Top 10 Douchiest Guitarists of All Time
6. Wes Borland
Of all the 90s alt-rock bands to be forgotten in the 21st Century, Limp Bizkit is definitely one of the most heinous. But let's skip all the nookie jokes and questions about what Fred Durst is doing nowadays and move straight to weirdo guitarist Wes Borland. You may remember the guy who spent more energy covering himself in paint and affixing weird lighting apparatuses to his head than he he did actually playing anything cool. And while we definitely have a respect for showmanship and want eccentric minds have their place in the spotlight, it's hard to pretend to be original when you're entire set is centered on meat head riffs in drop B tuning. The lesson: cool costumes are not a remedy for lame music.
5. C.C. DeVille
Of all the shredders in the L.A. glam metal scene, watching C.C. DeVille on stage always felt like we were getting a one-way ticket to Clown Town. Still one of the most egregious 80s cliches in the rock world today, the Poison guitarist was not just a douche for his playing and his looks, his behavior and addictions definitely gave him the reputation of being among the biggest egomaniacs to ever pick up a guitar in the 80s. And when you can look like the bigger douche when standing next to Brett Michaels, well, you deserve to be a shoe-in for this list. Whether it was stumbling around high on stage, getting in fist fights with band members off stage, his ability to be taken seriously as a guitarist is due only to the fact that the dude can riff for days. In this clip he appears to be so impressed with himself that he pissed his pants.
4. Joe Satriani
If he didn't come off as so quiet and low key,the god father of cheese ball 80s guitar lines might even deserve an even higher place on this list as the founder of the wankfest that is the G3 tour. Have you ever seen the world's most accomplished guitarists get on stage and ejaculate riffs on each other for hours on end? That's basically what this is. Aside from his history as a guitar teacher who instructed some of the most over-indulgent head bangers in the world (Kirk Hammett, Yngwie Malmsteen, Steve Vai, and more) Satriani is probably one of the few people on this list that can say he had a douchey song that had an indirect influence on douchey, award-winning music decades later courtesy of Coldplay. You may remember the copyright infringement suit Satriani filed against the band in 2008 over their song "Viva La Vida," which won "Song of the Year" at the 2009 Grammy Awards.Turns out the central riff in that song sounds a lot like his exponentially cornier 2004 track "If I Could Fly." Both parties settled out of court. One final note: Anyone who listens to his music in the car will automatically feel like they're in the movie Top Gun.
3. Michael Angelo Batio
In the pantheon of double guitar-playing riffmeisters, none are equally as spell binding and laughable as Michael Angelo Batio. So much so that winning the Guitar World reader's choice poll for the "Fastest Guitarist of All Time" in 2011 almost feels like an insult. Who else could they possibly have picked to even compete against MAB's lightning fretwork in the first place? There is no competition. Somtimes riffing on as many as four guitar necks at a time, Batio basically made an entire career on being a selfish prick who didn't want a rhythm guitarist stealing his spotlight. The next time you wanna laugh hysterically, check out the guitarists series of instructional DVDs called Speed Kills which also doubles as a manual on how to look like you just stepped off the Sunset Strip in 1984. Oh and when you watch him double teaming two shafts, er, necks on his guitar in this clip, try not to let your head explode.
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