Ask Willie D: My Boyfriend is Too Busy to Have Sex. Help!
[Editor's note: Rap pioneer and Geto Boys member Willie D answers reader questions for our sister paper, Houston Press. Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!]
HOW FAST IS TOO FAST?
Photo courtesy of Peter Beste
Dear Willie D:
I met a man and we instantly connected. Five days into meeting each other he asked me to marry him. I said yes because I had no reason to say no other than we had just met. Within 30 days we purchased a home and on the 35th day we were married. No one knows how long we have known each other, but him and I. I keep being asked by family members, how long he and I have been dating because they have never heard of him. Both of us always answers, "For a while."
They're putting the pressure on us. Yes, what's done is done, but we agreed after being together for at least four and a half years we'll share with them in full the details of our connection -- if they're still interested. Tell me, what are your thoughts on this?
Life has but a few guarantees. Being drilled by family members and friends after you've bought a house with and married a man they don't know is one of them. Stick to your plan to reveal details of your connection later if that's what makes you comfortable. Although it's not necessary that your family and friends know how long you've known your husband, you should make an effort to get to know his background and find out if he is who he says he is.
Waiting gives you a chance to observe a person's true character and address any anxieties you might have. But like you said, what's done is done.
OLD MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES TURNED ME FROM AN ATHEIST
Dear Willie D:
I had a serious episode years back where I lost my mind. Although it did not lead to me harming myself or others, the event itself represents a moment of indescribable chaos that changes your sense of self forever. The event in itself was weirdly juxtaposed with some spiritual experiences that happened before I lost my mind; experiences which in the moment I didn´t recognize in any form as being spiritual in essence.
After losing my mind and getting my bearings back, I became a very spiritual human being. I had been quite a belligerent and intolerant atheist before I lost my mind. Do you think that it's crazy for someone who was a self-avowed atheist to realize that they had misunderstood the nature of belief in the mythic and divine, and thus become a believer in those very things they once abhorred?
No, I don't believe it's crazy to reach a point in your life where you realize you may have been wrong about your convictions. None of us has the right to impose our spiritual beliefs on each other, even if we disagree with those beliefs. Here's a toast to a double dose of blessings.
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