The 10 Best Songs by Bad Musicians

Categories: Lists

Jim-Morrison-the-doors.jpg
Via Wiki Commons
By: Mike Seely
Stopped clocks are right twice a day. Geoffrey Arend is married to Christina Hendricks. Performance artists get federal funding. Canada is south of Detroit. People wear Google Glass and think they look awesome. Some things you just can't explain, like how really shitty bands occasionally luck into recording splendid songs. To wit, here are the 10 greatest songs ever recorded by not-so-great musicians:


"Apologize," One Republic
Ryan Tedder is a hit-making robot in the worst sense imaginable. Crafting melodies with the sole objective of charting, he's a pop-music panderer, whether for his own band or the slew of sellouts he produces for. But here's the thing about pop music: Bad as the listening public's taste can be at times, sometimes mass affection is warranted. "Apologize" is one of the times they--and Tedder--got it totally right. The song is reminiscent of Chuck and Blair locking eyes from across a crowded club in Gossip Girl. There's just nothing more emotionally gripping.



"Boogie In Your Butt," Eddie Murphy
This might be the most sophomoric song ever recorded. The lyrics--clearly the fruits of an extremely inebriated green-room conversation--consist of Murphy rapping about shoving a bunch of disparate objects that rhyme into a rectum. ("Put a telephone in your butt/ Put a dinosaur bone in your butt.") But(t), in a still-on-the-rise (this was '82) Murphy's hands, it's infectiously hilarious, and the backing band is funky, like Morris Day loaned Murphy the Time for the night.



"Demons," Imagine Dragons
Taking the baton from Limp Bizkit, Imagine Dragons seem to operate under the mistaken impression that relentlessly cranking everything up to 11 magically makes music better. Except on "Demons," where Dan Reynolds backs the verses into methodical Coldplay territory before the chorus explodes. Somehow it works.



"Alone," Heart
The Wilson sisters are rightfully hailed as feminist trailblazers in what was then a rock landscape completely immersed in testosterone. But that doesn't mean their music was any good. Yet on Heart's most powerful of power ballads, "Alone," all the melodramatic guitar-lickin' works, and the chorus' come-on is oh-so-steamy.



"Drops of Jupiter," Train
This song has been so mercilessly overplayed since it was released 13 years ago (!) that you'd be forgiven for considering it annoying. But that's not Train's fault. "Drops of Jupiter" could be 99.9 percent trash and it would still be redeemed by the amazing line, "The best soy latte that you ever had and me." But the tune, masterfully paced and lyrically ballsy, isn't trash. It's actually pretty good, unlike the balance of Train's discography.



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60 comments
usernameless
usernameless

Are you kidding?? The Doors you're talking about, 'run of the mill' and 'not that great', by whose standards? your own opinion no one cares about? yeah... makes sense. The Doors have much better songs than that, if you bothered to listen to anything else. They have good lyrics and were legends. Unique, not run of the mill. Stupid. 

happyelfs
happyelfs

"But with the Doors, we sort of knew they weren't that great."

-Um... Credibility of "Mike Seely" = gone.

ray_gun
ray_gun

Every song you posted is absolutely terrible (as well as being by bad musicians so at least you got that right). Except of course barring one of the pioneers of modern music The Doors with Break on Through, who not only were individually fantastic musicians combining jazz styles with blues and rock, wrote classic songs like The End, Riders on the Storm, People are Strange, etc. Going on to inspire huge bands like Joy Division, Echo and the Bunnymen, U2, Iggy Pop, Patti Smith... Need I go on? 

lynnlm
lynnlm

The Doors are bad musicians? I saw them, and they were one of the best bands I ever saw. Ray Manzarek played the bass on a bass keyboard with his left hand, while playing the keyboard lead with his right hand. He composed most of the instrumentation for Morrison’s lyrics, and he often cited classical musical works which were the sources of many of instrumental openings of the songs.

Desirée Martinez
Desirée Martinez

An other article to add to the dumb list of articles written by the OC weekly.

Changes Daily
Changes Daily

really the doors? pretty sure anything shakira puts is more garbage than the doors song.

Tim Centeno
Tim Centeno

Really? You put the Doors on this list? You guys are morons!

Debaser7
Debaser7

The OC Register called.  They want their writers back.

onyxnoir666
onyxnoir666

The Doors don't belong on this list. Your opinion is bad and you should feel bad about it.

tbone16
tbone16

The Doors? Really? The author must be a Bieber fan and therefore unable to recognize good music.

Brett Brezniak
Brett Brezniak

Whether you like the music or not is up to you. But, calling them "bad musicians" is just horrible writing.

Jennifer Carrillo
Jennifer Carrillo

Bye bye OC weekly...not sure of the hacks you have on staff when calling the Doors bad music.

Brett Brezniak
Brett Brezniak

The article should be "Songs I like by artists I normally hate". Saying they're "bad musicians" basically takes away all credibility. Everything is ridiculous here, including taking a band of very accomplished musicians (Heart), and choosing their worst song.

Alicia Friedman
Alicia Friedman

(*with a pick) Considering that's not what the article is about at hand, it does make him a good musician.

Stacy Lozano
Stacy Lozano

Lol, the comments, damn. Excuse you OC Weekly, u are NOT allowed an opinion. I like The Doors, I just enjoyed a very loud Back Door Man, and Gloria & Riders, those songs RULE, but I'm not mad at you, haha. Lol

Patty Casablancas
Patty Casablancas

How about a shitty written article? you gotta be an idiot to say The Doors were terrible....

Patty Casablancas
Patty Casablancas

Was this article written by some narcissitic asshole? Wtf...I can understand top 10 bad songs...but musicians? He swears he works for Rolling Stones

Juice OC
Juice OC

Why the Fuck!! is The Doors on this list

JohNny D Almanza
JohNny D Almanza

This foo is an idiot. What are you credentials other than being an idiot?!

beachhousemike
beachhousemike

I'd put this article on my list of 10 weakest articles by bad writers.

Peter Joshua Maciel
Peter Joshua Maciel

Classically trained and not playing without a pick does not mean you automatically make good music lol

Kathleen Rock
Kathleen Rock

OC weekly is clueless! The Doors?! Train?! Heart!? Are not terrible I think the writer of this article is terrible!!!!!

Lordly Lord Ryan Fitzgerald
Lordly Lord Ryan Fitzgerald

I keep waiting for this hack magazine to finally go under. It's coming. Pretty soon readers will tire of marijuana and stripper ads entirely, and then only be left with the occasional boring article that was written by some irrelevant scenester. I can understand how some may not enjoy the Doors, but only somebody that has no knowledge of the rudiments of music would say that the Doors were not good musicians.

Jim Morris
Jim Morris

How can you put The Doors on this list and not your mom.. your mom was the bluffer for color me badd.. go ask her if you don't believe me.. JA JA.. what did she say?

Jamie Schroeder
Jamie Schroeder

I am not sure if you were on a time crunch for submitting a piece and someone blinded folded you and told you pick a topic from one hat and then pick 10 artists from another hat, but you succeeded on getting some attention. You went all over the place with this, makes me wonder how old you are? I guess to each their own, but your descriptions of why it was a good song, bad artist is... I don't even know how to put it into words. Referencing Wilson Phillips to Heart? Saying if it wasn't for Jim Morrison.. Although Ray Manzarek was the founding member and his skill to create music off of what Jim was spilling out, even playing and keeping up with Jim when he was in a drunk-drug induce state during most of the performances.. I don't know man. Throwing in an 80's reference to a couple of 90's moments and then slingshotting to music now and somehow pulled John Tesh out of your butt.. Come on... Really? You should not be so quick to use the blindfold method when attempting something of this magnitude. I hope a couple of kids excited to have Facebook like this... Because I don't have the strength to push that button sir.

Cole Hodge
Cole Hodge

I would laugh my ass off if Yoko ono was in there, and not because she's a good artist. She just screams into the microphone

Anthea Knapper
Anthea Knapper

Probably just put that on there to get more clicks. Unfriended.

Kirk Burris
Kirk Burris

He probably thinks DJ's are musicians

vikingswn01
vikingswn01

This was obviously written by someone who thinks DJ's are musicians.

Aaron Gerding
Aaron Gerding

Break on thru wasnt even one of their better songs OC, come on! They had quite a few really good ones. They really don't belong on this list.

Chad Dart
Chad Dart

This is the dumbest article ever.

Omar Zavala Aviña
Omar Zavala Aviña

I can put up with all of your BS polls ... But you saying "the Doors were not great ...." Fuck you OC weekly ! You put the doors in the same bracket as Eddie Murphy singing ..... FUCK IIIIIIIUUUUUUUUU!!!!!

Cynthia Luce
Cynthia Luce

The doors??? How did they make the list of bad artist? And what's wrong with heart?

Julio Arana
Julio Arana

@mike seely wow your judgement sucks. Exponentially, probably jealous of Jim Morrison because he got more ass in 6 years than he will in his entire life.

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