Ask Willie D: My Dad Acts Like a Drill Sargent. Help!
I am dating a pastor and in my opinion, we love each other. The holidays are here and we are about to have our first outward appearance. Our families know that we are dating and are planning on getting married in October 2014. Since this is our first outward appearance, I just need to know how do I introduce him to my friends and coworkers?
At this time, we've only announced to our families our desire to be engaged and then married. We introduced ourselves over the Thanksgiving holiday to our family as, "This is the love of my life." Saturday is our first introduction to outside people. What are your thoughts on how I should introduce him to my coworkers?
Tell them, "This is the love of my life" and keep it moving.
Dear Willie D:
I have three sons; my oldest is 14. Since he hit puberty his common sense has escaped his head. I tell him to clean his room, wash his laundry, or do his homework, and two weeks later this boy has not touched a thing. I remind him, and even find myself yelling all the time.
Then I find that he is still wearing nasty socks to school. If I do everything for him I am afraid he will not become self-sufficient, and depend on his someday-wife to do everything for him.
His favorite excuse is, "Oh, I forgot." I would love to be able to discipline him like my parents did me, but I would find myself in trouble if I did. I have put him on restriction, taken his privileges away, and lectured him. How would you suggest I motivate him?
First evaluate how you're disciplining your son. You scold him and take away privileges, but are you firm, fair and consistent? I'm not a big fan of spankings, but I'm not taking it off the table. Unfortunately, spanking is illegal in some states.
Although it's legal where I live [Texas] even if it wasn't, if I thought spanking my child was the best way to discipline my son or daughter so that he or she didn't end up disrespectful, a bum, in prison, or dead, I wouldn't give a damn what the law says.
The police, judges and prosecutors don't feed our children when they're hungry, buy clothes, provide shelter, teach life lessons and worry about them 365 days a year; parents do that. What's ironic is that if you don't figure out a way to effectively discipline your son, the police, judges, and prosecutors will.
I think getting him to do his homework and chores are doable if you remain resolute. On the other hand, he's a teenager attending school in funky socks. If he's 14 and don't care about his hygiene, it's going to be hard to stop that.
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