Ask Willie D: My Girlfriend is a Groupie. Help!
[Editor's note: Rap pioneer and Geto Boys member Willie D answers reader questions for our sister paper, Houston Press. Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!]
I WANT TO MEET MY SPERM DONOR FATHER
Photo courtesy of Peter Beste
Dear Willie D:
I recently found out that I'm a product of a mother who couldn't bear children and a sperm donor. All these years I thought that my father just left me because that's what I was told. Now my mother has revealed that he's alive, well and lives just five minutes away from me in the same city. I want to see what he looks like to get a good idea of what I might look like in 30 years. Will I have a receding hairline? Will my metabolism continue to favor me in my golden years? Are there any health concerns that I should be aware of?
I would also like to have some quality form of a father-son relationship with him if he is willing to reciprocate. My mother has told me that she supports my choice to contact him, but now that he has accepted my invitation to meet with him I'm starting to feel cyclopean amounts of anxiety. Is my uneasiness a sign that I made a mistake by contacting my donor father or is it a natural reaction to meeting a parent for the first time?
Understandably you're nervous about meeting your father for the first time. Likewise he'll have some anxiety about his first meeting with you. Go into it with an open mind and heart, but be realistic and expect nothing. Your dad might turn out to be an awesome dude or he could be a first-class jerk. He obviously made his decision to donate without a lifetime commitment so it's possible that he still may not be interested in being in your life.
But since he agreed to meet there's a good chance that he wants a relationship with you. When you speak to him be respectful and nonjudgmental. Basically you guys are strangers to one another so start off with small talk like strangers do before working your way into the big stuff. Ask about his likes, and dislikes, and what he does for a living. If his heart is in the right place he'll ask about your likes, and dislikes. He'll also want to know about your friends, school, whether you have a girlfriend, and your plans for the future.
Remember don't expect the relationship to just take off. Love comes with time, and shared experiences.
MY GIRLFRIEND IS A GROUPIE
Dear Willie D:
I took my girlfriend to a Maroon 5 concert and after party. Since Maroon 5 is her favorite band I went all out and bought a meet and greet package. I also rented a limo for the evening. The concert was great and honestly more than I expected from a pop rock group - I'm into the heavier stuff life like Metallica and Black Sabbath. After the show as planned we stuck around to meet the band who graciously signed autographs and took pictures with us.
Once we got home my girl couldn't take my clothes off fast enough. Her whole body was literally hot to the touch. As we made love she started talking about how horny she was for the lead singer Adam Levine. Playing along I said, "if Adam was here in bed with you right now what would you do?" Without hesitation she proceeded to go down on me. The night was fun, and adventurous but I'm starting to wonder if my girl is a groupie. What do you think?
The number one rule in sexual intercourse is "don't judge." Your girl wants Adam Levine, but the chances of her being intimate with the rock star of her choice are slim to none. She can however do anything she wants with a virtual rock star and you're it. But you can't be that guy all the time. He's a fantasy. You need to reserve him for traditional celebrations like birthdays and special occasions.
The next time you're celebrating something special, top it off per a special night with Adam Levine. Take her out to dinner, or if you're good at it cook for her. Set the scene at home with scented candles, wine, and of course a "nothing but the hits" list of Maroon 5 music. Make her call you Adam until you believe that's your name. When the time comes to make love to her take her mind back to the nights when a man would stand at a payphone until daylight talking to his girl.
Don't just put it in her body, inject your love into her soul, and make her beg for one more night even though the night is still fruitful. With this love show her the meaning of romantic misery as she pursues rapturous confirmation measured in hours that feels like a lifetime. Let the firmness of your hands, the stroke of your tongue, and the moisture of your lips be the wake up call that serves as a warning that she will be loved - and if she finds it harder to breath then so be it.