1, 2, 3, 4 ... Katy Perry Declares A Boob War! See Who is Pulling Out the Big Guns in This Fight

Categories: lists, music, wtf
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Katy Perry fires the first volley of Boob War in this screen shot from her "California Gurls" video
In the past week, Katy Perry has claimed the summer as hers. Not with the inexplicable success of her single "California Gurls," nor her inexplicable romance with the inexplicably charming Russell Brand. No, she's done it with the er, explicable power of her cleavage of mass destruction.

But if she thinks she's the only one pulling out the bra busters, she better invest in better mammary intelligence. That's right, the summer of 2010 is the beginning of Boob War!

Here are the dossiers on the women who just might overthrow Katy.

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A hacker allegedly posted this topless photo of Hayley Williams to her Twitter account. Without the maple leaves. Those were our touches.
Hayley Williams The lead singer of the band Paramore claims her Twitter account was hacked, and some miscreant posted a photo of her topless. This maneuver doesn't turn the redheaded lead singer into a world boob power, but it does put her on the map. Consider this Canada's declaration that it's not just their moose that have nice racks. [UPDATE: Apologies for thinking Willliams and Paramore are Canadian; they're from Tennessee. Pretend the leaves on the photos are from the tulip poplar, the state tree. Thanks to commenter Wolf for pointing out my gaffe.]

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The photo on the left shows Palin from a November 2009 Newsweek cover. The photo on the right is Palin earlier this month at the Belmont Stakes. She denies getting breast implants, but she'll also tell you that you can't trust anything on the left.
Sarah Palin Say hello to the Boob War equivalent of Iran secretly ramping up its nuclear program. Allegations have been flying that the former vice presidential candidate has gotten breast implants. But Palin recently told Fox News' Greta Van Susteren, known for her own tiger-face implants, that those rumors are as false as ... well, a pair of breast implants. Still, the idea that Palin has added cup size to her Tina Fey looks is a chilling thought.

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HBO
The women of True Blood: (from left) Natasha Alam, Lindsay Pulsipher, Brit Morgan and Anna Paquin.
The entire cast of True Blood This is the only real super power that should make Katy tremble in her 32Ds (or 32DDs, depending on the interview you read). The HBO vampire series began its third season this past weekend, and it added to its formidable arsenal led by Anna Paquin. New cast members Brit Morgan, Lindsay Pulsipher and Natasha Alam give the show a staggering amount of firepower and provide the one tactical advantage Katy doesn't have: The fortitude to engage in mutually assured nudity. And that's not even including the rippling chests of men like Stephen Moyer, Alexander Skarsgard and Sam Trammell.

Of course, don't get me started about what might happen if Christina Aguilera stages a Vaj Insurrection.

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"Run AWAY from the light, Carol Anne!" Christina Aguilera lights up her lady bits in this screen cap from her performance at the 2010 MTV Movie Awards.


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