10 Songs LBSO Probably Shouldn't Play in a Firehouse


Just like the Wu-Tang Clan, the Long Beach Symphony Orchestra is for the children. If they weren't, the group wouldn't be presenting a family-friendly concert Sunday at the Engine Company No. 8 fire station in Long Beach at 4 p.m.

The event, part of LBSO's "Sound & Space" concert series, is an interactive show featuring a brass band and the west coast premiere of a song called "Fire in the Big Top." The tune -- narrated by Bob Joles, best known as the voice you hear on the Indiana Jones Adventure ride at Disneyland -- "tells the story of Tom and Maggie, two children living in Long Beach in 1906, who sneak off to watch the circus and are surprised by an adventure they will never forget."

The LBSO's press release doesn't mention how long "Fire in the Big Top" is, so there's no way of knowing if they plan to perform other material. But if they do, here are 10 songs you probably won't hear.

10. The Doors, "Light My Fire"
There are countless women who would love to utter the famous "Come on baby, light my fire" line to men in red hats and over-sized yellow suits. Unfortunately for these females, a fire station is probably not the best place to make a sexual innuendo. Not with children around, anyway, so save those come-ons for when the kiddies take a nap.

9. The Jimi Hendrix Experience, "Fire"
Jimi wants to "stand next to your fire," but sadly he can not -- and not just because he's been dead for 42 years. You see, Jimi, these firemen take their jobs seriously and they sure as heck ain't standing next to any fires. They're pulling out fire hoses and dousing those sons of guns while your stoned ass trips balls and comments on the flames and the flowers and whatever else it is hippies like to talk about.

8. The Night Marchers, "Jump in the Fire"
Singer/guitarist John Reis seems like such a nice guy, so I have no idea why he'd recommend jumping into a fire. My best guess is his undying devotion to Metallica finally got the best of him and he couldn't resist. It's ok, John -- we've all done stupid things in the name of Metallica. Me? I'm still saving up to get that tattoo of Jason Newsted removed.

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