Top Five Worst Black Rappers Ever

Categories: lists
chuck_d_worst_rappers.jpeg

I bet seeing Chuck D's photo below the headline "Top Five Worst Black Rappers Ever" almost made you shit your shorts, huh? Believe me, I love Chuck D. I just put him up there to grab your attention.

Remember when I wrote this post about the top five worst white rapper ever? And then remember how a bunch of ICP fans (also known as "Juggalos") got upset that I included Insane Clown Posse on the list and threatened me with physical harm? And then someone labeled me an anti-Semite? And then that crazy racist dude showed up and started dropping the N-word? Wasn't that fun? It was, wasn't it?

Well, let's do it again! But this time I'm going to rely on my scientific formulas and pie charts (also known as "complete nonsense made up just to generate a laugh") to come up with a list of the top five worst BLACK rappers ever!

Will someone call me a member of the Ku Klux Klan in the comments section? Probably! Find out for sure after the jump!


5. MC Hammer


Not because he made the majority of his money rapping poorly over Rick James' "Super Freak." Not because years later he would return as an aging and foul-mouthed gangsta rapper. And not because he used to wear pants that could hold 49 dumps before anyone could notice any difference. MC Hammer is on this list because of his contribution to the soundtrack of the 1991 film The Addams Family... also known as the single "Addams Groove." It's a little known fact that this song killed Raul Julia. That, and his role as M. Bison in Street Fighter: The Movie. No shit. Look it up on Snopes.



4. Sir Mix-a-Lot



Odds are, you know every lyric to "Baby Got Back." Not only that, but you probably know every word of dialogue of the intro. Sadly, the lyrics are now completely ingrained in both pop culture history and our collective psyche. Doubt me? Can you read "my anaconda don't" without finishing it with "want none unless you've got buns, hon"? I didn't think so. The scariest part? When this song came out in the summer of 1992 it was No. 1 on the United States Billboard Hot 100 chart for five weeks in a row; for their year-end chart it ranked No. 2. For all of 1992! And in 2008, it ranked No. 17 on VH1's 100 Greatest Songs of Hip Hop. You may have been able to brainwash us all, Mr. Mix-a-Lot, with your horrible rap stylings, but you will forever be remembered on this list as being one of the top five worst black rappers ever! Because I'm long, and I'm strong, and down to get the friction on! Wait... what did I just say?


3. Shaquille O'Neal



Non-musicians dabbling in rap isn't new, but pro basketball player Shaquille O'Neal has released four rap albums to date, each one just as horrible as its predecessor. Shaq was set to release his fifth studio rap album on--wait for it--September 11th, 2001. If that's not a sign of something I don't know what is. After months of delays, Shaq decided to pull the album because... you know, we had other terrible shit to worry about. In those dark days, we needed another Shaq rap album like we needed another anthrax envelope. Still, he does have skillz... and he knows it


2. TIE: Flavor Flav / Ice T




Alright, I know I'm probably going to get shit for these two, so I'll be brief: I love both Public Enemy and Ice T's early (pre-Body Count) work. However, I truly believe that as soon as you do a reality show (Flav has three to his credit, Ice T is on his second) you completely negate everything you've done before it, especially when you built your career on being an anti-establishment, hard-assed motherfucker. "Yeah, the police are a joke! They don't care about us! Oh, and be sure to watch my new dating show on VH1!" Or: "I'm a new jack hustler! And I'm gonna prove it to you by beating the shit out of this Mac with a hammer! Hardcore!" Isn't it bad enough that Ice Cube is doing kids movies and Dr. Dre is pimping Dr. Pepper? Have all of my idols fallen?!?


1. Chingy



Sigh. Chingy. What can I say other than in addition to being a terrible rapper, his 2003 debut single "Right Thurr" officially destroyed the English language for the foreseeable future. Gone are amazing words like "there" and "where" and "here." Here to stay are "thurr" and "whurr" and "hurr." Or, I should say, "Hurr to stay....

Man, writing this post made me sad. I need another cleanse.



I feel better now. Let the racist comments begin... NOW!

My Voice Nation Help
30 comments
Drastikillmail
Drastikillmail

where the hell do you live man im gonna take a dump on your lawn man! you creep i know karate from watching karate movies man i drank so much beer . jerk. screw you man! i live in this camper in my uncles backyard and i need mor money for beer man

Drastikillmail
Drastikillmail

you just named some old ass rappers that were really successful except chingy, he always sucked, you aint even got a logical reason for everyone you picked

JackBrimstone
JackBrimstone

Really? you are going after Hammer for Addams Groove, but you are gonna let Tag Team Slide for "Whoop (the Addams Family) there it is " and "Pig Power in the House" from Gordy? what the fuck are you smoking?

Shady
Shady

Both completely valid points. Although, I kind of liked Tag Team. I saw them in concert once.

Oh wait... that was GWAR I saw in concert once. I always get those two confused. My bad.

JackBrimstone
JackBrimstone

I'm just saying if ya gonna dog on hammer, you have to mention both his Gospel release and his saterday morning cartoon with the magic shoes.

Steezy
Steezy

What about the top 5 most overrated rappers? Meaning that they have commercial success and everyone thinks they are the best when they are not even in the top 50 rappers of all time. Number 1 for me would be Jay Z. I liked maybe 6 songs on Reasonable Doubt and the Black Album but everything else is just bad. Number 2 would be lil' wayne. If you claim youre the greatest rapper alive when there is many legends still alive, you better back it up and he doesn't come close. Number 3 Wiz khalifa. I hope this isnt the future of mainstream rap. I would put him higher but he is newer which means he will only reaffirm my opinion in the future. Number 4 Fat Joe. If that dude leans back too far he might crush someone. Number 5 Nelly. I threw his CD out the car window on I75.

Shady
Shady

GREAT list, Steezy. And a great idea. Maybe OCW will let me do another top five. I guess it depends on how well this one does. Thanks for the comment.

Tibor
Tibor

Mr. Shady, I think you missed a golden opportunity here to negate the racist accusations from the 'Worst White Rappers' article.  You should have just used the same list for this article, and then when people said, "Hey wait, those rappers aren't black!" you could just say, "Aw man, I don't even see race, I'm so not racist."  Problem solved. 

Shady
Shady

HAHA! Best comment all day! High-five, Tibor!

Axshun
Axshun

wow, this is weak sauce...did you even try?

Shady
Shady

I didn't. Kind of like how you relied on "weak sauce" to give a dig. Your weak sauce dig was TOTALLY WEAK SAUCE, AXSHUN!

Oh, and it's spelled "action" for future reference. Where did you go to school? The SKOOL?

WuxNoo
WuxNoo

lol, is there any such thing as "good" rap? I think its all stupid as are those who actually listen to the garbage. www.web-privacy.no.tc

illegalamigo
illegalamigo

As a matter of fact there is such a thing as good rap but it's underground, listen to Immortal Technique, Tech N9ne, Ill Bill, Mos Def, KRS-One, Dead Prez, Jedi Mind Tricks, Dangerdoom, Grandmaster Flash. Listen to all of them then & so how "stupid" Hip Hop is & it's fans

illegalamigo
illegalamigo

my mistake I mean *& see how "stupid Hip Hop & it's fans really are

illegalamigo
illegalamigo

This article is pure bullshit they put Ice-T & Public Enemy yet he didn't put wack rappers like Soulja Boy, Wacka Flocka they should be on the list on number 1 & 2. Race dosn't matter in Hip Hop, Black, White, Latino or Asian if you are a skillful rapper I will bump your shit.

Whoever made this article can go fuck himself

Shady
Shady

I agree! The person who "made" (also known as "wrote") is COMPLETELY unqualified to make humorous generalities about rap or anything else! And he can go fuck himself because he's clearly SO DUMB!

Wait... what?

Doofidy G!
Doofidy G!

And he probably went and "fucked himself" 'cuz that's the way this reporter gangsta rollz! 

Shady
Shady

I did! I fucked myself HARD!!!

Doofidy G!
Doofidy G!

My bad. I should have typed "thas" instead of "that's"...

youknowthismaaaaaan!
youknowthismaaaaaan!

 Hey Justin. You are sorely mistaken with Sir Mix A-lot. Dude was actually quite a talented rapper. Posse's On Broadway is the a perfect example! I love rappers that can actually tell a story and get me engaged with whats going, Posse On Broadway was an everday kinda dude's jam because he wasnt talking about money or anything or big ass celebrity parties, just him and his friends cruisin! Buttermilk Bisquits?! Check that one out! If you can rap about a baked good and make it sound like a fun jam, i mean that is kind of the definition of talent. Being able to do what no ones else can effortlessly. Bad call with Sir Mix. He was underrated and typecast because of Baby Got Back. Retraction!!!lol

Adolfo Herrera
Adolfo Herrera

Yeah "Square Dance Rap" really showed off those fly rapping skills.  Really?

Shady
Shady

I love it! Great comment. Alright, maybe I'll have to pull him from my "highly researched list" just because of your post. Thanks for commenting.

tee-wee
tee-wee

Yep, putting mix-a-lot on the list based on one song only shows that you did no research for this piece. Swass is not a greatest of all time album, but it's strong. Do you not consider Will Smith black? Do you really consider Shaq a rapper? Dumb.

Shady
Shady

Heh. "Research." Clearly you missed the "complete nonsense made up just to generate a laugh" part of that post.

MayhemInTheHood
MayhemInTheHood

I've never thought too highly of Chuck D as a rapper. He's not a Top 5 bad, but he's closer to that list than the Top 5 Greatest. I thought you were getting ballsy, so you got my 'click'.

Fool me once...

Shady
Shady

I'm REALLY interested in hearing who your top five best rappers would be. Seriously, I don't mean that as some snide comment. I love Chuck D, and to hear someone say they don't really intrigues me. Please post your thoughts.

MayhemInTheHood
MayhemInTheHood

Trust me, I get the same response from friends. Maybe at this point, I voice negative feelings towards Chuck D just to get a reaction. I mean, you posted "Cant Truss it"...I bought that cassette single the week it came. So I'm a fan. I just think that, while he's always got good lryics, he just doesn't do much for me as a "rapper". He's a one trick pony. That one trick is pretty fucking good, but I just get bored of his monotonous delivery. Hmmm...Top 5 Rappers. I've honestly never thought about it. It'd probably be something like this:

Eazy EBig LShock GBiggiePac

The only rap i ever need, desert island type shit, is the Straight Outta Comptom lp, but I didn't want to name a group(otherwise I also would've named Ghetto Boys). Also, my second favorite all time is Jurassic 5(Quality Control is second only to Straight Outta...), but I think for arguments sake we're sticking to "rap", as opposed to hip hop/backpack type stuff.

Shady
Shady

Good list. And I love that you included J5, even though they are more hip hop than rap, I guess. Thanks for the comment. I actually really enjoy the dialogue about music, even if they pay me to be mostly ridiculous.

Now Trending

From the Vault

 

Events

Anaheim Event Tickets
Loading...