Ten Musician Stamps We'd Like To See
The US Postal Service, desperate to stop 15 years of bleeding caused by email and private competitors, announced that it will soon feature living people on stamps (the post office has long had a policy of placing only the dead on postage).
Of interest to this column, the USPS will consider featuring musicians on postage and even allow the public to vote on who gets to appear.
We fully expect established acts like Bob Dylan and Stevie Wonder to make the final cut. We think that's a shame. Today we suggest ten performers that are way more fitting to occupy the upper-right corner of all the collection notices and 2-for-1 car wash coupons we get just about every day.
10. Britney Spears
Brit's a perfect choice, once you think about it. Aside from rare collectibles that someone bothered to preserve and are now worth a fortune, the majority of stamps are so cheap and disposable that by their 25th year they become wrinkly, acidic in taste, and foul in aroma--just like Spears.
9. Kanye West
We don't actually think this guy deserves recognition of any kind. We're just taking bets on how finicky, ungrateful, and psychotic his reaction will be to receiving what everyone else considers an honor.
8. Michael Jackson
An MJ Halloween mask (above). Or so we think.
He was the undisputed King of Pop, or so he always claimed, and he's still selling records and getting a lot of media coverage two years after death, so it's a safe bet that his stamp is on the way. We're okay with it, seeing how influential he's been over the last 40 years.
Do you know what would be creepy? If a Catholic church used MJ stamps to mail out their summer camp newsletters.