3hree Things: On The Art Of Falling Down

Watch out for 3hree Things every Tuesday, where Riley Breckenridge, drummer of Orange County's favorite local alt-rock band Thrice, gives his take on life in Southern California as an OC native.

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Last Friday afternoon, I took a leisurely stroll down East Carson, a busy street flanked with bars, restaurants and retail shops in the South Side of Pittsburgh. Cars filled with people itching to get home to start their weekends sat bumper to bumper on the rain soaked asphalt, and the sidewalks buzzed with the pitter patter of the feet of folks walking to or from their favorite watering hole or eatery.

This stroll didn't have an objective, really. After load-in, I usually wander the streets for a few minutes, checking out spots for a post-soundcheck meal or post-show beverage, try to clear my head a bit, and get the blood flowing in a bangover and post-show stiffness riddled body that has been transported horizontally in a bus bunk from wherever we'd played the night before.

If there's an unspoken objective for any stroll, it's to not fall flat on your face. And if falling flat on your face should occur, you'd probably rather it happen where nobody can bear witness to it. East Carson Street is not a place to fall flat on your face in broad daylight.

I fell flat on my face on East Carson Street.

I wish I could blame a sniper, or a tripwire, or at least a small dog, but I can't. I just fell. And there was no recovery whatsoever, no trip-to-stumble-to-shuffling away unscathed, no stumble-to cartwheel-to-back-handspring gymnastics. This went from a full-blown bonk of the right foot to being completely airborne, straight into an involuntary headfirst slide on the wet sidewalk. A portrait of grace. Poetry in motion. Coordination personified.

I lay there for a second, felt the rain soak into my shirt, laughed, and stood up. And laughed. And dusted myself off. And laughed. And made sure I didn't break either of my wrists. And laughed.

I really need to work on my dismount.

It was another one of those situations that I covered a little over a month ago in my 3hree Things: Life's Uncanny Ability To Punch My Ego In The Balls piece. I was feeling pretty good about myself, my band was about to play a sold out show, the tour has been going great, response to the new record has been far better than expected, and then before I could build on a shred of self-confidence, life said, "TASTE THE PAVEMENT, DORK!"

Thankfully, I'm not alone. And thankfully YouTube is a goldmine of people falling of their faces. So in an effort to feel a little better about myself, I dug up three videos of people blowing it even harder than I did on Friday.

Before we start: Yes, I realize that most of these are fairly old (some more than others) but lets not let that ruin it for the folks that read that column that haven't seen every YouTube video over.

 


1) The Grape Stomping Lady Introduces Her Face To Mother Earth


2) Nobody Is Safe. Not Even The World's Finest Athletes


3) Walking Is Hard, Guys


..and The Bonus Round

To add injury to insult, my klutziness continued on Sunday as I split my forehead open on the sharp edge of a cabinet in our tour bus...doing nothing, really. Standing up, maybe? Existing? I'm buying a football helmet today.

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annika
annika

silly man.. a football head. haha. just by kids safety items (since i got them around the house i can say theyre good) theres some to keep them from cutting their fingers off when they put them in between doors. maybe that'll help (now i guess- for the coming germany tour :P haha)and if you would care, i could make a video of my usual day, i bet theres at least one injury a day caused by my amazingness ;)  take care

Jordan Olsen
Jordan Olsen

I was also in Pittsburgh Friday night, and had a slight stumble on one of the sidewalk slabs sticking up. I'm sure people who regularly walk that street are used to it, but I'd imagine a lot of outsiders who travel East Carson have had a similar experience as yours.

Adam Metcalf
Adam Metcalf

If it is of any condolence, I crashed in my kitchen this past weekend. I was amidst a game of Nerf-Horse with some friends. I was also in Bar-Tender/Host mode, and while preparing some bearded sailors (a delightful concoction I created, trust me, I'm a guy with a beard ;) the frictionless relationship between my tile and my socks got the best of me. Result = severely bruised elbow. Luckily, the bottle of Frangelico in hand at the time was unscathed. 

Dan from Pittsburgh!
Dan from Pittsburgh!

East Carson St sidewalks are pretty beat up! You played a great show that night though!

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