We Ask Shawn and Marlon Wayans What Their Last Meal Would Be...Wish We Hadn't

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Kevin Winter
Of course Shawn said that. He has a very weak bladder.
[Editor's Note: Quick Questions is our semi-regular feature where we ask comedians a ton of random questions without giving them time to think of anything funny to say. Surprisingly, they still do.]

Brothers might come from the same parents but their brains can be completely different. As they should be. When you come from a family with the last name Wayans though, well it's been proven that brain is bound to come up some hilarity. With an upcoming stint at the Brea Improv June 12th through 15th, we knew these funny boys wouldn't let us down when we decided to hit them with up separately with a few "rapid fire" questions to see how these two brothers really matched up.

If you could trade places with anyone for one day, who would it be?

Shawn: I guess Bill Gates for a day might be fun. But I wouldn't want to stay him because I like what I've got.

Marlon: Hmmm that's interesting. I'd trade places with Jay-Z because I want to spend his money and use his penis to bang his wife. But it'd really be me in there. Not only would I bang his wife, I'd bang her crazy sister too because there is some perverted shit that goes on in my mind! I think Solange has to be good in bed. Anyone with wild emotions like that or people who are certifiably crazy...it really means they are wild in bed. Trust me on this! Every girl that ever tried to light my house on fire was good in bed.


If you were on death row, what would you pick as your last meal?

Shawn: Something that would make me shit for so long, it would flood the room. I'd have Raisin Bran, I'd eat prunes, spoiled eggs, and flax seed. I'd have one big shit meal that would run down the electric chair like lava. I'd make them have to clean up so much fucking mess they'd would think twice about killing my ass! They'd slip and break their neck on my fucking shit. I'd go out with a pfffffttttttt!

Marlon: Ohhh something light so if I shit myself it wouldn't be too bad. Probably a salad.

Honestly, when was the last time you checked your Myspace?

Shawn: I don't even know if I have a Myspace. Is that still around? I don't even know how to log on that anymore.

Marlon: It was when Justin Timberlake bought it. I just looked at it then and like, yep, this is still some bullshit!

Would you rather: live without TV for a lifetime or without radio?

Shawn: Well here's my question, would I still be able to listen to music? If I could have CD's or Pandora, I could do without either of them because of the way they're programmed today. But, if I could still watch the TV shows or movies I wanted to watch on Netflix, I'm good. I've seen enough reality TV and news...I know how it all ends.

Marlon: Radio because I can play the radio on the TV. Actually, I could do without either as long as I have my Internet.

What is one question that you get asked repeatedly and you hate it?


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