The Devil Inside the Balboa Saloon

balboasaloon1.jpg
Nate Jackson
[Editor's Note: We all know local music and dive bars go hand-in-hand. So in the interest of merging the two together on Heard Mentality, we bring you our nightlife column Dive, Dive, My Darling. Read this week as our bold music editor, Nate Jackson stumbles into the dive bar scene to find crazy stories, meet random weirdos and guzzle good booze.]

Even though the Clippers have been ousted from the playoffs, it's never too late for a drunken Donald Sterling rant. Especially in the bowels of white-collar Newport. As I enter the Balboa Saloon one recent afternoon, the sinking sun paints brick alleys and sidewalks a mellow shade of gold. The following salty chatter is the first thing I hear:

"He spoke his mind in the privacy of his own home," says one guy, slamming the bar top. "Does that make him a war criminal?"

"No," says his friend. "But trusting a hot 31-year-old makes him a fucking idiot!"

Usually, the opportunity to be just as crass and offensive as Sterling himself is the prerogative for many dive-bar day drinkers before scattering home to their wives. In this dated green watering hole--decorated with dusty long boards, mounted swordfish and various nautical flotsam--it's no different.

But I didn't come to this booze-soaked emerald on the Balboa peninsula to hear race-fueled gossip on current events. As a music fan, I came for the nostalgia. I'd heard Social Distortion's late guitar player Dennis Danell used to drink here. So did Madness front man Graham "Suggs" McPherson whenever he was in town. The INXS video for "The Devil Inside"--a cheesy, smoke-filled '80s romp--was even filmed inside these walls.
Not that daytime bartender Colby remembers any of that. He and I were both born a year before that video came out in 1987.

Shrugging off my notable references, the smiling, scruffy 28-year-old with a backward Clippers cap quickly pauses a drink order to bark at Dave, one of the regulars, who is trying to cheat his way through a game of pool.

"That don't count, ya piece a shit!" Colby yells.

"This fucking table is crooked as fuck," Dave argues. A sneer creeps across his mustachioed lip as he points his cue at his opponent. "It's crooked, and every bartender in here fucking knows it!"

A part-time movie-theater attendant, Dave is in his late 30s and decked out in checkered shorts and boat shoes; the local is loud and obnoxious at all times. After every one of his yuk-yuk one liners, Dave lets loose a hearty "Hooo-ah!" like " target="_blank">Al Pacino in Scent of a Woman--only drunker.


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12 comments
Michael Carey
Michael Carey

Coldest beer and no pretentious assholes. I know shocking.

Corey Brindley
Corey Brindley

first time I brought my gf there some dude swore she stole his shades and wanted to look in her purse. The bartender promptly sprayed him out of the bar with the soda fountain and got us hammered for free. It's been true love ever since

Jamie Cakes
Jamie Cakes

Jeff, Rod, Darla, Colby....good shit

Ryan Yadlosky
Ryan Yadlosky

Bartender Jeff is the man. Coldest beer on the peninsula

Michelle Thomas
Michelle Thomas

I started there underage too. Shantel Kiel introduced me to the Brass Monkey. We still think this is the place the Beastie Boy's song is based on.

Isaac Romero
Isaac Romero

Missed it by one block .. You want stories you go to the 47!

Krista D. Zimmerman-Silva
Krista D. Zimmerman-Silva

It was amazing. My parents knew people so I was allowed in since it was closed for the shooting of video.

Brian Gregg
Brian Gregg

Lived down the street from the Saloon for years. I love that place. Cheap beer, pickled eggs, hot dogs, pool tables and darts. It's a great dive!

Brian Gregg
Brian Gregg

I've heard so many stories abou that video.

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