Five Songs You Shouldn't Play at Your Wedding. (Or Should You?) According to Jen Murphy

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Because really, what's wrong a little blood on your garter belt?
Comedian Jen Murphy knows a thing or two about marriage. Wait. No she doesn't. She does however know something about marrying hilarious bits to the stand-up stage and truth be told, it seems like a union that will never end in divorce. Being that she's a favorite of the Weekly (as well as one of our "Five Comics to Watch Out For in 2014") and has a headlining gig at the Irvine Improv this Sunday July 27th, we decided to meld these two worlds and see if she could come up with something that was completely out of her realm. Musical marriage material. With her non-knowing knowledge about wedding planning but her knowledge of "funny" being spot-on, we got Jen to give us her picks for "Five Songs You Shouldn't Play at Your Wedding. Or Should You?"

5- Mötley Crüe - Shout At The Devil

Jen Murphy: "Shout At The Devil" is so wrong on so many levels for a wedding. It is however perfect for the guy that you hate but happens to gives really good oral. After years of dating dicks that you thought you were in love with or might actually be your soul mate, sometimes you just find yourself settling for the asshole who's good in bed. When it comes to this Mötley Crüe song, it goes hand-in-hand with Fireball shot induced screaming matches and getting in some good physical pleasure, but not so great going hand-in-hand out of your wedding reception.


4- Pearl Jam- Better Man

You know you deserve to be treated better but your self-esteem still hasn't recovered from those years in high school you spent wearing a back brace for scoliosis. And not making the cheerleading squad so you had to settle for putting on a "ram head" and being a mascot. And showing up to Friday night post football game parties smelling like sweat and despair. Oh, and not getting asked to your prom which eventually leads to a post high school life of too much Jack Daniels and ecstasy. So yeah, I'm not trying to sound bitter here but "Better Man" is probably not the best choice for your wedding.


3- U2- Sunday Bloody Sunday

The only time it'd be OK to play this U2 song is if the bride is marrying the "forty-year-old frat boy" type that pre-partied way too hard before the wedding. This of course will end up landing him in the hospital because he thought it would be hilarious to enter the reception by slamming into his fellow "frat boy friends" like a mosh pit for his final hoorah. But as long as the open bar is still active, I guess a cheeseball cover band could croon this song because really, what's wrong a little blood on your garter belt?

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