Eric Schwartz Is Smooth When it Comes to Selfies but Not Technology.

Categories: comedy

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[Editor's Note: Quick Questions is our semi-regular feature where we ask comedians a ton of random questions without giving them time to think of anything funny to say. Surprisingly, they still do.]

Singing, rapping, beat boxing, dropping jokes and all while hiding a sick belly rolling skill? All of the aforementioned could possibly be what comedian Eric Schwartz does best. And as infuriating as it may be that Schwartz is fucking multi-talented, it turns out that off stage, he's a super humble guy with a lot more to say. And yeah, it's all generally funny as well. We decided to get some extra humor tidbits out of Eric's brain that is masked by a slick dome before he headlines at the Irvine Improv July 17th by hitting him with our Quick Questions game that we've grown to love so much. We don't want to spoil it for you...kidding, we don't give a shit so spoiler alert: Schwartz aka Smooth-E nails these answers to the god damn wall!

OC Weekly (Ali Lerman): Who ranks higher on your scales, Michael Jackson or Prince?

Eric Schwartz: Oh man. I'd say Michael Jackson because his influence is way bigger and, he used to sleep in an oxygen bed. He didn't really care! The oxygen bed is like a pure form of awesome!

Yeah so how'd that work out for him by the way?

[Laughs.] Yeah really. Well I'd say Michael Jackson entertainment wise but heath wise, I'd say Prince. It's so weird because Michael was like, I'll breathe pure oxygen but then to fall asleep, give me pure drugs.

Seriously strange. If you won the lottery, what would you do with the money?

I'd probably get an oxygen bed. [Laughs.] If I had the money I'd probably be so sadistic to myself. Like after I took one trip to a tropical location, I'd probably use the money to make a movie or something. I probably wouldn't take it easy for the rest of my life. I'd be like, I'm gonna make YouTube videos with this! I'll be the biggest budget YouTube video you've ever seen!

Did you have a backup plan if this whole comedy thing didn't work out for you?

I started as a DJ doing bar mitzvahs and stuff. That's why I'm so glad that comedy worked out because I was really getting sick of being hit in the head with party favors by 13 year-old punks.

I bet you didn't get sick of playing Ice Ice Baby though. I mean, how could you?

Yeah. And after the thousandth time you do the chicken dance, you're ready to become a vegetarian.

Mozel! Which do you like better, Facebook or Twitter?

This is actually a really interesting question because my Twitter just started blowing up so I wasn't really into until recently. So definitely Facebook because you can do more with it. I feel like with only 140 characters, you are so limited.

Well some might say that 140 characters is too many...

True. But Facebook is good because you can see people's pictures. It's just a more complete experience I feel. There is just more you can do on there.

Haha, every reason you mentioned is exactly the opposite of the way I feel about it.

[Laughs.] You just want to get what you want and get out! I mean as a performer, there's more you can do production wise with it. If I'm putting on a show, I want to put on a show! And I can put on more of a show on Facebook. The thing I will say though is now that everyone is posting these videos, it's getting more of my time. I'm just like, oh I'll click on this one and I'll click on this one. Then you are like, why did I click on that? I feel like people are posting videos that they shouldn't be posting too. The other day I saw a video of a woman who just realized that she was overweight, because she was on drugs in the subway. She was like, "Why am I so fat?" It was a private moment that should have not been exploited. But then on the other hand, I saw another video that was a ram running around in public and just ramming people. That was pretty funny. Sorry, that was a long ass answer. [Laughs.] So Facebook over Twitter.

It's all good. By the way, did the ram yell out "WorldStar" after it rammed people?

[Laughs.] I think it was in Mexico so they would yell, "estrella del mundo!" I guess that's the thing you gotta do now yell, "WorldStar!"

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