The Devolution of Sting: A Timeline

Categories: LOL

Glee star Matthew Morrison revealed this week that he is recording a duet with Sting, an announcement that thrilled middle-aged virgins worldwide but confirmed to fans of The Police that Sting's transformation from a wiry and literate songwriting innovator into a squinting, washed-up blowhard was finally complete.

Today we present a timeline charting Sting's 25-year decline from one of the only cool rock stars of the 1980s to his present state as the human embodiment of a Safe Word - a trusty, one syllable expression cried out when things get a little too dangerous or start moving a little too fast.

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