Five Careers for the Post-Retirement Phil Collins
4. INS Officer
We know what you're thinking--Collins' gift for genial onstage banter would serve him well during the "good cop" portion of interrogations. In reality, Collins would fare better as the bad cop. Not because his pervasive grin and wobbly chin suggest a hidden dark side (they do), but because a review of his 1980s output suggests that Collins hates Mexicans and would enjoy nothing more than hunting them down 10 hours a day.
For proof, look no further than the video for "Illegal Alien," in which Collins impersonates an undocumented laborer by donning a circus-strongman mustache and Hitler toupee while dancing like a constipated Boris Karloff. To drive home his unrelenting scorn for the people of Mexico, Collins sings the tune in the sort of needling bogus accent used to greater comic effect by Borat star Sash Baron Cohen. The whole sorry video culminates in a street dance-off between Collins, his embarrassed band mates (notice how they wear shades throughout) and a dozen American actors made up to look Mexican, which at the time this video was made meant they went without a shave.
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