Four Things to Do Instead of Seeing U2

bono.jpg


Surely you've heard of U2, which means I don't need to tell you who they are. If you don't, there's this thing called Google. Give it a shot.

Anyway, this band U2 is playing tonight and Saturday at Angel Stadium of Anaheim and lots of yuppies who go to one concert every four years are very excited. So excited, in fact, that they've been in line for a long frickin' time. People such as myself, aka people who like good music, aren't going to see U2.

And because I'm a nice guy, I'm here to offer some tips on things to do instead of wasting hundreds of dollars on tickets (and overpriced beers and parking) and time trying to see a group that, let's face it, sucks.
1. Buy a U2 record and listen to it at home.
Unlike the rest of this list, this first piece of advice is actual advice. Let's say you like U2. Chances are, you aren't going to see them at all because all the corporate CEOs buy all the tickets in front. This means the average Joe is stuck in the nosebleed seats where you will watch Bono from a big screen and get confused when the words he's mouthing and the words yo hear don't match up. If you're going to deal with the hassle of going to see U2 only to not see U2, don't go. Instead, buy The Joshua Tree (or whatever the fuck it's called), get a good pair of headphones, some wine (normally I'd suggest weed, but if you're listening to U2, you aren't that cool) and listen at home. Maybe even throw own a U2 slideshow on the ol' laptop and pretend like you are there. Trust me: This will be way more fun.

2. Discover new music.
People who like U2 are (and I'm generalizing here) the types who own four CDs, the sort who say, "You know, I don't really like music." They come to U2 as a default because they think that's what the rest of us like. Well, we don't. So go to a record store (I'd suggest TKO and ask for Mark. Tell him I sent you. Dude knows a lot about good music) and tell the person behind the counter, "Excuse me. My hearing sucks. I like U2. Can you fix that for me?" Chances are, they can. Pretty soon, you'll be digging on new, good tunes and you'll wonder how in the hell a group can get so popular with such a boring rhythm section.
u2 bass player.jpg

3. Watch The Inbetweeners.
If it's cross-Atlantic culture you desire, get on the Intranets (it's a series of tubes, ya know) and look for episodes of BBC's The Inbetweeners. It's a show about four not-so-cool-yet-not-totally-lame high school kids in England. You can watch all the episodes by clicking here. There's a movie coming out soon and, just like Borat, you want to be able to say you were there first. Plus, you get to learn all this awesome British slang such as "clunge," "bent" and "briefcase wanker."

4. Anything else.
Seriously, other than killing yourself (which I do not recommend), doing anything else is better than seeing U2. Ladies -- I'm single. You can give me a call. Fellas -- I'm single. Let's party. Maybe your car needs washing or a desk is in dire need of reorganizing. You could write a letter to a friend or invite your mom out to dinner. Go for a walk. Go for a drive. Go for a swim. Go the the bar. Go to hell. Whatever. It doesn't really matter because I guarantee it's better than seeing U2. On a side note, if you are suicidal, definitely do not go see U2.
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17 comments
Sudaskcr
Sudaskcr

i'm seiing u2 JUly 19th. i've run into some bad times as many as of have over the last few years. it would be rididculous to meet them so i'm asking and praying that u2 fans help me in trying to get u2 to help my family. i lost my job at my family business. we had to sell and i am now living off food stamps and want a better life for my kids. i have had my struggles with addiction and u2 has litterally kept me alive. i know this is a longshot but somehow i hope this gets back to the band even if only to be read. thanx   david bowerbank

anthrogurl12
anthrogurl12

What a complete moron. If you have ever been to a U2 concert then you would surely know that Bono actually sings, beautifully I may add. The best advice that you have given is for people to go out and buy a CD, especially Joshua Tree. I took my brother to his first U2 show and he was amazed. One listen is all it takes. One more thing, I don't think anyone will be calling you. Sorry!!!

Ryanmimo
Ryanmimo

ok, so you don't like U2.  and no one cares.  

Mike
Mike

I told 'Mark' you sent me, and he said you were the kind of guy who thinks he's so damn smart and everyone else is so stupid.  Ryan you are a music snob, and nobody likes a music snob.

Paul Sharples
Paul Sharples

You are an ass. And for the record The Inbetweeners was on E4 in the UK. I'm guessing you're a child due to your childish views and not at all surprised you're single, Ladies of the world rejoice... a lucky escape was had by you all.

Ryan Ritchie
Ryan Ritchie

Guys I apologize for being such a tool! I'm really just trying to search for my own identity. I'm struggling between figuring out whether or not I want to conform with everyone else and like good music or just purposely pick obscure bands no one has ever heard of and claim they're real music. Forgive me, I have issues that stem beyond my pathetic excuse for writing. It's hard being a hipster in this cruel world...

Vrvegirl9
Vrvegirl9

Wow. Someones bitter, maybe smoking some weed with the cool kids while listening to animal collective will make you feel all better!

Joey D
Joey D

Wine isn't cool, but weed is? I guess that's why he can only write for OC weekly.

Atonalritchie
Atonalritchie

Hey u2 is an amazing band. Seriously get a life and if you don't like them why write about them. Get a life .

Tommy9807554
Tommy9807554

I first saw U2 in concert back in 1982, again in 1985 then lastly 1988.  Each time it was a bigger venue.   But, the smaller the venue the better the concert was.  That '82 show was the best !!!

So now I just enjoy concerts on my big screen from that cable channel that shows concerts ......   No problem with crowds, parking, high ticket prices, getting robbed, restroom lines,   12 dollar beers, 7 dollar hotdogs..

I got drinks, food and the volume control.

Jojo
Jojo

What an embarrassing article. Who gave this guy a keyboard?

Mrdickgozinya
Mrdickgozinya

You deride their music and yet you fail to offer even one single alternative. You should ask Mark at TKO for a suggestion the next time you decide to "write" a cry for help cloaked as a blog entry.

Since you offer absolutely no cogent reason why you hate U2, I'm going to suggest that you were making out with an actual girl while listening to The Joshua Tree (or whatever the fuck it's called). You got a little too excited & jizzed in  your pants. This girl then told everyone she knew (thank God Facebook wasn't around then) and everyone at your school sang "Jizz through Your Wires" whenever you passed in the halls.

Have fun fucking yourself this weekend, I'll be at the U2 concert.

DumbshitRitchie
DumbshitRitchie

A total idiot. What a dumb fucking article. Asswipe.

This guy is a DB
This guy is a DB

Yuppies?  What young urban professional listens to U2?  I'm scratching 40 bro, and I've got a wide listening selection thank you.  Everything from PE to The Strokes to NIN to Muse to Camper Van Beethoven to unsigned bands, etc etc... Bro, there's a reason you are single.  This is the most ass-tastic piece of drivel I've ever seen written.  

Hball3
Hball3

Dude... you're just an idiot, no explanation necessary.

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