Truce Colors: MTV VMAs Gives the World One Night Without Cleavage Carnage ... Almost

By Joe Vince Tue., Sep. 14 2010 at 10:12 AM

Categories: Boob Wars, lady gaga, music, wtf

Where's Lil Kim when you need her?

Historically, the MTV Video Music Awards have been the scene of mammary massacres for Boob Wars since time immemorial (or at least 1984). But this year, it looks like a cease fire was imposed. Just check out how chaste superpowers like Katy Perry and Lady Gaga--cold cut combo attire aside--looked. Hell, even an upstart Boob Nation like Snooki was demure.

Were there any skirmishes? Sadly, yes. And the results weren't pretty.

When the only movement in a Boob War comes from Ke$ha and a 64-year-old Cher squeezed into a 21-year-old Bob Mackie bodysuit, you know things are bad. And don't think I'm bagging on Cher because of her age. It's already on the record that, at 65, I still consider Helen Mirren one of the sexiest women in the world. But unlike Cher, she has the good sense of not wearing the same outfit she sported in 1989 to a big, televised event in 2010.

As for Ke$ha, I can only paraphrase everyone's favorite fairy: Cleavage on Ke$ha is worth about as much as tits on a turtle.