3hree Things: Random Thoughts About The 2012 Grammys

Watch out for 3hree Things (usually) every Tuesday, where Riley Breckenridge, drummer of Orange County's favorite local alt-rock band Thrice, gives his take on life in Southern California as an OC native.

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Because a column that usually runs on Tuesdays should run on a Monday. Because the Grammys weren't spoiled at all* by airing them live on the East Coast while those of us who live a mere 45 minutes from where the award show was actually happening had to wait to watch it at 8 PM PST. Because wall-to-wall Grammy coverage hasn't bored the hell out of you already. Because all the memes haven't been exhausted yet. And because you care about a random brain dump by a musician who watched the show from his couch, has no "insider info", and has not, will not and will (likely) never have an opportunity to go to the Grammys**. Because we need more opinions like these. Because there aren't millions of them on Twitter already. Because the "close window" tab is right there in the upper left-hand corner of your browser.

That's why this is happening right now.

*For the record, I thought this year's show was one of the best in recent memory.
**And because I couldn't think of much else to write about.

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1) The Red Carpet 

(As a Google image search will attest, I'm no expert on fashion [especially women's fashion] so please take that into account while you read the following bullet points.)


  • Robyn looked liked Dennis the Menace in a Princess Leia costume and a pair of Timberlands with orthopedic shoe lifts.
  • Fergie wore a what appeared to be tangerine doily, and during an interview with her (and her face that has been Botoxed to the point that she's only capable of three expressions; a) surprised, b) surprised and c) mannequin) TV Guide Pre-Show host Chris Harrison said, "You look insane!" I think that was supposed to be a compliment, but I took it literally. And it worked.
  • Flo Rida has a what appears to be a child's hand growing out of his right earlobe, and his lady (for the evening) appeared to have a butt stuck to her chest.
  • Nickie Minaj did her best Lady Gaga. It wasn't good enough.
  • Bonnie McKee wore something that made it look like she had flowing locks of golden shoulder hair. (If Golden Shoulder Hair isn't a band from Silverlake, it should be...Braxton Chadwick from Golden Shoulder Hair?)
  • Some Russian pop "star" that nobody's ever heard wore a sleeve made of guns. I think we're officially out of ideas.
  • Contrary to what the above photos might suggest, I think a memo went out telling the ladies that the disco ball look was in this year. I've never seen so many sequins. CLASSY BEDAZZLEMENT!   
  • The taller bearded guy from Lady Antebellum that forgot to button his shirt last night said, "We're here this year because we wanted to prove we weren't just a fly in the pants." When in doubt, just make shit up.

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12 comments
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Stevierayvericose
Stevierayvericose

The Grammys proved several things this year:1) people in general are dumb and uncultured. 2) mainstream artists have zero personality and only try to capitalize on what they think is popular(hence all the retards attempting to emulate lady gaga and failing ((miserably)). There's still hope for the entertainment industry if The Foo Fighters can record an albumIn Dave's garage and still win a Grammy and a chubby (but cute) British girl who speaks like Johnny Rotten (but sings like an angel) can beat out a bunch of unoriginal posers and anorexic teenagers.

Elsee
Elsee

I love your comments about fashion :) I'm not surprised the kids tweeting don't know who Paul McCartney is, this is the same generation who would like Chris Brown to beat them.... What the hell happened?

FishWithoutBicycle
FishWithoutBicycle

I'm right there with you about Chris Brown. In my sad opinion it seems that Sinead O'Connor got more shit for tearing up that picture of the Pope in '92 than Chris Brown ever got for savagely beating Rihanna. That's "messed up" as the kids used to say...

Casey
Casey

Notice that Louis Ck won comedy album for "Hilarious" ? pretty awesome...

SACKUP
SACKUP

dude stopped being important when wings died bret...sorry.

SACKUP
SACKUP

MASTODON LOST TO FOO FIGHTERS? GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE.

ticky13
ticky13

The worst/ironic part was Dave making his speech and cutting off/played out by that terrible song from that terrible "band" LMFAO.

Natalie Lloyd
Natalie Lloyd

Love Bon Iver, but, um - haven't they been around since '07ish? Great thoughts!

TheNatedogg
TheNatedogg

Geez, how can someone honestly not know who Paul McCartney is? 

peaceloveunderstanding
peaceloveunderstanding

Nikki Minaj performance was beyond disturbing. 

Riley
Riley

I kept waiting for it to come around and it never did. It just got weirder and weirder...and then it was over.

Bret Hudzietz
Bret Hudzietz

I want to personally bitch slap each and every person who SERIOUSLY does not know who Paul McCartney is. That's sad, just sad...

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