"Top Five Songs With Crazy Lyrics," According to Hal Sparks

"I don't know if I'm impressed or angry because this song is from people who weren't even high."
Hal Sparks was dishing up jokes and killing the crowds with laughter on the stand-up stage long before he took hosted E!'s "Talk Soup." He had a stand-out role on "Queer as Folk" and portrays the super smart scientist step-dad "Donald Davenport" on Disney Channel's "Lab Rats," but at the end of the day, there is a lot more that meets the eye when it comes to this multi-talented man.

Before his weekend run at the Brea Improv June 13th-16th, there was a whole other stage we were focusing on when it came to Sparks. It's the one he stands on with his guitar and in tow alongside his band Zero 1. Since Hal is so crazy clever, we felt it was only right to hit him up for his list of the "Top Five Songs With Crazy Lyrics" and as expected, he nailed it to the wall!

OC Weekly (Ali Lerman): Thanks so much for doing this. I know you rock out, not sure about if you do it with your cock out but you know...

Hal Sparks: Well I try not to because it goes against your book ability later at other clubs and of course being on a Disney show...well, yeah. And with this list, it's crazy lyrics like, "what the fuck" and not "crazy cool" because there is an important distinction.

Perfect, I lean more towards the crazy "what the fuck" myself anyway. Let's do this.

5. Genesis, "Abacab"
The lovely song "Abacab" kind of rewrote the rules on English like, everything is poetry just because we're on a deadline. I'm fairly certain that word "Abacab" itself is literally just made up of the chords or the song structure. So "A" being the verse, "B" being the chorus, and "C" being the bridge. So a-b-a-c-a-b is how you write the hit song Abacab. Whenever somebody is writing lyrics, and this is coming from a guy who has written a lot of shitty songs, some decent ones, and then some genuinely good ones...that's honestly how the process goes. Meanwhile Abacab is like, "No I can't sing the structure of the song. What a dick move that'd be. Wait, yeah I can!" It's amazing because I don't know if I'm impressed or angry because this song is from people who weren't even high. They were just in a hurry.

4. Christopher Cross, "Ride Like the Wind"
One of the goofiest rock songs ever, and I don't know if the word "rock" is even legally allowed to be used here, but it's "Ride Like the Wind." This is the softest song about a gunslinger in history. It's almost like the quiet one you have to watch. "I was born the son of a lawless man. Always spoke my mind with a gun in my hand." This is a guy who does not follow orders and who carries a gun everywhere he goes but yet, it's kind of like he's dozing off in the middle of the story. And you know you're in trouble as a badass when you need Michael McDonald to kind of reinforce the point.

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