Paula Poundstone is Pretty Much the Funniest Animal Hoarder Alive.

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People who take care of a lot of animals need to stay hydrated.

Paula Poundstone is one witty broad but she hasn't just made a livelihood based solely on stand-up. She's an author, a regular panelist on NPR's weekly news quiz show, "Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me," and her best role of all, she's a mom to three kids and a slew of animals. Frankly speaking, the latter probably gives her more material than any other job she has ever had. There is a reason she has staying power and a very simple reason that she was inducted into the Comedy Hall of Fame, Paula Poundstone takes humor to a whole other level. She delivers smart and sharp observations that everyone who's had the pleasure of seeing her will agree, has resulted in laugh out loud funny.

This Saturday (December 22nd) give yourself (and some pals) an early holiday gift by catching Paula in action at the Ernest Borgnine Theatre in Long Beach for a night out filled with this comedy mastermind. Warning: you better also make sure to bring your a-game because Paula has been known to riff off the crowd. Before she heads out to Long Beach for one night only, we got a chance to have a serious (yet not so serious) talk with her about the semi-zoo she keeps at home, her thoughts on word policing, and of course, her video's that should be going viral any minute now.

See Also:
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OC Weekly (Ali Lerman): I know you have three kids but as of today, what is your animal count?

Paula Poundstone: It's horrible. I have sixteen cats, two German Shepard mix dogs, a bearded dragon, and one ant left in my ant farm.

Wow. On an average day, how much of your time do you spend tending to the animal farm?

Oh I'm like a really unprofitable farmer. I do probably a solid hour in the morning, not to mention the "in and out door game" which takes countless minutes. That's always fun. Various cleaning up of retched substances all day really can't be added up unless I had someone with me clocking my time. I will say there is no one better or faster at it but boy is it a chore! I was out of my head. Never again.

You're kind of like an animal hoarder!

Yeah I kind of am. That's the honest truth. I probably am. There is a silver lining here you know. People give me a lot of cat toys. I have a huge gift basket filled with toys right now that even includes one of those water bowls that fills itself up. I might even use it myself. You know people who take care of a lot of animals need to stay hydrated.

OK last animal question. I saw your cat webcam and I was wondering if any of them have become divas because of all of the publicity they're getting.

Well there is definitely a hierarchy at the bowl as a result at the camera. I can remember though that my cat Haskell, who is long since gone, was in the Purina cat calendar. There was no living with her afterwards.

So funny. Regarding "Wait Wait ... Don't Tell Me" on NPR. How do you prep for the show?

Well clearly my approach is not the right one because I hold the record for losses. I get some papers and try to read them and listen to the news in order to be a halfway decent citizen. My knowledge of events outside of my home is directly proportional to the drama that is going on inside my house. And this is the house of drama, trust me. I do try to read some newspapers but not the week before. It's more like I read them before the show and cram. Clearly my method is not the best.

Do you know your track record regarding what percentage you've had right and wrong?

No but I'm sure someone somewhere knows the stats considering it's NPR. A couple years back we were having this ten year anniversary celebration of the show. We all came together and the producers started reading some stats that were very flattering and all pretty uplifting. Then they said, "OK, the amount of times someone got zero right." I'm looking around my table thinking, what poor bastard? Of course it turned out it was me and not only that, but it only happed about two weeks prior. I had no memory of that. So if that question had been in my lightening round, I would have got it wrong! [Laughs.]

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