Six Types of Music Nerds We Tolerate

Categories: Cartoons

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Dave Watt
By: Rachel Brodsky
Much like the dreaded hipster, "music nerd" is a loaded term. Not that obsessing over vinyl, headphones, tour dates, and Dutch tape music will get you stuffed in a metaphorical locker, or anything--nowadays, nerds are embraced as society's cool kids (see: the San Francisco tech boom, the North Brooklyn music explosion, the mainstreaming of Comic Con, Game Of Thrones, etc). But being a hardcore music nerd? Unless you never leave the safe, weirdo beardo confines of Brooklyn, admitting your love for epic doom metal, chiptune, '80s college rock, or avant-guarde free jazz could result in a lot of side-eyeing (depending on your audience and attitude, of course).

Anyway, music nerds: Maybe you love them, maybe you hate them, maybe you ARE one. Whatever your relationship with these dollar bin dumpster divers, however, chances are you've met a few already. And, much like a music nerd's record collection, the very term itself can be divided into myriad sub-genres. Let's flip through them together, shall we?

See also: Six People You Should Avoid When Starting a Band

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Dave Watt
The Vinyl-Or-Die Nerd
This guy (or girl) has a vast record collection. Where they go, it goes. Are they moving cross-country? You know they're gonna shell out a few extra Benjamins to get that wide load on the moving van. Are you heading outdoors with Mr. Vinyl? Do yourself a favor and steer them away from the local record store. Once one creeps into their peripheral vision, you'll lose next three hours of your day. To the Vinyl Nerd, if it hasn't been pressed into a wax cylinder, then you may as well not even own it.


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12 comments
tom.pryor
tom.pryor

Why do you tolerate them again?

GrimJimCrowley
GrimJimCrowley

The only one that is remotely based upon reality is the the IN a band. 

nolanmorice
nolanmorice

Re: Audiophile
 

"His mouth waters when he hears the words 'Bose'..." 


WHAT

sceviour
sceviour

"His mouth waters when he hears the words 'Bose'"

"crossover metal bands like Baroness or Opeth"

Terrible, just terrible. Before you even try to be funny, make sure you know what you're talking about.

fishwithoutbicycle
fishwithoutbicycle topcommenter

Most of these lists are completely arbitrary, extremely arrogant and phenomenally rude. It must be nice to be able to pigeonhole everyone so neatly! There's a huge difference between actual humorous writing and just spewing rude comments for kicks and a few cheap laughs.

Greg Chavez
Greg Chavez

I'm a music nerd but I don't fall in to any of these categories. I'm just a guy who loves to listen to great music, preferably when playing it or on gear that reproduces it well.

Greg Chavez
Greg Chavez

John Cabello... A man who knows what he's talking about.

John Cabello
John Cabello

Audiophile and Bose should never appear in the same paragraph... No highs, no lows, it must be Bose...

Aric Villarreal
Aric Villarreal

I did the vinyl AND metal nerd thing back in the 90's, where I could be frequently seen in the isles of Bionic or at Wild Rags up in Montebello. So yeah, been there, done that. Sorry, kids!

crack
crack

things the One-Upper says

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