Now that both Ellen DeGeneres and Simon Cowell are leaving American Idol, rumors abound over who's going to be the next arbiter of taste on the Fox show. J Lo
's supposedly signed a deal. Allegedly, Steven Tyler'
s been asked to join the show. P Diddy
's thrown his hat into the ring. Elton John, Jessica Simpson, Howard Stern, Justin Timberlake--it seems like everyone's vying for a spot beside Randy Jackson.
As long as we're all speculating, though, we might as well put together our American Idol dream team: here's five rock stars who, if they joined the singing contest, would guarantee an audience like no other.
|Andrew Youssef/OC Weekly|1. Courtney Love
She has a filthy mouth, sure, but she'd be perfect: a Paula Abdul-Simon Cowell hybrid. She's enough of a drunk to compete with Abdul's legacy and would probably slur out the most interesting, mean things to say about Idol contestants ala Cowell. She's an accomplished musician AND a trainwreck, so she'd have viewers waiting for her crazy shenanigans each episode. (Fox would always have a use for their bleeping apparatus, too.) Plus, we already know she can scope out talent before anyone else; she picked Kurt Cobain, remember?
|Andrew Youssef/OC Weekly|
2. Paul McCartney
First off, he's British, and you know the show gains (+10) cred just for that swanky accent. Plus, he's a Beatle. There's nothing more legit than that--when a Beatle gives a fledgling singer advice, you know they're going to take it. Lastly, Sir Paul also looks like he'd give struggling musicians a fair assessment, without being too mean or too catty.
3. Kanye West
Life's always more interesting with Kanye West around--just ask Pitchfork
. He'd Tweet on the show constantly (maybe pretend to crush Randy Jackson with his fingers as if a jet), use Idol
as a soap box for his inappropriate remarks against George W. Bush, chronically interrupt other judges and interrupt winners by saying "Imma let you finish" and proclaim that Beyonce is better than any contestant AI
could ever barf out..."OF ALL TIME!"
The woman doesn't need to get PAID to talk smack about other people--heck, she does it on Twitter, in interviews, and onstage. Often controversial when she speaks her mind (she called Lady Gaga a "good mimic"), she makes her verbal diarrhea work to her benefit. (That whole Trufflegate
fiasco? Genius cred-boosting move. Way to make the New York Times issue a correction
!) And no matter what, she's still a great artist who'd be a joy to watch week in and week out. The only thing Fox would have to worry about? M.I.A.'s inability to keep her bodily fluids to herself
--I don't know how the camera persons would feel if she spit on them during a show.
You want an impartial judge who'll assess a contestant solely on musical skill and talent? Stevie Wonder is it.