[Exene Says] This Is the Attitude of the Future Generation? We're Fucked

Categories: Exene Says

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Exene Cervenka
[Editor's Note: Exene Cervenka is a writer, visual artist and punk rock pioneer. The OC transplant is the lead singer for X, the Knitters and Original Sinners. Her column, Exene Says..., is her space to basically just write what's on her mind, everything from crazy life stories to political theories and observations about what's going on in this fucked up world of ours. To contact her, send all messages to askexene@ocweekly.com.]

Hello, young people of the USA! Let's have a little talk. Historically, and perhaps genetically, youth is a time of independence, experimentation, idealism, questioning and hedonism. It's clear you all have the hedonism part down. Good job.

A long time ago, I was actually 18! I've also been 19, 20, 21, 22, 23 . . . you get the picture. So I know exactly what it's like to be young. You, on the other hand, have zero understanding of what it's like to be 50, 51, 52, 57 . . .

Doesn't mean I'm smarter, better educated, more ambitious. What it does mean is I have more experience than you. I have seen more, been tricked more, played the game longer, seen the patterns. That's why, when I go outside, I can tell a chem trail from a cloud.

So here's some wisdom for the girls: Don't wear shoes you can't run in! I know you gotta show off your legs and make them appear as long as possible. Gotta catch that guy who will buy you another pair of $500 designer shoes, those spiky, platform, strappy things--you know, hooker shoes. Which is so appropriate because you are one. Sex = guy buys shoes. Anything-he-wants sex = matching purse!

But be warned: When shit hits the fan (looting, raping, pillaging, plundering), and we become a police state, you'll be a herd of gazelles, and you will get pounced on like easy prey. The guys will be stealing shoes--you know, expensive Nikes and Addidases--and they'll be able to run faster than your pretty, tan, young legs.

But don't worry, the Department of Homeland Security and martial law will keep you safe, right? Or things will just continue to unravel.

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