BREAKING: Michael Jackson Not Really Dead!

Yep, it was only a matter of time: Now you can add Michael Jackson to the ranks among Elvis (still eating), Tupac (still rapping), JFK (?) and Hitler (vacationing in South America).

I mean, really, check out this video from LiveLeak.com of Jackson supposedly walking out of a Los Angeles coroner's van. See that white shirt? PROOF. Michael Jackson wore white shirts.

Here's what LiveLeak.com has to say about this matter: "This video shows that Michael was still alive after his dead body was transported to the Los Angeles Dept. of Coroner I checked the license plate number and it looks like the King of Pop is jumping out of the same van, his dead body has been in. I got the original video tape from a trustworthy source. I know him for years. And I am sure it´s real and Michael is alive."

Done! Now that that's settled: You think the Freemasons were behind this one?