Ralphie May is Dirty and Loud.That's Why We Like Him. So What's Your Problem?
Credit his size or his controversial humor, but there's really no room for middle ground when it comes to your feelings about comedian Ralphie May. Usually, you either love him or hate him depending on tolerance for vulgarity riddled with truth. Of course, May wouldn't have it any other way. With an edgy and topical set that's delivered with a sharp tongue and southern drawl, Ralphie's crazy schedule makes him one of the busiest road comics out there, selling out venues across the country. How he even squeezes in time to record the sex-fueled and super hilarious "Perfect 10 Podcast" with his wife (and fellow comedian) Lahna Turner--while raising two kids-- is beyond us.
Mike Carano Why do people even bust my balls? I make people laugh.
A national touring schedule can take its toll on anyone, let alone a big man like May. So it's no surprise that he chose to take some time off last year to recuperate. But this year, May is ready to take his show back on the road. Known to do a longer set than most, you'll get more bang for your buck when he rolls through OC to headline the Brea Improv May 9th through 12th. We recently sat down with May to get an update on his health, an inside scoop on the podcast, and let him chime in on his love/hate relationship with the a-hole Internet trolls. (You know who you are.)
OC Weekly (Ali Lerman): You've been back for a minute from the time off, is everything all good now?
Ralphie May: Yeah, my shit was all mental shit. It probably was going to come off like a drug problem but there was no drug problem. It was PTSD so I wouldn't sleep for days on end and I'd have flashbacks to dying and stuff like that. It fucks you up, it really does. I had a hard time with it, I was exhausted, and I did over 311 shows before October 1st when I stopped for the rest of the year. That's a lot!
Have you thought about simmering down on the road gigs and doing a sitcom?
Oh I'd love it but they just don't hand them out! I've gotten deals before, we've gone to make pilots, and then something happens out of my control and they get pulled. I just go beat the drum Jerry Seinfeld style. Jerry Seinfeld had deals starting in 1982 and he had, I think, thirteen failed pilots before got Seinfeld. So it's like, if you're just tenacious, you're funny, and you make the audience out there demand you, maybe Hollywood will listen.
I love that you're super opinionated in general and you're notorious with it on Twitter with the trolls. They can be really brutal...
I call them the "new breed of pussy." Everyone is a tough guy behind the keyboard. They'd never have the balls to say things like that to my face. It's like, "You know what? I'll be here, you buy your ticket, you say your piece, I'll say mine, and we'll see how it fucking ends up, stupid." Why do people even bust my balls? I make people laugh. It's weird. Everyone wants to be a tough guy. I love do them though. I give trips away to my fans, I do like the technology, and I like the immediacy of it. I mean, I was getting news about Boston before it was even on TV! It's amazing sometimes.
Seriously, Twitter has changed the news game. Regarding the Perfect 10 Podcast, I still cringe about the story with your kids playing with Ron Jeremy's harmonica. Is it too hard to pin point your favorite moment?
Oh yeah I know! Now we have to worry about the kids having HPV, STDs, and shit like that. It's like, Jesus Christ Ron! [Laughs.] It is too hard to pin point moments because each week we do the podcast we are laughing. Like, Lahna just went and did stuff with this comic who used to be in the circus. The comic is bi-sexual and was so flexible from doing gymnastics and stuff, he could suck his own dick. So they're like, "Ralphie do you have any questions?" I was like, "Fuck yeah I do!" [Laughs.] Oh my god! It was amazing, it blew us away. Every week it's crazy because we do a lot of cool and fun stuff with comics, porn stars, musicians, and all sorts of people. There is really something for everybody.
Ralphie May performs at the Brea Improv May 9th-12th, 120 South Brea Blvd. 92821, (714) 482-0700. For tickets go to www.Improv.com. For more info visit www.RalphieMay.com, check out the Perfect 10 Podcast, and follow him on Twitter: @Ralphie_May.