Ask Willie D: I Slept With My Best Friend's Mom. Help!
[Editor's note: Rap pioneer and Geto Boys member Willie D answers reader questions for our sister paper, Houston Press. Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!]
FIGHTING OVER GRANDPA'S ESTATE
Photo courtesy of Peter Beste
Dear Willie D:
Last month my grandfather died without a living will. As a result, his ex-wife --who he married after divorcing my grandmother -- buried him where she lives in Spokane, Wash., which meant that only me and a few of my family members could be there to pay respects. Before he died he and I visited my grandmother's gravesite and he told me he wanted to be buried next to her here in Queens, N Y.
When I shared the information with his second wife she refused to respect his wishes. I don't know how she became the executor of his estate, but she was in charge of all the funeral arrangements, and they haven't been married in over 20 years. I want to bring my grandfather's remains back home to his requested resting place. Additionally, I have inquired about details of his insurance policy, which is believed to be substantial. Not for myself, but for my children whom he absolutely doted over.
I was very close to my grandfather. We talked almost daily. I don't care about the money, but as a mother, if he was kind enough to make my children beneficiaries it's my responsibility to make sure they receive whatever he wanted them to have. This woman's egregious handling of my grandfather's estate has saddened my whole family. She continues to reject any communications with me. Do you think I should just drop it or get a lawyer, and take her to court?
Get a lawyer.
DOUBLE STANDARD SOCIETY
Dear Willie D:
I'm a single woman who would like to know why is it that men can sleep around and be considered a player, but if a woman does it she's a slut or ho?
The stigma against women sleeping around has existed before our ancestors and will outlast our descendants. From the time we are young, both boys and girls are taught that a woman is virtuous. That's why as men to show our respect for women, other double standards exist. We are taught to open doors, give up our seat, pull out chairs, pick up the check on a date, provide, protect, and not hit women under any circumstances.
Sleeping around, whether you're a guy or a girl, is a symbol of immaturity. Most adult men understand that by the time he dates her, his woman will have some sexual experience. But no man wants to be the dude with the girl at the party that the other dudes are snickering at because she's been passed around. As with rental cars that everybody use, and abuse, men are wired to believe only a sucker will buy one after it has served its purpose.
More sage Willie D advice on the next page.