Ask Exene: Another Tax Accountant Who Wants to Try Tranny Sex

Exene Cervenka

Exene Cervenka is a writer, visual artist and punk rock pioneer. The OC transplant is the lead singer for X, the Knitters and Original Sinners. 
If you want to ask the legendary vocalist for advice, send an email to askexene@ocweekly.com.

Dear Exene,

I'm currently perusing the back of an adult magazine and contemplating hiring a transsexual escort. After doing about a year in Thailand (my former job took me overseas), I became quasi-fascinated with Lady Boy culture, despite being a straight man all my life. I even visited a strip club that featured tranny dancers a couple of times. However, something about being with even the most beautiful tranny goes against pretty much everything I've ever considered to be straight sexual behavior. Of course the other part of me is scared the tranny I call will end up being some weirdo who robs me at knifepoint.

 In a lot of ways, I think it's harder to explore my fantasy in the States because it's so much more taboo and a good tranny can be hard to find, but maybe that's just OC. I guess what I'm asking is: Does wanting to have sex with a tranny indicate that I'm gay? Bi, maybe? Even though I never really had problems with gays before, it makes me wonder why I'm so frustrated about the idea that I might be gay myself. Any advice for this mixed-up, middle-aged tax accountant?

Love,
Stu

Dear Stu,
The label GAY seems to flash in people's minds as though it's a "BRIDGE OUT!" sign and your car is suddenly plunging into the lake. Man, why the hang-up on that, people? There is no black and white in gender. There are a million variations; nobody is the same on this planet. We are individuals. No, you don't want to get stabbed by a stranger (gay or straight or a million variations thereof), so don't be vulnerable and use your power of discernment. If you just want anonymous sex, I hear money works sometimes, but that's illegal. You sound driven by sex, especially I'm-not-supposed-to-do-this sex. I'm sure you will be successful at finding it. Most men are.

Love, Exene

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