The Top 10 Rap Songs White People Love. Yo.

Categories: lists

Brian at catsandbeer.com has bestowed what he thinks is the definitive list of rap tracks that are closest to the hearts of honkies [he posted this in Oct. 2007, but it's just come to my attention through a friend's tip].

Bri's right on right on most of the time, but I have some bones to pick. For example, this statement: "[Vanilla Ice's 'Ice Ice Baby' is] one song on the list that White People pretend to only like ironically. Don't be fooled: deep down White People still think Ice is 110% gangsta." Load of shite, mate. Plenty of Caucasians dismiss this track (ever see the video to 3rd Bass' "Pop Goes the Weasel"?) and even whiteys who like it wouldn't consider Robert Van Winkle 10% "gangsta."

Here's another dubious claim: "If you've ever seen Black People comedy, you'll be familiar with the notion that White People have no rhythm and can't dance. This is true." This is false—unless you never go to clubs (some of the best breakdancers I've seen have lacked melanin and just last night this ofay who looked like a plump plumber bust some incredible double-jointed, funky-robot moves at Avalon Bar's dubstep biweekly)—and if you conveniently forget about the hundreds (thousands?) of history' s great white drummers, many of whom were sampled by black hip-hop artists. Ah, but don't let reality get in the way of cheap racial humor, right?

As for the list, where's the Geto Boys' "Mind Playing Tricks on Me"? Where's Public Enemy's "Bring the Noise"? Where's anything off De La Soul's 3 Feet High and Rising? Something off Definitive Jux, say, El-P or Atmosphere or Aesop Rock, perhaps? Nada. Dude, Brian, your stereotyping skills are tight, but they could be sharper.

De La Soul's "Eye Know" (with that FAT Steely Dan sample)


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