Five Things We Learned From the Twitter Fuckery of Marquise Fivestar

Marquise Fivestar

So for those who have been totally unplugged from civilization and/or Twitter, Cal State Fullerton became part of some classic 12-12-12 lore thanks to a group of jewelry thieves and a rapper looking for some self promotion. On Wednesday, three suspects in an armed robbery and shooting at pawnshop in Moreno Valley fled in a getaway vehicle and randomly landed at CSUF. With police and media attention swarming the campus, a bored, enterprising rapper named Marquise Fivestar (born Marquise Cormier) had a brilliant idea around around 6 p.m. to start a string of tweets that made it seem like he was one of the suspects involved in the crime.

Of course, he had supporters and a ton of critics who blew up his Twitter handle nonstop. What better timing for an anonymous rapper to start dropping links to his songs to recruit new fans? Hurling a mixture of promo links and vagina jokes at those who challenged his actions, Fivestar became as close to an overnight sensation as possible in endless rounds of 140 characters or less. 
Several hours and 700 new Twitter followers later, Fivestar announced just before 12 a.m. that he wasn't a suspect. A douchebag stunt? Yeah. The only interesting thing to happen on 12-12-12? Um, double yeah. But more importantly, this textbook display of social media fuckery taught a lot of people, especially the media, not to believe every yahoo that posts on twitter. Here's five things we learned after the Wednesday thanks to Fivestars' now infamous hoax.
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5. What's the best way to relax the night before a job interview? Start a Twitter hoax.

Few things are more stressful than an impending job interview. It's the kind of thing that can keep you lying awake at night running over possible answers to questions like "what skills do I have that are valuable to the company?" Just before announcing his fake getaway from police on the Tweetosphere on Wednesday, Fivestar mentioned that he was about to fill out a job application and prep for an interview. After Wednesday's saga, he can at least add words like "mass social media manipulation" to his resume. That's the kind of quality any company looks for in a new employee...even a prospective Starbucks barista.

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Charlene Muhammad
Marquise Fivestar's pre-douchebag days

4. Writing a book called "I Am Not a Problem Child" doesn't mean you won't be an asshole adult

As more details about Fivestar leaked out as his Twitter stunt developed, we learned that this guy was actually a child prodigy. No shit. At age seven, he was already a published author, penning a book about how he successfully fought his school's plan to put him on medication and special education classes titled I Am Not a Problem Child. Too bad the rapper won't  have the credibility publishing a follow-up book since it turns out he kind of needed both.

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