "I hate my life" and "Sometimes I just want to swallow a bottle of pills and not wake up." I'm really starting to fear for her safety.

I'm always calling, and stopping by her house to check up on her, asking her to hang out, and giving her words of encouragement. We live in Dallas, but her family lives in Austin so I'm the closest thing to family she has in the city. I contacted her parents to voice my concerns, and they came for an intervention. But she put on a front, and they left thinking maybe I was exaggerating.

My brother killed himself when he was 17 years old so I know the signs [of suicide]. I feel so helpless. Knowing that she's hurting and I can't stop the pain breaks my heart. How can I save my friend's life when she doesn't want to be saved?

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Ask Willie D: My Girlfriend is a Groupie. Help!

Categories: Ask Willie D

[Editor's note: Rap pioneer and Geto Boys member Willie D answers reader questions for our sister paper, Houston Press. Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!]

WILLIE-D-PeterBeste-1219.jpg
Photo courtesy of Peter Beste
I WANT TO MEET MY SPERM DONOR FATHER

Dear Willie D:

I recently found out that I'm a product of a mother who couldn't bear children and a sperm donor. All these years I thought that my father just left me because that's what I was told. Now my mother has revealed that he's alive, well and lives just five minutes away from me in the same city. I want to see what he looks like to get a good idea of what I might look like in 30 years. Will I have a receding hairline? Will my metabolism continue to favor me in my golden years? Are there any health concerns that I should be aware of?

I would also like to have some quality form of a father-son relationship with him if he is willing to reciprocate. My mother has told me that she supports my choice to contact him, but now that he has accepted my invitation to meet with him I'm starting to feel cyclopean amounts of anxiety. Is my uneasiness a sign that I made a mistake by contacting my donor father or is it a natural reaction to meeting a parent for the first time?

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Ask Willie D: When Are You Putting Out a New Album?

Categories: Ask Willie D

[Editor's note: Rap pioneer and Geto Boys member Willie D answers reader questions for our sister paper, Houston Press. Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!]

WILLIE-D-PeterBeste-1219.jpg
Photo courtesy of Peter Beste
SCARED OF COMMITMENT

Dear Willie D:

I need help. I am 19 years old and ever since I can remember I have had no interest in having a girlfriend. I love women, but basically I never saw the point in being with just one.

The idea of being with someone exclusively scared the heck out of me until I met my current girlfriend. We have been together nearly a year. I love my girlfriend; I really do. However, it scares me even more that I think I have met the girl I want to marry at 19.

The old me wants to break free, and live it up while the new me wants to stay with her. What do I do?

No Interest:

Don't overanalyze this. You're afraid because you're not ready. But you don't have to be ready. You're 19 years old. You have plenty of time to get serious, and fall in love. I know it's easier said than done, but talk to your girlfriend, and tell her how you feel. You never know; she might be having the same reservations.

Staying in a relationship out of obligation can be suffocating, and cause resentment on both sides. So take it slow and easy. When you're undoubtedly ready to be committed to one girl, wild horses couldn't drag you away.

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Ask Willie D: Caught My Boyfriend At a Motel. Help!

Categories: Ask Willie D

[Editor's note: Rap pioneer and Geto Boys member Willie D answers reader questions for our sister paper, Houston Press. Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!]

WILLIE-D-PeterBeste-1219.jpg
Photo courtesy of Peter Beste
HELPING MY SISTER DECIDE WHAT TO DO WITH HER LIFE

Dear Willie D:

My sister is 28 years old, and still trying to figure out life. What advice could I give her? She has a high-school education with some college.

Sibling Tips:

Twenty-eight is nothing. I know people who are 50 years old and don't know what they want to do. The first thing you should do is examine whether your sister even cares about your advice. She might be doing what makes her happy with her life at the moment; even if it's living in a cheap apartment, playing music all day, and lying out in the sun at a community swimming pool. If you feel compelled to speak to your sister about her future, maybe you can suggest a job opportunity you think she might be interested in.

I don't have a problem with someone experimenting until deciding what he or she wants to do with his or her life. It's better to make the best of life along the way than to rush into something, and be miserable because you're doing what society expects of you. There is nothing wrong with wanting to see your sister succeed, but success is measured by the goals you set, and achieve for yourself; not the ones that others envision for you.


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Ask Willie D: My Boyfriend is Too Busy to Have Sex. Help!

Categories: Ask Willie D

[Editor's note: Rap pioneer and Geto Boys member Willie D answers reader questions for our sister paper, Houston Press. Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!]

WILLIE-D-PeterBeste-1219.jpg
Photo courtesy of Peter Beste
HOW FAST IS TOO FAST?

Dear Willie D:

I met a man and we instantly connected. Five days into meeting each other he asked me to marry him. I said yes because I had no reason to say no other than we had just met. Within 30 days we purchased a home and on the 35th day we were married. No one knows how long we have known each other, but him and I. I keep being asked by family members, how long he and I have been dating because they have never heard of him. Both of us always answers, "For a while."

They're putting the pressure on us. Yes, what's done is done, but we agreed after being together for at least four and a half years we'll share with them in full the details of our connection -- if they're still interested. Tell me, what are your thoughts on this?

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Ask Willie D: My Girlfriend Doesn't Want Sex Anymore. Help!

Categories: Ask Willie D

[Editor's note: Rap pioneer and Geto Boys member Willie D answers reader questions for our sister paper, Houston Press. Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!]

WILLIE-D-PeterBeste-1219.jpg
Photo courtesy of Peter Beste
CRYING BABY

Dear Willie D:

How do I make my baby daughter stop crying and go to sleep?

Sound Asleep:

I guess you didn't get one of those after-birth pamphlets they issue in the maternity ward that tells you how to care for your newborn. But don't trip -- I got you.

When babies cry, it's almost always because they are either hungry or have a soiled diaper that needs changing. But sometimes babies have been spoiled to the point where the only way to put them to sleep is to hold and rock them. If neither of those methods work to put your daughter to sleep she might be sick, in which case you should seek medical attention immediately.


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Ask Willie D: I Slept With My Best Friend's Mom. Help!

Categories: Ask Willie D

[Editor's note: Rap pioneer and Geto Boys member Willie D answers reader questions for our sister paper, Houston Press. Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!]

WILLIE-D-PeterBeste-1219.jpg
Photo courtesy of Peter Beste
FIGHTING OVER GRANDPA'S ESTATE

Dear Willie D:

Last month my grandfather died without a living will. As a result, his ex-wife --who he married after divorcing my grandmother -- buried him where she lives in Spokane, Wash., which meant that only me and a few of my family members could be there to pay respects. Before he died he and I visited my grandmother's gravesite and he told me he wanted to be buried next to her here in Queens, N Y.

When I shared the information with his second wife she refused to respect his wishes. I don't know how she became the executor of his estate, but she was in charge of all the funeral arrangements, and they haven't been married in over 20 years. I want to bring my grandfather's remains back home to his requested resting place. Additionally, I have inquired about details of his insurance policy, which is believed to be substantial. Not for myself, but for my children whom he absolutely doted over.

I was very close to my grandfather. We talked almost daily. I don't care about the money, but as a mother, if he was kind enough to make my children beneficiaries it's my responsibility to make sure they receive whatever he wanted them to have. This woman's egregious handling of my grandfather's estate has saddened my whole family. She continues to reject any communications with me. Do you think I should just drop it or get a lawyer, and take her to court?

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Ask Willie D: I Won a Settlement, Now Everybody Wants to Get Paid. Help!

Categories: Ask Willie D

[Editor's note: Rap pioneer and Geto Boys member Willie D answers reader questions for our sister paper, Houston Press. Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!]

WILLIE-D-PeterBeste-1219.jpg
Photo courtesy of Peter Beste
I WON A SETTLEMENT, NOW EVERYBODY WANTS TO GET PAID

Dear Willie D:

Three years ago I was involved in a major accident that left me partially crippled. Recently I was awarded a large settlement for pain and suffering and to pay for medical expenses. Before I could go to the bank and cash the first check, my relatives and friends came at me with a barrage of requests to borrow money. Some of the people who contacted me for money I hadn't heard from in years.

I live modestly so the only big purchases I made were repairs to my house, and I bought each of my four siblings a new vehicle. In the first month alone I wrote so many checks to people borrowing money that I went through two checkbooks. None of the checks was for over $5,000, but I was writing them so fast I didn't realize I had already loaned out over $168,000.

That's money I know I'll never get back, but it's okay because it made me feel good to help them out. Even so, once I started telling people no, most of them stopped calling and coming around. I retained a lawyer to set up a trust for my kids and me, so we will have a comfortable future. But I'm wracked with guilt for telling my relatives no whenever they ask for money because I know they need it. How do I rid myself from feeling culpable for their financial distress?


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Ask Willie D: My Dad Acts Like a Drill Sargent. Help!

Categories: Ask Willie D

[Editor's note: Rap pioneer and Geto Boys member Willie D answers reader questions for our sister paper, Houston Press. Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!]

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Photo courtesy of Peter Beste
INTRODUCING MY SIGNIFICANT OTHER TO MY FRIENDS & COWORKERS

Dear Willie D:

I am dating a pastor and in my opinion, we love each other. The holidays are here and we are about to have our first outward appearance. Our families know that we are dating and are planning on getting married in October 2014. Since this is our first outward appearance, I just need to know how do I introduce him to my friends and coworkers?

At this time, we've only announced to our families our desire to be engaged and then married. We introduced ourselves over the Thanksgiving holiday to our family as, "This is the love of my life." Saturday is our first introduction to outside people. What are your thoughts on how I should introduce him to my coworkers?

Outward Appearance:

Tell them, "This is the love of my life" and keep it moving.

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Ask Willie D: My Girl Had Sex With Her Cousin. Help!

Categories: Ask Willie D

[Editor's note: Rap pioneer and Geto Boys member Willie D answers reader questions for our sister paper, Houston Press. Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!]

WILLIE-D-PeterBeste-1205.jpg
Photo courtesy of Peter Beste
CLASHING WITH MY LAZY, ENTITLED BROTHER

Dear Willie D

On Thanksgiving Day, I got into it with my older brother as usual. That lazy 46-year-old manchild had the gall to ask my 78-year-old father to fix his plate. After everyone had eaten, were relaxing watching football, and my daughter was cleaning up the dinner dishes, he blows through the door late and wants my dad to fix him a plate. My parents are getting older; that's why I cooked this year to take the load off my dad.

At their age we need to be taking care of our parents, not the other way around. He thinks it's funny. I want to burn the skin off his face then make him choke on it. We fight every year during the holidays.

I know it upsets my parents and daughter. It's stupid and pointless, but seemingly unavoidable. How can we fix this?



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