Barstow Boyz Perform Friday at La Cave, Don't Cover Al Stewart

Keith May/OC Weekly
Barstow Boyz at the Blue Beet in April 2009
The Barstow Boyz bring back Sunset sexy like Timberlake in a Nightrain tornado of sleaze. After brief run-ins with the Mexican federales, Danny Bonaduce and flag-lovin' fuddy duddies, the Costa Mesa contingent of unrelenting arena-rock-lovin' badasses is ready to take the stage and serve up the sizzle. We checked in with Barstow Boyz (who may or may not consist of members from your favorite local bands) frontman Rim Morrison for a long overdue chat.

Keith May/OC Weekly
OC Weekly: Hey. What's up Rim Morrison?

Rim Morrison: Not much.

What were you doing when I called? What does rocker Rim Morrison do on a Tuesday night?

He sings "Tuesday Afternoon." [A very crappy Moody Blues song.] And he has to make important decisions, stuff that most guys have to deal with--like, sausage or meatballs? Pretty much anything can happen on a Tuesday night--except when we're in Palmdale, trying to figure out how we're going to play at the Youth Center and have an NA meeting at the same time.

Rough. So what is the working relationship like within the band?

We don't work much so there's not really that much of a relationship. This is our first show in a year.

Why a year?

It's hard to explain. Have you ever seen Excalibur? Well it has nothing to do with that. But the magician Merlin did his magic so King Arthur could be conceived and go out for him to raise hell. It's nothing really like that other than that after we do a show we have to rest for a long time. We've been going on like this for about 6 or 7 years.

There were also some other unexpected things. Niles had a child and got arrested trying to join one of the Mexican drug cartels. It was one of those trying-to-show-brotherhood things. They would only let him go if he gave up some information, and then they started looking into how much a healthy mulleted white baby would go for on the black market. So that's pretty much what we're all about: spell casting and selling babies.

Favorite Barstow Boyz show performed ever?

There's a few. There was the time we were on stage at 7 in the morning with Danny Bonaduce in front of thousands of people, guzzling a gallon-size bottle of Jack Daniels and having Bonaduce giving me the evil eye while I'm singing the national anthem, looking at me like he was saying: 'You are a disgrace.' And I'm just thinking, 'You've seen far worse than this just looking in the mirror, buddy.'

But you know, ruining the "Star Spangled Banner"--let me tell you, you have not done anything until you've ruined "Star Spangled Banner" in front of a shitload of people. You don't know how that songs affects people until you fuck it up. You would think more people would have a sense of humor, like maybe guys who wear short shorts would understand. But they don't. They're pissed.

And then there was this time that our Roadie Spider traded his jean shorts for some girl's expensive designer jeans right on stage. She kept his shit and he kept her expensive, designer jeans. Then she came by the next day and Spider had already sold them on Craig's List. He made more off that then we got paid that night.

Wow. That's something to aspire to.

Yeah. That's thinking on your feet.

Keith May/OC Weekly
How is your Orange County audience different than the rest?

Orange County audiences are different than audiences in L.A. because people in Orange County actually like music. So, yeah, that is kind of different. But audiences are all pretty much the same. A lot of people like to think that their audience is smart, that they catch on to things. But I like to think our audience is pretty stupid. I know that my intellect has not progressed past age 12. We've toned down the hardcore pornography though. People got too confused.

One of my favorite things about a Barstow Boyz show is how great everyone looks, the amazing sense of style throughout the room and on stage. Who is your style icon?

The Maytag repairman. I like to think of myself as a cross between him and Archie Bunker. I mean, I am thinking that in my mind anyway. I don't know if that is what it's actually like for other people looking at me. But I'm all like--I'm bored, I have nothing to do and my son-in-law is a meathead. And I don't even have a son-in-law.

What is the most underrated band from the late '70s, early '80s that the Barstow Boyz covers?

People don't appreciate Al Stewart. But we don't cover Al Stewart.

Keith May/OC Weekly
Why don't you cover Al Stewart?

Because people don't appreciate him. We don't want to piss people off. There's already enough stuff making people angry. We were talking about this the other night. If one of us mentions a band, we're like, 'Oh yeah, do you remember that song,?' 'Oh yeah, I hate that song.' 'Oh we definitely have to do that song.'

In the past we've done some stuff by Aerosmith, Jethro Tull. maybe some Who-- stuff that people genuinely like. But it's the stuff that we might say, 'I really like it but for all the wrong reasons' that we like to throw in.

It's that same feeling you get knowing that even though you are vegetarian you can get away with eating the French fries at McDonalds that are fried in beef fat. It's kind of naughty, but you're not betraying your true core.

It's like you just looked into my soul.

Jim Ladd has that effect on me, too. The DJ on KLOS--'Lord have mercy.' He has that sort of fire in the belly effect because I feel like I did something wrong by turning the dial to him. Like when he goes off on his pseudo Ray Manzarek shtick.

The origin of the Barstow Boyz--no one really knows this but we were going to be--this still may happen--a homoerotic cover band of the Doors, called the Back Doors. Hence the name: Rim Morrison. It could still happen though. Keep your fingers and others things crossed.

Keith May/OC Weekly
Check the impressive man cleavage on Rim.
So what's the future hold for the Barstow Boyz?

Hopefully we won't have to sleep nine days after this performance, and hopefully we can get back up and do it again before the holidays are over. As long as we can continue to find spandex to fit us, and people will still come by the stage and dance on it and help us test its capacity, we'll keep rocking.

The Barstow Boyz tear it up at La Cave, 1695 Irvine Ave., Costa Mesa, (949) 646-7944. Fri., Nov. 19, 9 p.m. 21+.

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