Coachella 2014 Band and Drug Pairings Guide

Categories: Coachella

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John Gilhooley
Band: Motorhead
Drugs: Biker meth + rail liquor
A no-brainer, this band's name is '70s slang for a speed freak. Their brand of teeth-grinding, berserker riff rock was born in the nastiest squats around London, laying the foundation of the thrash-punk aesthetic for decades to come. So keep it real--the dirtier the crank, the better. Chase it down with a flask of the cheapest gin available, and hold on for dear life.


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Nannet Gonzales
Band: Foster the People
Drugs: Quaaludes
In the face of meh reviews of their sophomore album, Foster the People have been billed pretty high Coachella this year, presumably on the strength of a now three-year-old hit single. When obsolescence is the trip, 'ludes--a once-loved downer phased out by modern benzos like Xanax and Klonopin--becomes the drug of choice.


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Timothy Norris
Band: Empire of the Sun
Drugs: Psylocybin
They say the high desert provides the optimal visual backdrop for a shroom trip. Combine that with the splendor that Aussie concept-rockers Empire of the Sun build into their stage show (imagine Gwar's intensity + Flaming Lips' whimsy) and voila--the perfect setting for getting properly weird.


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31 comments
karma69usa
karma69usa

First of all, it's Michael STIPE, and being lucky enough to live in Athens, Ga, I don't have to leave my town to go to crappella music festivals like this one anyway, so there's that.

labmonkey
labmonkey

Very irresponsible article, certainly plenty of know-nothing kids go to Coachella every year and indulge in drugs but you should really think about the kind of experience they will have in this environment and really if you want to talk about drugs go to burning man and stop being a drug-poser....

dubyadawg
dubyadawg topcommenter

Awesome and hella funny!  If you have not done Coachella, shut it!  Lots of drugs already make their way in.  Coachella should sell booth space to various drug vendors for the festival.  The booths can offer drug/band pairing advice and a price sheet.  Discounts for university students!  LOVE IT!  


taidodinh
taidodinh

be fun there ready to rock out

Bny Nguyen
Bny Nguyen

Why would OC weekly write this terrible article? Running out of things to write about?

Cameron Reed
Cameron Reed

While this was obviously tongue-in-cheek, it is kind of sad to think that this is really what Coachella has become.

OC Weekly
OC Weekly

Is satire is always lost on you or just today?

Dollene Dicaza
Dollene Dicaza

I'm going now getting ready... C u Ozzie and the rest of Orange County girls like any other fest is about fun !!!! dude just be safe $$$$$

Niko Babic
Niko Babic

Fear & Loathing in Coachella....We can't stop here, its Bat for Lashes country!

Kelly Hughes Davis
Kelly Hughes Davis

I "let" my kid go to Burning Man (he's 25, thus the quotes), but I hope he doesn't tell me he's going to Coachella too! A mom can only worry so much.

Kathleen O'Brien
Kathleen O'Brien

Hmmmm. Not very smart. Encourage alcohol and drug pairings? Completely irresponsible.

Kevin Ells
Kevin Ells

Pretty much nailed it. I also know this is humor.

Nida Akhter Bharmal
Nida Akhter Bharmal

Is this article for real? Why would anyone promote something so ridiculous... Yeah it's at your own risk but to make it sound like an acceptable way of living is outrageous!

Lisa Fletcher
Lisa Fletcher

Really? Expect some people to mix these with devastating effect.

Raffi Zaki
Raffi Zaki

nah im going to Lucidity Festivals this weekend which is what original coachella used to be like before it became a top40 brofest 8) inb4 hipster

BadMuthafucka
BadMuthafucka

@labmonkey Burning Man is an even harsher environment for drug taking. For pros only. Go hard or go home.

labmonkey
labmonkey

@BadMuthafucka @labmonkey  Its a harsher but also more inductive environment no corporate sponsors, and plenty of more experienced trippers to rely on as well as organizations that seek to educate people on the matter like the zendo project

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